Being a foster parent involves many "unknowns" - from when a child will come into your home, to how long the child will be in your care, to what the child experienced prior to coming to you.  Whether you begin caring for your foster child immediately after birth or later in the child's life, it can feel a bit like unraveling a mystery as you get to know your foster child and his or her temperament and coping skills.  Depending on the child and the child's experience, there may be some behaviors or reactions that you feel confused or challenged by in caring for your foster child (or your biological child!).  Some children are simply more sensitive than others, to situations, events, or even sensory experiences.  Elaine Aron, PhD, is a psychologist from Pacifica Graduate Institute in SB who specializes in helping highly sensitive children and adults thrive.  Her book, The Highly Sensitive Child, can be a great resource for understanding and parenting a child who may need a little extra care and attention.  You can read more about it here: http://hsperson.com/pages/child.htm.

This article, based on Dr. Aron's approach, includes some helpful tips in caring for a sensitive child:

The Highly Sensitive Child

"... it is primarily parenting that decides whether the expression of sensitivity will be an advantage or a source of anxiety."  - Elaine Aron, PhD

Does your child want all the tags pulled out from her shirts? Or enjoy quiet play more than big and noisy groups? Does she seem to read your mind? Or ask lots of questions? Is she incredibly perceptive noticing all these minor details of life? Perhaps she has even been labeled as "shy" or "highly emotional" by someone close to her. If you answered yes to any of the above you may be raising a highly sensitive child - and yes, this is a great thing.

As a former highly sensitive child, I personally relate to Elaine Aron's description of the highly sensitive child. She states a "highly sensitive child is one of the fifteen to twenty percent of children born with a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react to everything." Such children are incredibly responsive to their environments whether it is the lighting, sounds, smells or overall mood of the people in their situations - these kids pick it up. Take Dr. Aron's test to "see" if you are raising a highly sensitive child. For more information, read the entire article.

- Betsy

Santa Barbara County Foster Care

Stats & Facts

(reported from most recent data available (2011), Center for Social Services Research, UC Berkeley/CDSS)

90

Current number of children aged 2 and under in Santa Barbara County's dependency system

75

Number of children aged 2 and under who entered foster care during the most recent reporting year

10.7 months

Median time in foster care for children aged 0-11 months

18.6 months

Median time in foster care for children 1-2 years

2.3 months

Median time until reunification for children 0-11 months*

9.9 months

Median time until reunification for children 1-2 years 

* note sample size is very small

"Affirming words from moms and dads are like light switches. Speak a word of affirmation at the right moment in a child's life and it's like lighting up a whole roomful of possibilities."
 

- Gary Smalley