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During a storm at sea, the water ten feet below the trough of the highest wave is perfectly calm. We live most of our lives at the surface. The waves. The stillness lies only ten feet down. Margaret SilfNot all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love. Mother TeresaWhat I can't do is lay here and watch you mourn for a life you think you should have had. Mark Spragg (An Unfinished Life)
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Defiance is the story of the Bielski brothers; Tuvye, Zus and Asael. In 1941 the Nazi juggernaut marched east, overrunning Belorussia (modern day Belarus). German soldiers shot and killed members of the Bielski family, and thousands of Jews were being corralled into ghettoes where (as we now know) only death and starvation awaited them.
The Bielski brothers chose to resist.
Proactive in their resistance, they escaped deep into the forests of Belorussia, where they founded a secret and mobile settlement.
For three years they endured the "impossible" task of foraging for food and weapons for their survival. They lived, not only with the fear of discovery, but contending with neighboring Soviet partisans. Who do you trust when you have the responsibility of those evading the German war machine? Refugees--women, men, children, the elderly and the young--continued to join them, all now hiding in makeshift "homes" in the dark, cold and unforgiving forests of German occupied Eastern Europe. During this time, their number swelled to 1,200. Translated, that means 1,200 Jews saved from certain death. As time passed, their numbers continued to multiply.
I do not pretend to fully comprehend the atrocity, or their suffering.
But I am inspired by this story
, because it is a story about men and women with the courage to choose to live, in the face of gravity, bleakness, and burden. With no real chance of survival, they do, somehow, survive.
At its heart this is a story about people who sought out safe haven. (In one of the conflicts between the brothers, Tuvye believes that they must welcome anyone who wants to join them, while Zus thinks they should be expending their energy fighting the Germans.)
But here's the deal: A safe haven is not without risk or peril or chance. Who knows what will happen? What makes this a safe haven is that their well-being or welfare is not in the "place," but in the affirmation from making a grounded choice.
Let me try it this way...
They chose.
But their choice is not just creedal. Or cerebral.
Their choice is not just about being right or correct.
Their choice is--in poker parlance--about being "all in." In other words, the choice begins with this deposit, "I am invested here. And I don't even know where this will take me. Regardless, I am invested here."
When it comes to choices of any magnitude, we put our own American spin on it. We choose only in order that our endeavors are proven to be productive or justifiable or profitable. (Maybe Yogi Berra's version about choosing is better, "I came to a fork in the woods. And I took it.")
There is a scene in Defiance -- near the beginning of the story -- when the people of the city are still uncertain of their fate. They did not yet perceive the strength of Nazi resolve or the Nazi's malevolent intentions. Nor did they know of the darkness that faced them all.
The brothers are hoping to persuade a group of Jews to join them on this trek into the woods.
"But how shall we all live?" Asked one elder, quite prudently. "Why not just stay here, where at least it is safe?"
One of the brothers answers, "Yes. You may stay here. And we don't know what will happen here. But we do know this; if you come with us, you will live today."
Yes.
When you are "all in," that is all we have.
This moment.
This day.
This community.
We don't have tomorrow. And we don't have yesterday. Not that I blame the people for asking the question. Why not stay here? Indeed. Even in the chaos, why not stay in the comfort of what we know. It's easier. Less demanding. Less trying.
In my life (truth be told), I have "stayed," more often than I wish to admit. And that's where the Defiance story hits me. I don't wish to be "all in," or to try my fate in the woods, because somehow, I wish to be prepared for all of life's eventualities. I want certainty. Assurance. Security.
My friend is an avid follower of Mayan anthropology and culture. He has been a member of an organization for Mayan studies. However, this past year, the organization decided to become, "professionals" only. In other words, "No more amateurs." So. My friend is out. Which begs the question? Professional by virtue of degree, or diploma, or pedigree? They have certainly missed the point, haven't they? I'm thinking by a country mile.
Amateur (lest we forget) is from the French, translating, "for the love of." In other words, someone who is "all in."
How easy it can be to wear a veneer (whether from guilt or need for perfection or pretense of professionalism) that prevents choice... the choice to be free, if only for one day. This day.
Defiance is not just about opposition. It is about living from the heart, knowing that every day of freedom is an act of faith. It happens when I am willing to say, "I am invested here. Without any guarantee about what will happen."
So. My question? At what point do I literally embody my life, my beliefs, my faith, and my love?
Speaking of no holds barred... a full moon bathes the landscape tonight from a cloudless sky. The lawn and garden are rendered in Sepia tone. I had more I wanted to write, but it can wait as I have something I need to attend to on the patio. It's not often, in this neck of the woods, to savor a glass of wine under the blessing of full moon.
May I live this day compassionate of heart, clear in word, gracious in awareness, courageous in thought, generous in love. John O'Donohue
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Poems and Prayers
Nothing is more practical than
finding God, that is, than
FALLING IN LOVE
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with
what seizes your imagination,
will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed
in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, who you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with
joy and gratitude.
Fall in love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.
Pedro Arrupe, SJ
Eternal lover of Thy children,
bring us into Thy life,
make us sharers in Thy love
and transmitters of it.
Help us to become serene and patient
in the midst of our frustrations,
but at the same time
make us heroic adventurers,
brave, gentle, tender,
but without fear
and with radiant faces.
Rufus Jones, Quaker (1863-1948)
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Notes from Terry
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