We pray blessings on your family and your ministry.  We ask our Father in heaven to surround you with favor as a shield and that you will know that the steps of the righteous are ordered.  You are His choice servants  - never forget it.  He loves you for you.  He made you for this time and for His purpose. 

 

Be blessed my dear friend as you run into "The Safe Place."

Diane Nix

 

I thought "Well, after all: my husband and I are here because God put us here; we are serving Him. We are walking in obedience! How can this be happening?"  Do you remember when you began discovering that ministry is unfair? When my husband first began his education, we lived "on campus". Our children were ages five and seven. I remember thinking, "Wow, won't this be a wonderful place - Christian families, other nice children for mine to play with, wonderful new friends . . ." I assumed others were as dedicated to God as I thought we were. I assumed they were as thrilled to be part of ministry as I was thrilled. I just knew that we would all live on some lofty plane where difficulty could rarely find us." To top that off, I thought about that special time, when I could live in a parsonage, or be a minister's wife full time, THEN other ministerial couples would surround us with joy, and welcome us to the area.  Boy, was I in for a surprise.  When I found myself in a new location, few friends, and no way to meet other minister's wives, I sought out a seasoned professor for his counsel. I remember one profound thing he said, "My dear, are you just now discovering all this?" I had a lot to learn. Disappointment was around the corner.
 
I looked forward to times of sharing my Christian journey, and special things God was teaching others. When I shared something however, I felt the responses implied, "Did you just now learn this?" or with encountered attitudes that said "You must think you're really something special huh!" How I longed for the fellowship of other leaders who must be learning just as I was. I could not put it into words then, but have come to discover leadership is somewhat a singular journey. Yes, we need encouragement from our husbands, our pastors, our friends, but we must learn to run to that uniquely safe place only God provides. Ministry life seems to have its own unique pain that is hard to describe unless it's with others who live there too - and He does!  Stressful times do accompany serving the Lord, and manifest through people - - yep, fallible Christian people. Seminary classes often do not prepare us for these real life situations with people we serve and even less about those we serve along side.
 
I met women who moved across America with their husbands, following God's call. I met others that mourned every day because they had to leave a beautiful home, or now lived far from their extended family. I met some who reflected more about where they came from than about where they now lived. I saw women fearful and lonely, and some so bound with their own false expectations, that their burdens seemed palpable. Thinking back, what would I tell a woman new to ministry? How might I encourage her that God sees and knows her needs, and life will be o.k.?
 
As helpers for our minister husbands, we tend to assume his cares, and we suffer when he is treated unfairly. Sometimes we long to set the record straight and tell people exactly how to correct this situation, in our humble, honest opinion. Nevertheless, once the anger is over, and the dust settles, the pain in your heart may still be unrelenting. Where does a minister's wife GO when she needs a safe place to run? Is there a safe place? Is there a safe person? Where can we gain encouragement for disappointments and discouragement? Is it possible not to be sour, sarcastic, or calloused?
 
Scripture tells us about such a place, that this place is really a person. Psalm 46:1 says God IS our refuge, and our strength, and a very present help in time of trouble. Refuge is not a term we use routinely. What does refuge in God offer? If God is our refuge, just what is a refuge? Definitions include:  
God says He is our hiding place. [When our earthly family lives in another city or state, or painful things have touched our heart.] He is our security. [Do you fondly think about all the money or "things" you left to respond to God's call? Make a new list - a new category: "where moth and rust do not corrupt, and thieves do not break through and steal"-eternal things] Look at Isaiah 37:14-17. Hezekiah laid all the details before the Lord. He reminded God of all the ways people were out to harm him, and sought God's intervention and help. He went to the safe place. "O Lord of Hosts, God of Israel, the One who . . . You are God, You alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth."  He addressed the only safe and powerful One. Hezekiah concluded his prayer by saying, "that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that You are the Lord, You alone."[vs.20]
 
As I read this passage, I see the phrases repeated three times-God knows we are hard to convince! Psalm repeats that God IS our refuge, He IS our strength, and He IS with us. The Lord of all the angels and the heavens, the Lord of all creation, IS with us. He is not along side of us, or merely going before or behind us: he is with us.  He is our sanctuary.
 
One of my heroines is Corrie ten Boom. There were times in her life when she desperately needed a sanctuary; she needed a refuge.  In her book The Hiding Place, Corrie told how she and her sister Betsy were forced to live in awful barracks, crowded with other women prisoners. She graphically told about all the fleas that infested their sleeping quarters, and how the prison guards would not even step into their barracks because of the awful flea infestation. [Ever been exposed to a flea infestation? One summer my daughter served as a camp counselor for many weeks so we shut off her bedroom while she was gone. One day I went in there, and suddenly the calves of my legs were covered with jumping black specs. Fleas!! Did I ever make a quick phone call to the exterminator!]
 
The fleas in those crowded barracks did not go away. I am sure Corrie and all the women scratched relentlessly. However, God used those awful little bugs to create a refuge. Yes, He made a refuge and a sanctuary, protected by living jumping little black insects. Their barracks became a place of safety-where it was safe to pray and to share Bible study. It was a sanctuary away from the Nazi guards who would not enter to bother them. God used fleas as a "very present help in trouble."
 
Deuteronomy 33:26-27a says, "There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides the heavens to help you, and in His Excellency on the clouds.  The eternal God IS your refuge, and underneath is the everlasting arms... and verse 28b "the Lord is the shield that guards you."NKJV
 
Our Father wants us to know Him, and to understand He is our safe person. He is the safe place to go and tell all the ugly details. He is ever present to help and to uphold us.
Do you sing the chorus, "There is none like You, no one else can touch my heart like You do . . ." That is SO right: He rides the heavens to help you. The clouds display His Excellency and glory. Look at the sky full of clouds - - there is no end to the horizon - - we are only limited by what we are able to see!  I pray God will help me see Him, and when I look at the beauty of the sky, cause me to remember the clouds display His Excellency.  I pray for you too!
 
Contagious Joy exists to facilitate friendships and support among wives of ministers. Tell us how God encourages you. Tell us how God manifests Himself so you know. Tell us your stories of victory and safety. Tell us about your safe place. :)

[1] Funk & Wagnalls Standard College Dictionary.  
[2] S.I.Hayakawa. Use The Right Word, Modern Guide to Synonyms. Montreal.