As parents, we strive to be prepared for all foreseen and unforeseen events that we may encounter with our children. We ensure our homes are free of hazards, stock up on first aid supplies, have continued talks over time about bike/house/internet/personal/community safety with our children. We read books, articles, blogs and scour the web (maybe too much?). We formulate family emergency plans and

 run through drills. We practice vigilance often that exceeds what is needed so our children don't have to and can be blissfully unaware. Most of the time, things go smoothly.  However, when there is an unplanned turn or a full scale emergency, feeling somewhat prepared does help.  

Foster parents do all of the above with the addition of First Aid/CPR certification, foster parenting classes, fingerprinting, and safety checking their homes that almost exceed OSHA standards, to just name a few. They too hope to be prepared for welcoming a little one into their homes. 

Being prepared often does focus on environmental and physical readiness - having supplies and plans and ensuring safety.  However, I think the deeper level of preparedness when parenting and fostering - emotional readiness - is so much more important and vital to the whole experience.  What does emotional readiness look like in fostering?  How do couples and/or families prepare for what an unknown child may need emotionally to heal and thrive?

Now having not fostered myself, I'm relying on what I have heard and seen the past seven years from Angels families. I'm not sure I can exactly define it, but here is my attempt to create a "foster parent preparedness kit", something to start building before fostering and then hopefully fall back upon when things are rocky (which they can get at times):

• Clarity on your motivation for fostering, making sure to work through any personal loss or trauma history prior to fostering;
• Mutual commitment from all family members to the fostering experience;
• Unwavering support from at least few friends and family members to be your "lifeline" when needed (and recognition that some may just not understand);
• Wisdom to know you will need help at times and to reach out when those times come;
• Self-awareness of how you tolerate unknowns in your life and what helps you cope when things feel out of your control;
• Solid foundation of knowledge of the foster care system, what children have experienced in regards to neglect and trauma, and how it will impact them (and what it will look like in their behaviors);
• Patient and compassionate mindset, most of the time (no one expects perfection though!);
• Ways to get breaks, whether for an hour or a few days;
• Other people in your life who are or have fostered - how wonderful to "speak" the same language with someone;
• A spirit of flexibility and cooperation, while knowing that teamwork can be challenging;
• Downtime for all family members away from all the busyness the foster care system brings;
• Family routines that are well-crafted and intentional;
• Support of caring professionals committed to the well-being of your foster child AND your family;
• Ways to celebrate all achievements - little to large;
• Chocolate (okay, that would be my preference...feel free to add your own tasty tidbit here). 

There is obviously much to consider and a huge commitment to readiness and what comes after from our Angels parents.  Even more reason why then that we so greatly appreciate all they contribute and the purposeful manner in which they do so!

Jennifer Mills, LCSW

Newly Certified Families - welcome to Brad and Cynthia of South Santa Barbara County.

New Placements:  none to report this month. 

Recent Adoptions: congratulations to Ken and Melanie and their entire family for their adoption of Noble this week! 

Seeking Advisors to Help with North County Outreach and Development

Support Angels far into the future and provide financial stability to the agency as the fund grows and pays out profits annually to support Angels' work. Our goal this year is to bring in $50,000 to qualify us for matching funds. Make a personal contribution, have your business donate a portion of sales or host a small gathering to secure further contributions. Contact Executive Director Meichelle Arntz to get started!

Staff Contacts

Angels Foster Care

3905 State St., #7-115

Santa Barbara, CA  93105

phone: (805) 884-0012 

fax: (805) 884-0177 - fax