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matrix vision newsletter
Extraverts and Introverts Issue
March, 2013
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| Today's Story |
Frank Sinatra was dining out one night when a young high school lad came up to his table.
"Mr. Sinatra," said the teenage boy, "my name is Bernie Rosenberg. Would you please do me a favour?"
"What kind of a favour?" Sinatra asked.
"Well I'm here with my girl and I want to make a good impression on her. I certainly would appreciate it if you would drop by my table and say 'Hi, Bernie!'"
"OK, kid, I'll try," said the singer, smiling.
A little later he dropped by the boy's table and said "Hi Bernie!"
The boy looked up at him and snapped, "Don't bother me now, Frankie. Can't you see I'm busy?"
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| Introvert & Extravert Quotes |
"Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell."
Criss Jami
" The squeaky wheel gets the grease."
"...because I rant not, neither rave of what I feel, can you be so shallow as to dream that I feel nothing?"
"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."
"The best thinking has been done in solitude."
Thomas Alva Edison
"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within."
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
"Be a craftsman in speech that thou mayest be strong, for the strength of one is the tongue, and speech is mightier than all fighting. "
Maxim of Ptahhotep
"I want you to be everything that's you, deep at the center of your being."
Confucius
"The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude."
"The good and the wise lead quiet lives."
"You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room."
Dr Suess
"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts."
Kahil Gibran
"Let us be silent, that we may hear the whispers of the Gods."
"Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know."
"Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent."
Dionysius
"Speech is civilisation itself. The word, even the most contradictory word preserves contact - it is silence that isolates."
Thomas Mann
"If only our great thinkers could learn to talk and our great talkers could learn to think."
Ashleigh Brilliant
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| Greetings! | |
Welcome to the matrix vision newsletter for March 2013.
The theme of this newsletter is "Extraverts and Introverts". This is a personality trait that appears in many of the currently used psychological profiles.
Examples include the Big Five model, Jung's analytical psychology, Hans Eysenck's three-factor model, Raymond Cattell's 16 personality factors (16PF), the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI), and of course the well-known Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).
Throughout this newsletter I will be (for the most part) using the MBTI spelling of Extraversion.
The newsletter covers several topics:
- the differences between peoples preferences for Extraversion or Introversion
- a special look at Introverts
- some myths about Introverts and Extraverts
- the care of people in each preference.
- using Surveys and Feedback to establish and build stronger teams
Enjoy your reading and as always your feedback would be welcome!
If any of the information interests you and if you would like to find out how it can help you please contact us. We would love to talk with you. Barry
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| Extraverts and Introverts |
What is the difference between Extraversion and Introversion?
The difference between Extraversion and Introversion relates to people's energy; where it comes from and where it goes, rather than the typical definition of extraverts being talkative and gregarious, introverts being shy and withdrawn.
Extraverts' focus is outward: they focus their energy towards people and things outside themselves, whereas introverts' focus is inward - they are more self-contained and self-reliant. Sustained or excessive interaction with other people drains introverts, who need time alone to recharge. On the other hand, social interaction energises extraverts.
People who prefer: Extraversion
- Focus their energy and attention outwardly
- Are interested in the world of people and things
People who prefer: Introversion
- Focus their energy and attention inwardly
- Are interested in the inner world of thoughts and reflections
We all live in both worlds (use both preferences) but not equally well or easily
People who prefer Extraversion
- Are attracted to the outer world of people and events
- Are aware of who and what is around them
- May not be aware of what is going on inside themselves
- Enjoy meeting and talking with new people
- Are friendly, verbally skilled and easy to know
- Speak out easily and often at meetings
- Are bored and restless if they're alone to long
- Do their thinking as they speak
- May act and/or speak first, then (possibly) think
- Tell you all about themselves very rapidly
- Give Breadth to life
- Can seem shallow and intruding to Introverts
- Need Introversion for balance
People who prefer Introversion
- Are attracted to the inner world of thoughts, feelings and reflections
- Are usually very aware of their inner reactions
- May not be aware of the outer world around them
- Have to make an effort to meet new people
- Hold back at meetings and often have trouble getting involved
- Are often quiet, reserved and hard to get to know
- Become drained and tired with people (particularly strangers)
- Need time to gather their thoughts before speaking
- Reflect and think before (possibly) acting
- Are often difficult to get to know
- Give Depth to life
- Can seem withdrawn and secretive to Extraverts
- Need Extraversion for balance
To help you understand your personality preference on the dimension Introversion/Extraversion The Myers Briggs Type Indicator is an ideal tool. In addition it provides feedback on 3 other preferences Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling and Judging/Perceiving.
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) tool is the most widely used personality instrument in the world, with over two million people taking it annually.
It is a forced choice, self-report, personality questionnaire used to measure and describe people's preferences for how they like to get information, make decisions and orient their lives. It is based on Carl Jung's theory of perception and judgement and classifies people into 16 broad personality Types.
The MBTI tool provides a simple way of seeing how people are alike and how they differ.
When people are aware of their differences, they can build better understanding and reduce conflict.
The MBTI tool thus helps to improve teamwork and productivity whilst reducing unproductive interpersonal and intra-organisational conflict. Individuals can use their MBTI results to understand their preferred learning styles, evaluate the fit between themselves and their jobs, and better manage time and stress.
To find out how you can use the MBTI to help you and your team understand personality preferences
CONTACT US
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Looking at Introverts
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I am an Extravert... I just thought I would say that up front. My personality preference is not like these Introverts pictured at the right.
However, I recently read a book that caused me to think about the way in which Extraverts and Introverts are treated. The book is Susan Cain's - Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World That Won't Stop Talking.
She argues that since the beginning of the 20th Century as the US became an industrial nation it developed what she calls the "Extravert Ideal". She notes that self help books in the 19th Century had stressed the value of "inner virtue". Yet by 1920 the theme of most self help books became "outer charm". She states that Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"became the model for success in business.
Susan Cain questions the commonly held view that extraverts, not introverts, make the best leaders. The answer of course is complicated, and is certainly not an absolute. There have been many excellent leaders that have been characterised as introverts - Rosa Parks, Abraham Lincoln, and Bill Gates to name a few.
She is quick to point out that it is important for businesses around the world to differentiate between those who are outspoken and those who are truly leaders. All too often leadership is seen as the ability to speak well in public, to be persuasive, to be loud. Harvard Business School Professor Quinn Mills, leadership expert, argues that extraverts too often fall prey to a sort of 'winner's curse' in that ego often pushes discussion and decisions in the wrong direction. He believes that extraverts are often more prone to riskier behaviour, and their "decisive" actions can often be less than fully thought out. One CEO is quoted by Cain as stating "We need leaders who build not their own ego, but the institutions around them." Introverted leaders offer an alternative.
This book is worth reading.
Susan Cain has also given a TED Talk. To view this talk - CLICK HERE.
More Thoughts on Introverts
Isabel Myers when she was developing the MBTI estimated that the population of Introverts in the USA was about 25%.
The real number based on the first stratified random sample by the Myers-Briggs organisation in 1998 showed Introverts 50.7% and Extraverts 49.3% of the USA.
A search of Amazon books shows that there are 237 books that have the word "Extrovert" in their title while there are 543 books that contain "Introvert" in their title.
Susan Cain has identified that the model for business success is heavily biased towards an "Extravert Ideal". However it seems from our television shows and movies that our heroes tend to show much more of an "Introvert Ideal".
It becomes apparent that the brooding, quiet, non-expressive type captures our imagination when it comes to dramatic heroes. Look at Stallone's' "Rambo", Clint Eastwood in "Dirty Harry" or the spaghetti westerns, Daniel Craig's "James Bond" or Matt Damon's "Jason Bourne". Any character played by Arnold Schwartzeneger, Steven Seagal, or Jason Statham seems to be a man of few words.
On television we see introverts like Gibbs in "NCIS", all the male leads in "CSI", Benedict Cumberbatch's "Sherlock", and Michael Hall's "Dexter". Most of the superheroes are played as Introverts - Batman, Superman and Spiderman. Even our female heroines are portrayed as Introverts - Uma Thurman in "Kill Bill", Angelina Jolie in "Salt and "Lara Croft", Zoe Saldana in "Columbiana" and Emily VanCamp in "Revenge".
It seems to me that people who prefer Extraversion are only in Dramas to add a comic element.
Susan Cain argues that many of the team processes are designed for Extraverts.
If you need help with your processes that can be effective for both Introvert and Extravert Team Members give us a call....
CONTACT US
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| Myths about Introverts and Extraverts | |
10 Myths About Introverts:
(written by an Introvert)
- Myth #1 - Introverts don't like to talk. This is not true. Introverts just don't talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won't shut up for days.
- Myth #2 - Introverts are shy. Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don't interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don't worry about being polite.
- Myth #3 - Introverts are rude. Introverts often don't see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
- Myth #4 - Introverts don't like people. On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you're in.
- Myth #5 - Introverts don't like to go out in public. Nonsense. Introverts just don't like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don't need to be there for long to "get it." They're ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
- Myth #6 - Introverts always want to be alone. Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don't have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
- Myth #7 - Introverts are weird. Introverts are often individualists. They don't follow the crowd. They'd prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don't make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
- Myth #8 - Introverts are aloof nerds. Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It's not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it's just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
- Myth #9 - Introverts don't know how to relax and have fun. Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
- Myth #10 - Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts. A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot "fix themselves" and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
Jerry Britto
10 Myths About Extraverts:
(written by an Extravert)
- Myth #1 - Extraverts like to talk and can't be silent. It's not so much that we LIKE to talk - but what we DON'T like. Which is awkward silence. This is what occurs when you put a bunch of introverts in a room who don't like making small talk! We like to "break the ice" and talk about anything and everything we can think of, just to avoid the awkwardness of everyone pretending not to be listening or looking at anyone else in the room. If others are talking and there's no awkwardness - we embrace the opportunity to stop brainstorming random and totally unnecessary subjects!
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Myth #2 - Extraverts need to be the center of attention.
Need? No. We simply ARE, due to introverts not talking....er....excuse me...I believe it's refusing to "beat(ing) around the bush with social pleasantries". There we go. Or liking to spend an abundant amount of time in public. We end up being the center of attention by default! - Myth #3 - Extraverts enjoy public speaking. Just because we are comfortable talking to YOU and the person standing next to you (and the next person that comes along), does NOT mean that we have any desire to talk to a room full of people at once. Our level of comfort in verbally communicating with others stops when they actually all stop to listen and do not respond. Must I use the word "awkward" again?
- Myth #4 - Extraverts love meeting people. Though we get our energy from being around others, do not mistake this for wanting to be the designated "new person" greeter. Being shoved towards a person that no one in the room knows is just as uncomfortable for us, as it is for introverts. However - unlike introverts - we don't know how it is possible to make friends WITHOUT first going through the inevitable "small talk" phase that introverts hate so much. So we push through the hesitation and discomfort and just do it. (Think about it, introverts - your closest friends are extroverts who did exactly what you think is unnecessary to do in public, aren't they?? AREN'T they?!)
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Myth #5 - Extraverts don't want to be alone.
How would you know? You only see us when we're around you. :) - Myth #6 - Extraverts have a lot of energy. Trust me on this one. We. do. not. exert. any. energy. at. home. YOU give us energy! Isn't that the biggest compliment in the world? We are ONLY energetic when we are around you! We love getting to know you, and finding out more about you, and spending time with you! Woo-hoo....I'm getting more energy just thinking about thinking about you! It doesn't have to be in big groups, either. Extroverts just enjoy spending time with someone other than themselves.
- Myth #7 - Extraverts don't need time to recharge. Our recharge is faster than your recharge. Not to sound arrogant or anything. Nothing to brag about, really. Well...it kinda is. Do you remember the last time an extrovert excused themselves to the potty? Yep - that's all it takes. Really. We excuse ourselves, head on down to the john, and let everything that's going on sink in. Then we're ready for round 2!
- Myth #8 - Extraverts are not shy. We can be. *buries face in jacket*
- Myth #9 - Extraverts don't have close friends, but a lot of acquaintances. Here's the thing. We are capable of being interested in more than 5 people at one time on a deeper level. However - we still invest the majority of our emotional baggage in a few lucky individuals - just like you introverts do. I just think we prepare ourselves with back-ups in case our emotions get smashed by close friends we shared them with! Who wants to be left all alone when a close friend moves on or away???? Oh. That's right. Introverts do.
- Myth #10 - Extraverts don't care what others think. The biggest myth of them all! Extroverts have self-confidence issues just as you do! When people look at us across the room, we wonder if they're approving our newest clothing ensemble or simply checking out the fresh pimple beside our nose. The difference is - we typically just ask them! I mean, don't introverts "want everyone to just be real and honest"? What better way than to verbally confirm their suspicion??
"The Truth About Sushi" Blog
These examples show how far apart our perceptions can be. If you need help with getting people with different perceptions to work more effectively in your business
give us a call....
CONTACT US
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| How to Care for Introverts/Extraverts |
Below are a couple of images that show that Introverts and Extraverts prefer to be treated in different ways
The key to people working effectively together is:
- Identify our own preferences
- Have a way of understanding others preferences and why they are different
- Armed with this knowledge use strategies to communicate more effectively for the other person
These examples show how our preferences in the way we like to be treated and communicated to differ. We need firstly to understand ourselves and then others to communicate effectively. If you need help with getting people with different preferences to work more effectively in your business
give us a call....
CONTACT US
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| Surveys and Feedback to help people Work Together | |
Matrix Vision is a user of the most powerful and versatile feedback software tool available today.
People need an efficient, confidential and anonymous vehicle for giving feedback to each other. State-of-the-art software can simplify the process of collecting multi-source (360) feedback for anyone in your organisation.
20/20 Insight GOLD is the world's most versatile feedback tool. With this system, we can set up surveys to collect virtually any type of feedback-ideas, opinions, impressions, ratings - from any number of people about the performance of an individual, a team or even your organisation as a whole.organisation.
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POWERFUL Our software contains everything you might need - for everyone involved in the feedback process: - More than 1,200 items in a massive library - easily customised - or we can incorporate your competencies.
- Approximately 300 survey items in leadership categories. Each one has an associated document for the learner that contains:
- What a low rating in this item might mean
- Specific recommendations for improving in this area
- Recommended resources
Ability to not only collect open-ended responses at the end of the survey but also get optional explanatory comments for each item rated, providing extraordinary coaching and personal growth material. Dozens of powerful reports can be generated. Compare previous to current results to measure improvements. Produce consolidated reports with summary data for the entire organisation. A 31 page booklet and online performance analysis tool for each feedback recipient to help them create and implement a personal development plan. CUSTOMISABLE AND FLEXIBLE We can tailor almost any aspect of a feedback project - add your competencies, use or modify ours - or any combination. With this unprecedented flexibility, we can provide many different types of surveys for your organisation. A few examples: - All "soft-skills" training to provide a baseline of behaviours, feedback to participants and measurable results to management
- Leadership and individual skill development
- Needs analysis
- Team and organisational effectiveness
- Climate surveys and customer feedback
EXPERT SERVICE Feedback is one of our specialities. We have the experience and expertise to handle all your feedback and survey administration needs. We take time to find out exactly what you need, and we create the survey according to your specifications. - Save valuable internal staff time for other priorities
- Get efficient and very cost effective services
- Relax, knowing that all feedback is kept confidential and stored securely off-site
- Make it easy and fast for participants with an internet connection to access their assessments from anywhere in the world.
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Feedback surveys can be used to help people understand each other. This is the basis of our ability to successfully communicate with each other. Sometimes we are unaware of the impact of our behaviour on others and on the team
Whether it be a Team Effectiveness Survey to determine what is going well and what is getting in way of team achievement or a complete 360 degree feedback to see the total perception of all the people who impact on your success and you on theirs we can help you be providing all your survey needs.
To learn more about the power of 20/20 Insight Gold click on the image.
To talk with us about how you can use feedback to help improve your organisation, please
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The theme of our next newsletter will be "Working Together".
All the Best,
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Barry McMaster
Matrix Vision Pty Limited
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