Ever wish you were better at getting people  to do what you want? You can be. All it takes is practice and desire.

I know this from experience. When I first got involved in the American Society of Journalists and Authors, I quickly learned a few things about freelance writers. They're (mostly) brilliant. They're creative and articulate, accustomed to living literally by their wits. But for the most part, they are not joiners. They're self-motivated, self-directed, and not inclined to go with the flow (or else they'd be working in an office somewhere). They're individualistic, and can be cantankerous. And here I was, trying to get them to follow my lead.

My first initiative was an internal market to match volunteers with volunteer jobs. It didn't go well. The people giving out jobs either didn't want new volunteers or didn't want to put their jobs in my market. They didn't want to hear from me or the volunteers I'd recruited. Despite my best efforts, the project fizzled out. I couldn't figure out how to sway them.

It's been 15 years since then and I'm now president of ASJA which is a job that still in large part consists of asking freelance writers to follow my lead. And sometimes to set aside their strongly held opinions for the good of the organization. I couldn't do it if I hadn't learned a few things over the years about how to get people on my side:

1. Spend lots of time listening.

2. Ask lots of questions.

Not only because everyone wants to be listened to. Careful questioning will help you determine what people really want, which is often different from what they say they want. It will also tell you what they have to offer.