Pets' New Year's Resolutions
I promise to try really hard to stop drinking out of your water glass, or at least only do it when you're not looking. - Muffin, Calico, UWS.
I resolve to finally learn the answer to that question you always ask: Who's the best dog, Scrappy, who? - Scrappy, Terrier Mix, Tribeca.
I resolve to be more decisive about things ... no ... wait! Can I choose something else? - Kimmy, Orange Tabby, Astoria.
I resolve to slow down and enjoy life, to stop and smell the behinds! - Max, Labrador Mix, Park Slope.
I hereby resolve to stop helping my folks bathe by licking the water off their bare skin after they shower. - Stella, Siamese, Union Square.

I promise to not pass gas during very important dinner parties. - Bruce, French Bulldog, Financial District.
I will try really hard not to pee in the guest bedroom every time your in-laws visit. - Felix, Tuxedo Cat, West Village.
I promise this is the year I will finally quit my nasty habit of licking myself and then trying to give you kisses. - Jack, Pug, UES.
I promise, from the bottom of my heart, to give you unconditional love and joy for as long as I live. That's a no-brainer! - Love, Your Pet!!
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