If one more person sends me the link for the "2 Minute Hagaddah: A Passover Service for the Impatient", I will "unfriend" them on Facebook.
Okay, I won't unfriend them but they won't get so much as a thumbs up.
Okay, a thumbs up but no comment.
Okay, they will be on double secret probation.
What do I have against the "2 Minute Hagaddah" other than it is a clever way to go through all the steps of the Seder? Because I prepared my own "2 Minute Haggaddah" this year.
Mine's better.
Want to see it?
The "2 Minute Hagaddah" is clever, but it is nothing more than just a quick summary of the riitual steps we do before the Seder meal. But what does the Seder night actually mean for this generation? What does this, admittedly, onerous meal of unleavened bread, bitter herbs and dishes that my gastroenterologist would require a warning label on, say to us today?
Well, do as many or as a few rituals as you desire (we go heavy on that at our home, naturally) but if you want a 2 Minute Seder that might have something a little deeper to offer before you eat, here is my "2 Minute Seder". It might be all you need to say this Friday night:
"We are here tonight, as our ancestors long ago, gathered around this table to remind ourselves that the Jewish people live. Through slavery and liberation, exile and freedom, we have survived. We are a remarkable people, kings and priests, persecuted and victims. Nations have risen and fallen; we have outlived them all. We eat matzah and bitter herbs tonight because these have been our companion foods through the liberation and the bitterness. To remind us that, to quote Mark Twain, our history does not necessarily repeat but it often rhymes. These "comfort" foods, unique to our people on this night, have traveled with us in our backpacks of broken dreams, by foot through the wilderness, by boat to promised lands and back again to our blessed soil.
"We are here tonight because we are a people connected to each other with unique practices and custom. We dip, recline, create a sandwich, and spill drops of wine at designated times. We now also place cinnamon sticks, leeks, sugar cubes, and even an orange on our table. Traditions, old and just beginning. We have bonded together, speaking with our ancestors, by using a common universal language called ritual. Crossing borders and transcending cultures, rituals have translated our conversations into a timeless language and allowed us to touch our past and frame our present. And tonight, we begin another conversation that we hope will be carried by future fellow Jewish travelers.
"And we are here tonight because throughout this all, the Jew has reached out to G-d. G-d, intimately close for some, infinitely distant for others, has been the unique Voice that has shaped each of our people's events. Whether thanking G-d for our salvation, crying out in vain for help, or railing against the L-rd for continued indifference, the Jewish people have found themselves struggling with and embracing the unique bond we share with our Creator. To paraphrase Elie Wiesel, in the labor pits of Egypt and at the foot of Mt. Sinai, at the fall of Jerusalem and at the rise of the modern Jewish State, the Jew has loved G-d, hated G-d but never seems to ignore G-d.
"So, we are here to celebrate our glorious people by speaking with past generations and preparing the next one through the language of ritual. And here with us tonight, we welcome the Divine Presence that has traveled with us and brought us to this day.
May this night be different from all other nights!"