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Parashat Toldot
 
When Hate
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November 1, 2013

29 Cheshvan 5774

 

Candle Lighting: 5:40 p.m.


Dear Friends:

Sharing is a difficult concept for young children to understand and embrace.
"Mine!"

When my older grandson was around 18 months old, I brought him to our Shekhter Playground while preschool was in session. He made a beeline for one of the toy trucks. When another toddler eagerly approached to play with the truck, he grabbed it and ran away shouting "mine! mine! mine!" (He is now six and much better about sharing!)

When two children fight over a toy parents often say: "You need to share. If you don't share I will take the toy away from both of you." Sometimes this works and sometimes it does not. For some children it is more important that their sibling or friend doesn't get to play with a toy than it is for them to play with it themselves.

Rebecca and Isaac's twins, Jacob and Esau, sparred throughout most of their lives. Their fierce rivalry began before they were born: "The children struggled in her [Rebecca's] womb, and she said, 'If so, why do I exist?'"

Jacob and Esau
Jacob and Esau
Our sages said that Jacob and Esau's struggles were based on their antithetical spiritual personalities. Jacob was destined to be a thoughtful, reflective, studious worshiper of God. Esau, on the other hand, would grow into a coarse, ignorant idolater. Our sages further said that their struggles in Rebecca's womb were based on these differences. Every time Rebecca passed by a house of Torah study, Jacob tried to get out and join the students to study. Every time Rebecca passed by an idolatrous temple, Esau tried to escape to sacrifice and worship.

However, this rabbinic theory leads to a perplexing question. It is clear that Jacob was not able to leave Rebecca's womb when he passed by the study house because his path was blocked by Esau, who was going to be born first. However, what kept Esau from leaping out when he passed an idolatrous temple? He was first in line!

Rabbi Yechezkel of Kozmir, Poland supplies the answer. Esau hated Jacob almost from the moment of conception. Although Esau longed to leave Rebecca's womb in order to worship idols, it was more important for him to stay behind so that Jacob would not be able to leave to study Torah. Esau's hatred of Jacob was more important to him than his love of idols.

That is the way we often see children behave. It is more important that another child suffers than that they themselves benefit.

Sadly, the same can also be said of some adults.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal
Tifereth Israel Synagogue
San Diego, CA 92119 
 

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Shabbat Candle Lighting: 5:40 p.m.
 
Family Shabbat Service: 6:15 p.m.
 
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