Dear Friends:

 

A few years ago our daughter, Margalit, called Judy on a Monday afternoon. Knowing it was my day off she asked, "What are you doing?" Judy hesitated and said, "You don't want to know."

 

Margalit persisted, "Why won't you tell me?" Judy said, "Alright, if you really want to know, we are at Home of Peace Cemetery."

 

"What are you doing there?"

 

"We're purchasing graves. We are here to pick them out."

 

"Ewwwwwwwww," Margalit said. "You're right. I don't want to know that!"

 

Some people are hesitant to purchase burial property. Judy and I were not. We agree with the many who make advance arrangements for their funeral. Choosing your own burial site insures that your eternal rest is in a place of your choosing and more importantly, removes that burden from your survivors.

Cave of Machpelah

 

A lot of decisions go into the decision of where to be buried. Not only is it important to be close to family and friends, but the "neighborhood" of your plot also needs to be taken into consideration. People often prefer one cemetery over another, and can even be concerned about who their "neighbors" will be.

 We learn the importance of acquiring the correct burial site from our ancestor, Abraham. When his beloved wife Sarah died, Abraham had no permanent home. He was wandering in the land of Canaan. Although God would eventually give this land to his descendants, Abraham had no claim on it. As he told the Hittites then living in Hebron, "I am a resident alien among you." (Gen. 23:4)

Interior of Machpelah

It was important for Abraham that Sarah receive a proper burial. This not only meant the appropriate rituals, but the appropriate burial site. The chosen site, a cave, was not to be for Sarah alone, but rather would serve as an achuzat kever, which according to our Etz Hayyim commentary means: "...an inheritable tomb. This element is vital to the transaction, because the cave is to serve future generations of the family of Abraham." (P. 128)

Ephron  and Abraham

Although the owner of the cave of Machpelah, Ephron the Hittite, offers to give Abraham the cave as a gift, this is only a subterfuge. In the end, Abraham hands over a substantial amount of cash, four hundred shekels of silver, to purchase the burial site. 

Abraham's diligence shows us the thought and care that must go into choosing a burial site. Despite the "Ewwww" factor, taking responsibility for our own Eternal Rest will remove a lot of stress for those who love us after we are gone.