On October 5th, 2014 The Grandmothers' Circle: The Four Shields of Elderhood for Women was offered through the School of Lost Borders. The dreaming and manifestation of this project took some time, yet with many no's and a few doubts I persisted. I was determined to do this if it was the last thing I do in my guiding career.

 

"Old age is no place for sissies", Bette Davis once said. Nearly 20 years into my own eldering, I realized she was right. "Hold on to your seats," Bette also said, "it's going to be a bumpy ride". If I had not faced this elderhood business head on with my eyes wide opened, it would not have been a bumpy ride as much as an unconscious glide through old age.

 

Over the years of exploring the edges of this uncharted territory I became intimately familiar with the 'bumps' and curves of this extraordinary landscape and came to view this journey as an opportunity of a life time and a clearing for new possibilities. I have met inspiring elders and teachers who gave me the courage and support to move forward into elderhood with grace and dignity. But I was also hit with the unpleasant reality that many aging men and women often struggle to hold on to old beliefs that may no longer be working, leaving some miserable and afraid. More frightening and disheartening, many are simply disappearing into old age like a faded memory, forgotten by the world.

 

 

I began to wonder and to dream of ways I could serve this population. My own time of surrendering my role as a vision fast guide to the young up starts is closing in and soon to give way to whatever is next in my life. The thought of creating an offering for elders awakened in me a new passion and I came alive with a renewed hope and creativity. Perhaps the 'next' in my life was now giving me a nudge. After nearly four years, from inception through gestation and to its cracking open, it came time to embody the dream.  With my friend and co- guide, Sara Harris, The Grandmothers' Circle was called.

 

  On October 4th, 2015 ten remarkable women showed up at Baker Creek Campground in Big Pine California in the middle of a storm wet and tired from traveling but glowing and smiling. Exhausted, wet and muddy we happily greeted each one of the women and assisted them in quickly putting up their tents. That afternoon we had our first welcome/handshake circle followed by a simple, hot meal that was prepared for us by our two young assistants, Jessica and Michelle. All of us thankfully retired early. This is one of many perks of being an elder, we can retire early.

 

"Did we actually do this?" Sara and I asked ourselves at the day's end. "Is this really happening?" Well it was really happening and yes we actually did do this.

The next day we began what was to be the most incredible and inspiring week, filled with rich stories and profound experiences.

 

The truth is these ten trusting, courageous women are the ones who made this all happen. The guides and assistants happily held the seat of privilege and honor of witnesses and holding this circle of elders.  All the wisdom that emerged throughout the week looked not grandiose nor magnificent, but pure, simple and authentic.

 

As simple as taking the path less travelled, making pain your strength or reaching for the stars, or coming face to face with the healer within or loving the beauty of an aging face, finding a new kind of fertility or stepping up to take your place in the world, steeping in deer medicine or finding inspiration in the written word, holding both the profound and ordinary, or being enough, carrying humor as medicine or asking for what you need, being the greatest grandmother ever, or finding the source within yourself, being completely honest, or finding joy and play in the presence of horses or being in the ecstatic bliss of timelessness.

 

For me, it also means wearing our grief, losses and disappointments like exquisite pearls around our neck. It means we cry tears of pain and joy so that things feel real. It means growing down and rooted so we are able to withstand the storms of adversity with courage and strength so that we may continue to move forward in our lives with grace and dignity. It means we listen to the cravings of the young people for guidance and recognition. It means we make compassion our religion and maintain the strong back of equanimity.

 

As a guide and an elder in the experience of sitting among others like myself I was reminded this journey of growing older also means growing. There is still so much to discover as I explore my deepest self, and continue to trust the source I find within.   This journey is a continuous and unfolding mystery to which I find myself surrendering.

 

 I will continue to support women moving through elderhood and continue to remind them and myself how important we are to society and this world now more than ever. We carry the ancestral stories in our bones; we are like human libraries filled with volumes of history. We have the opportunity to leave our legacy of gifts, knowledge and the wisdom of a lived life for seven generations.

It also begs the question "How can I show my gratitude for the gift of years and what ways can I give back?"

 

My hope is that this offering, now being renamed, The Elder's Journey: Four Shields of Eldering for Women will continue to serve women who are moving through elderhood. Women who are willing to walk the path less travelled and claim the journey into elderhood with a new awareness and intention, and ready themselves to step into their becoming the elders this world needs.

 

My deepest gratitude to Sara, also to our  wonderful assistants, Jessica and Michelle who worked with such heart and generosity, taking care of all the elders, while seeing and honoring the elder wisdom that was then revealed.

 

                  Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door. 

                                                                         Emily Dickinson