This extremely amusing (and for adult eyes only) article, by AA Gill, generated some heated conversations amongst our teachers at DVMS. One of whom was quite incensed by the quote above, "Many of my friends were good and popular students - they are great people now.  This guy doesn't know what he is talking about."

Gill is right in one sense -- success in high school is no guarantee of a ticket to a successful life, but it is riduculous to proclaim that early academic success is a ticket to a life of being a "sorry, seedy never-was."

The interesting point here is the way we measure children in schools: standardized tests, essays and multiple choice exams, etc., are not a true measure of whether someone will succeed, be happy, and contribute later on. They don't measure creativity, resiliency, character, or executive function -- which are all far better measures of a successful life than traditional rubrics.

Perhaps his most salient point is that parenting has never been harder -- the cultural pressures are everywhere and to succumb too much to them can actually work against your child's best interest. Gill is not looking forward to his second pass at parenting. As he writes, "I can't do it anymore. I can't face the next decade of having conversations about extra-curricular activities and tutors. And I can't go on with the phony, smiling interests in other people's kids' achievements and the seething resentment at their success and the hidden Schadenfreude at their stammers and alopecia. Or the self-deluding midnight belief that my own children are late starters or slow burners."

We need to believe in our kids and have high expectations for them -- not live through them and constantly compare them -- if we want them to succeed. A mighty difficult task in the culture in which we live.

Tony Evans

Director of Schools

Dundas Valley Montessori School

Montessori Adolescent School of Hamilton