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Happy Father's Day to our Angels Dads!
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Father, Dad, Pop, Daddy, Papa and more - many names for the same essential person in each child's life. Just as special as the names and nicknames often are, so are the fathers with their different life experiences, varying parenting philosophies and unique relationships with their children. We know that involved and responsible fathers who are present in the lives of their children contribute to positive outcomes for kids, families, and whole communities. Current research clearly shows that involved fathers provide practical support in raising children and serve as models for their development. Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior compared to children who have uninvolved fathers. Committed and responsible fathering during infancy and early childhood contributes to emotional security, curiosity, and math and verbal skills.
With young children in foster care who have often experienced disrupted, tumultuous, or even absent relationships with their parents, this need for involved parenting is even more crucial. Angels fathers give the gifts of their hearts and of themselves to their children, those who will be part of their life forever and those whose time is limited. They give because their focus is what is best for the child, not what is easiest for them. They love, guide, and take risks so that each child can experience and feel a father's love and support.
Thank you to all our fathers!
Jennifer Mills, LCSW
Clinical Director, Angels Foster Care
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The Herrick Family
Jay and Angi and their three children have grown to a family of five after welcoming two young girls into their family through Angels Foster Care. It has truly been a family affair since Devin,
Cagney and Elijah have played an important role in caring for their Angels sisters, learning first hand how to convey patience, tenderness and love with their little siblings. Meah, who joined the family in 2012 and was adopted in 2014, is outgoing, creative and energetic. When she first came to the Herrick family, Meah was more comfortable in a car seat than in their arms. But over time with the family's
love and support, she learned to enjoy being held and making eye contact, Now she is well spoken and never afraid to give her opinion. She loves to play dress-up and pretend, often taking on pirate, cowgirl, doctor and princess roles. She takes ballet and tap classes. Confident and bold, Meah's smile lights up a room. Angi says one day she could be a doctor or even president!
In 2014, the Herricks welcomed baby Natalie to their family. Angi characterizes Natalie as their little ray of sunshine who is sweet, joyful and always ready for a cuddle. Natalie's favorite things include kitty cats, music and the song "Row, row, row your boat." In recent weeks, Natalie's adoption was finalized and the Herrick family was able to embrace her as a permanent member.
Angi and Jay describe their motivation to become Angels parents as a love for babies and a desire to provide a safe and stable place for children to stay until they could be reunited with their families. The most meaningful part of their experience has been watching the growth and changes in their Angels children, and how they have overcome unique sets of challenges to blossom.
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Thank you to Rusty and Rebecca and Kiel and Matt of North Santa Barbara County for completing their certification in the past month. We'd like to express our thanks to Angels parents Heidi and TJ of South Santa Barbara County, who also completed certification and recently welcomed a toddler boy.
We're happy to report two adoptions in recent weeks: congratulations to Angi and Jay and their family of North Santa Barbara County for welcoming Natalie, and Greta and Benji and their family of South Santa Barbara County for welcoming Isaac.
Angels would like to recognize the amazing efforts of Mandy and Eric of North Santa Barbara County as our Foster Parents of the Month. We are very grateful for the time you spend as foster parents, and for the love and support you have given to young children who need you.
The 1st Annual Glitter Dash was a great success! Over 100 runners and walkers of all ages joined us on a beautiful morning to enjoy a great run around the peaceful and idyllic Glitter Dash route. Many of our Angels families were present to celebrate Foster Care Awareness Month but also many other friends, neighbors and members of our community joined us in this unique event. Special thanks to the wonderful committee that helped put this event together--Nick Salvesen, Julie Bond, and Deborah Johnson as well as the helpful volunteers from Orcutt Academy High School and St. Joseph High School. We look forward to this event next year so mark your calendars for May 2017!
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| | The Glitter Dash Winner for 2016! |
We want to especially thank the wonderful sponsors who helped underwrite this event:
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Santa Maria Sunrisers Lions Club
5th Annual Nate Lipscomb Memorial Golf Tournament
Saturday, June 18th 2016 10 am
Monarch Dunes Golf Course
Join golfers from around the Central Coast in a fun day on a beautiful course for a chance to win prizes and awards AND know you are supporting Angels Foster Care. Proceeds from this tournament will be donated to Angels Foster Care. SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES are available. If you or your business would like to participate as a sponsor--foursomes are included in most sponsorship levels--contact Kelly White O'Neill. Click here for golf tournament details and to download a registration form.
Annual Angels Foster Family Picnic Saturday, September 24th, 3-6pm (*note time change)
Hans Christian Andersen Park, Solvang Calling all Angels to join us for our annual family gathering with food, fun, and time to visit with friends new and old. Thanks to the generous donation of a wonderful BBQ by the Kiwanis Club of the South Coast, we can offer a family friendly afternoon of good food and camaraderie. We look forward to seeing you and will update you with details as they are confirmed.
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The importance of the father-infant relationship
When fathers are engaged in taking care of their infants, the positive results are clear. Babies become more securely attached to their fathers, are more resilient and curious, and they are more confident to branch out and explore. One study that looked at 3-year-olds found that when
fathers participated in their childcare, their social development benefited. Another administered tests of empathy to grade school children and found that those who had had secure attachments to their fathers as babies were better able to identify other children's feelings, and to take steps to make them feel better.
Here are some ways fathers (and all parents) can create attachment with their infants:
- Pay attention to their cues, and respond consistently and compassionately.
- Keep them physically close. Baby-wearing is a perfect way to use physical closeness to promote feelings of safety and security.
- Talk, read, and sing to your baby. Even if she's too young to understand what you're saying, she'll learn to be comforted by your voice.
- Play with your baby in an age-appropriate way (peekaboo, for instance).
Once babies are old enough to play with their fathers, the relationship can really begin to bloom. Mothers and fathers both play with their children, but generally they have different play styles (again, this is not true across the board). Mothers tend to interact with their children using more soothing voices and repetitive rhythms. Fathers, on the other hand, tend to be more stimulating in their play styles. They also tend to spend a greater proportion of their time with their kids playing. Play is an important way in which fathers can become important and meaningful figures in their kids' lives.
This play isn't only for entertainment. When young children play with their parents, they are figuring out the world and beginning to understand how to relate to others. They learn about limits and boundaries, while also developing problem-solving skills. Not only that, but play also allows toddlers to experience a range of emotions, such as happiness, frustration, and excitement. It gives them the opportunity to practice feeling and regulating these emotions in the context of a safe, trusted, and attached relationship. These skills developed in toddlerhood carry through to later life.
As kids get older, father involvement helps them live more satisfied lives with less depression, emotional distress, and negative feelings like fear and guilt. Kids with involved fathers also say they're happier and less anxious. They have better relationships with their siblings and peers. Their relationships are less negative, more generous, and fraught with less conflict. On the other hand, negative or hostile relationships with fathers can result in negative social behavior and difficult peer relationships.
As young adults, people who had nurturing and available fathers tend to be better adjusted, dependable, and friendly, and they report higher levels of self-acceptance. They're more tolerant and understanding and have more supportive, long-term, close friendships. Father-child relationships even affect a person's future marriage. People who had involved fathers are more likely to have long-term, successful marriage and less divorce. In fact, the quality of the father-child relationship is the single variable that is most consistently linked to positive life outcomes. It's also the most important predictor of empathy in children and adults.
Involved fathers can help improve positive outcomes for kids, so it makes sense that they can also help prevent negative behaviors. Some of the most common - and troubling - problems of childhood and adolescence diminish when fathers take an active role in their children's lives. In children, feeling close to a father and frequently doing things with him can cut risk of antisocial behavior, hyperactivity, and behavior problems. It also prevents bullying and may help buffer kids from becoming victims. For preschoolers with behavior challenges, a father's involvement can help prevent those problems from showing up in grade school.
An involved father is one who is engaged, available, and responsible. He is sensitive and supportive, nurturing and affectionate, and comforting and accepting. Involved fathers are strongly attached to their children. These fathers bolster their children's cognitive development beginning in infancy and lasting through adolescence and teenage years. They provide their children with critical thinking, motivation, communication skills, and independence that will benefit them throughout their lifetimes.
- Adapted from The Importance of Dads: Expert Findings About Involved Fathers by Dierdre Bell (Boba.com).
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Visit our web site for full details on requirements, training, support and adoption. Now is a great time to begin the process in order to take advantage of our Fall Foster Parent Training Series. Note that pre-screening and certain paperwork are required before prospective foster parents may enroll in parent training classes. Please contact Angels as soon as you are ready to begin the process. If you can't foster, please consider a donation.
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Volunteers Needed!
As we celebrate our 10th Anniversary throughout 2016, Angels Foster Care has a number of events and activities to celebrate this milestone and shed light on the issue of foster care in our County. Volunteers are needed throughout the year for various activities and events. If you have time, talent, or any resources you can share, please contact us and we can let you know how you, your club, your church, or your group of friends or family can help! In North County contact Kelly or in Santa Barbara, contact Ellen. You can always give us a call at (805) 884-0012.
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