Most parents get only a couple of opportunities to sit down face to face with their child's teacher and discuss their child's progress. Often, we are capped at 15 to 20 minutes to learn everything we can about our child's life at school. While we expect teachers to be well prepared for each conference, often parents do not take the time to do the same.

Being intentional about the knowledge you want to gain during these conferences is critical. The parent teacher conference provides you with the opportunity to gain the perspective of a trained professional who spends an enormous amount of time with your child. Being mindful about the way you plan for your child's conference can go a long way. Here are a few ideas to help you get the most out of your meeting.

Before the Conference:

* Talk to your child. Ask them what their teacher may say, what they like and do not like about school, and if they want you to discuss anything in particular with their teacher.

* Talk to your spouse. Find out if they have questions or concerns prior to the conference so you aren't surprised during your time with the teacher. If your spouse cannot attend, find out if they have questions or concerns for the teacher.
 

* Arrive early. You don't want to come racing into the school in a frazzled state of mind. Give yourself plenty of time so you arrive relaxed and ready to listen.

During the Conference:

* Listen. Sometimes we get so involved in our thoughts about what we want to say that we fail to be present and really hear what the teacher is saying. Know that you will have the opportunity to speak your mind (remember that is what your list is for) and be intentional about actively listening. The teacher has valuable information that they want to share, so listen to them!
 

* Ask the teacher how they prefer to communicate about progress. Do they prefer email, phone calls or a personal check-in. Make it as easy as possible for the teacher to communicate with you.

* Breathe. When our kids struggle we struggle. Often when concern is expressed about our child our brain interprets it as a personal attack. If you feel your blood pressure rising, the tears coming, take a few deep breaths. Give yourself time to reflect on what the teacher is saying, don't feel you need to respond right away. One of my favorite quotes by Elizabeth Stone is: "Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." Breathe.

After the Conference:

* Talk to your child right away about the positive things the teachers discussed and then talk about their suggestions for improvement.

* Follow up with the teacher. Check in on progress and let them know what you are working on at home.

* If there is something you forgot to discuss at the conference follow up with a note or phone call. Keep the dialogue going.