Dear Friends:

Lashon Ha-rah, literally "bad tongue" is usually defined as saying or writing things which defame or slander one's neighbor.

However, what if one speaks the truth? If one's neighbor has done something bad or unkind, is it still lashon ha-rah if you repeat it?

Judaism says "yes." If you say something that gratuitously causes hurt or pain it is considered lashon ha-rah.*

We learn this from the story of Joseph. Joseph was a tattle-tale: "At seventeen years of age, Joseph tended the flocks with his brothers as a helper to the sons of his father's wives, Bilhah and Zilpah. And Joseph brought bad reports of them to their father." (Gen. 37:2)

Joseph and his Coat

The flames of Joseph's brothers' anger against him were fanned by their father's favoritism (Jacob gave Joseph a Coat of Many Colors) and arrogant dreams (that his family would one day come to bow down to him). They were ignited, however, by his talebearing against them.

Joseph told the truth when he tattled on his brothers. It was, nevertheless, still lashon harah. According the commentator known as "S'deh Tevuot" Joseph's talebearing was the genesis of the odyssey that lead the Israelites into Egyptian slavery. Perhaps if he had remained quiet, things would have turned out differently.

Similarly, one never knows where an act of kindness may lead. Judah treated his daughter-in-law Tamar disrespectfully. After her first husband died, Tamar married Judah's second son as was required by Torah law. However, when he died, Judah refused to allow her to marry his third son, Shelah. Determined to provide a child to carry on her first husband's name, Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute and slept with Judah, who impregnated her. 

David In Jerusalem

 She bore twins. She named the firstborn Perez. Israel's greatest king, King David, is a descendant of Perez. One day Perez will also be an ancestor of the Messiah.

Why did this union produce a king and a messiah? Because, despite Judah's refusal to abide by Torah law and his unseemly relationship with his daughter-in-law, earlier in his life Judah had performed an act of kindness and mercy. When his other brothers wanted to kill Joseph, Judah saved him: "Then Judah said to his brothers, 'What do we gain by killing our brother and covering up his blood? Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, but let us not do away with him ourselves. After all, he is our brother, our own flesh.' His brothers agreed." (Gen. 37:26-27)

Kindness, compassion, and mercy

According to S'deh Tevuot, despite his shortcomings it was this one act that merited him the honor of being the ancestor of the Messiah.

S'deh Tevuot concludes that from these stories of Joseph and Judah we learn an important lesson about life: Hatred, even if it justified, destroys the world while kindness and mercy have the power to redeem it.

*(Obviously, you are not only allowed but obligated to repeat information that may protect others from harm.)