Winter 2015

 Serving the loved ones of homicide victims.

Healing HeARTS Workshop: February 17

Where: Horizons (819 5th St. SE, Cedar Rapids)
Date: Tuesday, February 17
Time: 6:00 PM - 7:30 PM
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Healing HeARTS art workshops serve individuals who have fallen victim to violent crime or have lost a loved one through homicide. Arts interventions are based on the belief that the creative process involved in the making of art is healing and life enhancing.

This month's Healing HeARTS workshop will feature local artist Heather Wagner. Join Heather as we learn aspects of the Zentangle Method, which is very different from regular drawing, painting, and other art forms. It is based on the healing artistic meditation that calms the mind and rejuvenates the heart.

Limited space is available. Workshops are offered at no cost to participants. Reservations must be received one full week in advance of the workshop date, and a minimum number of attendees must register to hold the class. Registrants will be notified in the event of a cancellation. 
Reserve your space by calling (319) 398-3943 or email [email protected].
A New Normal: Ten Things I've Learned About Trauma

By: Catherine Woodiwiss
Excerpt from Catapult Magazine Vol. 13, Num. 1

I wasn't really expecting painful things to happen to me.

I knew that pain was a part of life, but - thanks in part to a peculiar blend of "God-has-a-plan" Southern roots, a suburban "Midwestern nice" upbringing and a higher education in New England stoicism - I managed to skate by for quite some time without having to experience it.

After a handful of traumas in the last five years, things look different now. Trauma upends everything we took for granted, including things we didn't know we took for granted. And many of these realities I wish I'd known when I first encountered them. So, while the work of life and healing continues, here are ten things I've learned about trauma along the way:

1. Trauma permanently changes us.

This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as "getting over it." The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no "back to the old me." You are different now, full stop.

This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life - warts, wisdom and all - with courage.

2. Presence is always better than distance.

There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis, people "need space." I don't know where this assumption originated, but in my experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up or covering all the bases.

It is a much lighter burden to say, "Thanks for your love, but please go away," than to say, "I was hurting and no one cared for me." If someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side of presence.

3. Healing is seasonal, not linear.

It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a wobbly figure-8. It's perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for months, only to jump to another end entirely...only to find yourself back in the same old mud again next year.

Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.

4. Surviving trauma takes "firefighters" and "builders." Very few people are both.

This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team - those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side; and the reconstruction crew - those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.

A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey.

5. Grieving is social, and so is healing.

For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be most fully healed.

It's not easy to know what this looks like - can I trust casual acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?

Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice giving shelter to others.

Remember...
 
"Remember, we all stumble---every one of us...
That's why it's a comfort to walk hand-in-hand."

-Unknown

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Tell Our Story
"A psychologist once said that when we experience great tragedy, we take in all the sounds, sights, and smells, and they lodge in our old, primitive brain stem. Our frontal lobe, the thinking, acting part of our brain shuts down. We want to fight, to run, or we become paralyzed: fight, flight, freeze. To open up that frontal lobe, we need to tell our story, write our story, dance our story, turn it into a play, sing it and draw it. We can build it, sculpt it, share it."

-A. Salloum and Joy and Dr. Marvin Johnson
Memorial List


 

Adams, Andy
Ayers, Brandon
Bailey, Curtis
Bean, Mark
Bell, Kevin
Bessert, Haley
Blahnik, Kayla
Blough, Mercedes
Blum, Patricia
Boldra, Trevor
Booher, James
Breeding, James
Brenneman, Amanda
Britton, Dennis
Budde, Marty
Butler, Levi
Cadwallader, John
Chase, Craig (Rocky)
Churchill, Douglas
Crawford, Robert
Darnell, Erin
Davis, Gary
Demoss, Theresa
Downing, Cassie
Duis, Shelby
Durkin, Natosha
Eatman, Kevin
Eggleston, Jeffrey
Evenson, Traci
Farrell, Juli
Fishel (Thomas), Sharon
Fisher, Eugene
Folkerts, Jacqueline
Freese, Sean
Gabel, Angela
Gaffney, Crystal
Gage, Jetseta
Gentzler, Joyce
Gonnerman, Shelley
Goodyear, Gregory (Scott)
Gustafson, Jon
Hajek, Susan
Hanrahan, Kristin
Hanrahan, Mitchell
Hanson, Matthew
Harrison, Celena
Heiderschett, Michael
Heising, Gloria
Helble, John
Hill, Katrina
Huber, Linda
Hugh, Emma
Hugh, Tabitha
Ingham, Michael
Isenberg Weldy, Wanda
Jackson, Jamie
Keyes, Sandra
Kirk, Mathew
Klein, William
Kolacia, William
Konicek-Wells, Jeffery
Koschmeder, Amy
Kuehl, Angela
Kunkle, Ronald
Lane, Timothy
Lehner, Maria
Lewin, Luke
Livingston, Ingrid
Lozon, Verna
Lym, Michael
Lyon, Tommy
Marshall, Donna
Martinez, Toni
Massey, Evan
McKay, Sarah
McKinney, Paul
Miller, Kurtus
Nash, Sandra
Nelson, Mike
Nelson Jr., Charles
Nicosa, Kristi
Nimmers, Earl
O'Connell, Kevin
O'Leary, Tina
Palumbo, Sara
Paulson, Rebecca
Petit, Terri
Rathjen, Jennifer
Reames-Grant, Bonnie
Richards, Cyd
Riepe, Kara
Ruby, Jane
Saldivar, Jesse
Sammons, Dustin
Schappert, Brian
Schlitter, Kamryn
Servey, Michael
Simmons, Betty
Simmons, Brandi
Sissel, Michael
Smith, Jessie
Sparks, Clifton
Steck, Kirk
Stewart, Jaxson
Stewart, Marshall
Stickley, Cathy
Stokowski, Shane
Sueppel, Eleanor
Sueppel, Ethan
Sueppel, Mira
Sueppel, Seth
Sueppel, Sheryl
Sunner, Bret
Taylor, Robert
Thompson, Heidi
Tomberlin, Tawny
Trenkle, Linda
Vanderlinden, Gene
Wagehoft, Ryan
Wallace, Max
Watson-Dalton, Laura
Webb, Daniel
Weeks, Judith
Wells, Greg
Wemark, Melissa
Williams, Jerry
Williams, Nathan
Wolfe, Sarah
Wolfe, Suzy
Wood, Christian
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