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Branching Out: The Queer Fast By Pedro McMillan
In the Grateful Dead song 'Cassidy' you hear the lines:
"What you are And what you're meant to be"
When these two things come together, there is a wholeness in a person that is both felt and seen. This wholeness is our natural state, our birthright.
In today's culture, being 'queer' (identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or intersexed) is more acceptable than at any time in history. Even so, there is still a divide that inhibits. "Should I come out to this person?", "When is a good time to talk about my identity?", "Who am I as a sexual being?". Anyone who carries a secret knows what this is like. Who is open or not. You never know who will be accepting and supportive and who may be offended. Who simply doesn't understand and says hurtful things without thinking or who needs education around the issues involved. So 'who you are and who you're meant to be' have to be put on hold.
When it comes to a vision fast, many queer people have no issue participating, but the issue of their gender or sexual identity may be a piece they hold back, at least until safety and a supportive environment are clear. Once out, there is a great opportunity for healing both for the queer participant and the others in the circle. Yet, it's this hesitation, and this obstacle to overcome that is simply there for the queer participant, even if they come to deal with other issues or claim unrelated gifts.
This is why I think it was so important for the School to offer the LGBTQ Fast, now simply called the Queer Fast. The first Queer Fast was recently held in Colorado and it quickly became clear to everyone involved that this offering was needed and special.
When we all arrived at Dragonback Springs Ranch, the safe and supportive environment around orientation and identity was a given. No one had to explain or defend who they are or who they are meant to be. We simply were ourselves in sacred time and space, maybe for the first time in our lives. We can be ourselves in a lot of places, but it's incredibly rare to be ourselves in sacred time and space. The discussions about gender identity and being lesbian or gay or bisexual were deep and thoughtful. Barriers within the queer community fell and the healing went deep into our beings. This was good and needed stuff!
When we decided to offer this fast to the LGBTQ community, we had no idea who or what would come. We didn't know how it would be to have such a diverse group of people, including ourselves as guides, that are all part of a larger community that has often had struggles accepting each other. The divisions within the queer community came up, but because of the supportive circle, we were able to talk about them openly and honestly and great healing took place. In the end, the fast came together in a big way and it was more powerful and inspiring than any of us could have possibly imagined going in.
The queer fast also inspired a reorientation of the four shields of human nature to better reflect the queer community. Themes that come out of 'queer' experience are strongly reflected in the natural world. Themes around coming out, relationships, diverse community, and more came to the surface. Specifically teaching to these themes as part of the four shields was important and showed how the natural world reflects our diverse gender identity, orientation, struggles and celebrations. Self Generated Ceremony and Intentions also looked and felt different. The mirroring took on a different flavor, all of openness and support. All this and more stretched and grew us as guides throughout the program, and the fast was somehow more rich and deep as a result. We often say 'trust the ceremony' and we did this, but we also had to surrender to the unknown which was both exciting and edgy. We now have deep respect for, and commitment to, creating space for the queer community to do healing work on the land. Removing the barriers around identity and orientation releases something that has no words but is deeply felt. Seeing the School branch out with offerings to different communities, be they men's or women's fasts, the queer fast, the Practice of Living and Dying programs, or the upcoming program for those facing terminal illness, is vitally important. These different offerings give people a chance to do necessary healing work that is meant for their needs. They allow an opening that may not be present for them in a regular 'open' fast, though there is surely a need for the incredible healing that happens in open fasts as well.
The next Queer Fast is set for June 1-12, 2014, in Colorado. We can't wait to see who is drawn to the land at Dragonback Springs Ranch next year. All we know is that making this program, this offering, available to the queer community is both vitally important and needed. If you or someone you know are so inclined, it would be incredible to see you at the Queer Fast next year.
As the lyrics of the song say at the end, it's time to:
"Let the words be yours now
I'm done with mine."
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