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Dear Spiritual Partners,
The effects of your resolutions depend upon the intentions behind them. For example, your New Year's resolution might be to get another job, or to lose weight. Resolutions appear to be intentions, but they are not. They are out-tentions. An in-tention is the motivation for doing what you do. It is your reason for making your resolution. For example, you might want another job in order to make more money. In this case, you can ask yourself, why do I want to make more money? There are many possible answers. For example, you might want more money in order to attract attention. In this case, why do you want attention? Again, there are many possible answers. For example, you might want attention in order to get sex, and so on. Eventually you will come to the end of this process. There you will find your in-tention - the WHY beneath all the other whys.
Here is another possibility. You might want more money to pay a loved one's hospital bill because you have no health insurance. This a very different kind of in-tention. The first in-tention is to manipulate or control in order to feel more valuable or safe. It comes from fear. The second in-tention is to care for Life, to give without second agendas, no strings attached for the joy of giving. It comes from love. When you find the deepest, bed-rock, can't-get-any deeper reason for your resolution, it will always be one of these two in-tentions.
The in-tention of love creates healthy, constructive, blissful consequences. The in-tention of fear creates unhealthy, destructive, painful consequences.
We wish you a joyful and healthy New Year.
Love,
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MESSAGE FROM GARY
WHY PAINFUL THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE 
A responsible choice is a choice that creates consequences that you are willing to assume responsibility for. For example, you may usually shout when you become angry. Shouting in anger pushes people away, they are intimidated by you, they are cautious about sharing with you, and you become isolated. The more isolated you become, the angrier you become, and the more isolated and lonely you become, even if you are surrounded by people. This is because the people who surround you will have energy like yours. They will also be angry, and judgmental, too. They will find faults with others, the system (any system), and live their lives as righteous victims. They will try to convince others of the wrongs and injustices they see and of their own superiority. When they succeed, they bond with those people. Their group of "Us" becomes larger and always in conflict with a group of "Them." If you are an angry person, is this what you want to create? If so, continue to act in anger, and you will.
Here is another example. Some people feel good about helping others, and they do so often. They do not realize that their good deeds have a second agenda. They want to be appreciated. When a care-taker gives and gives and does not receive appreciation, thanks, or even acknowledgement, she becomes resentful. Her resentment grows over time and eventually turns to anger, and then explodes at the person who is not thankful or appreciative. People at first enjoy her care-taking, but after a while, they avoid it, unless they desperately need it, because it feels "sticky." It comes with strings attached, unspoken obligations, and people do not like it. The more they resist it, the more unappreciated the care-taker feels, the more resentful she feels, and the angrier she becomes. If you are a care-taker, is this what you want to create? If so, continue to caretake, and you will.
Caretaking is different from care-giving. Care-giving has no second agendas or hidden motives. The care is given from love for the joy of giving without expectation, no strings attached. It cannot be manipulated or discouraged because love cannot be manipulated or discouraged. Care-givers attract care-givers and live in a community of love. They are energized by their caring, fulfilled, and they love life. Care-takers attract care-takers and live in the company of resentful victims who see themselves as misused and are fatigued from constant giving with no return.
Care-giving requires the intention of love, care-taking requires the intention of fear. Not acting in anger when you are angry requires the intention of love. Shouting when you are angry requires the intention of fear - the intention to manipulate and control others - to pursue external power. When you know your intention, you are in a position to choose the consequences that you will create for yourself. When you choose an intention that creates consequences for which you are willing to be responsible, that is a responsible choice. When the intention you choose is love, you create authentic power.
Please share your thoughts with me on http://seatofthesoul.com/blog-new/. I love reading them.
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JOURNEY TO THE SOUL RETREAT 2013
July 21 - 25 at Mount Hood, near Portland, OR USA
Experience the Journey to the Soul, an evolutionary and joyful five-day retreat with Gary Zukav and Linda Francis.
The Journey to the Soul is an in-depth transformational voyage into the most wholesome and refreshing sources of meaning and purpose in your Life. Begin to truly understand your emotions, intentions, and your choices. Activate your deep intention. Explore spiritual partnership.
Learn practical tools (such as emotional awareness and responsible choice) to apply at work, at home, with your family, with your partner. The Journey to the Soul provides a safe and supportive environment to transform your fears into authentic power, love, and spiritual growth. Come by yourself, with your family, coworkers, or intimate other.
Click here for information and to register.
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NOTE FROM LINDA
HOW I LEARNED ABOUT RESPONSIBLE CHOICE
The words "Responsible Choice" sounded daunting to me the first time I encountered them. When I read The Seat of the Soul, I resonated deeply with it. At the same time, many frightened parts of my personality became active. I was especially reactive to the idea that I am responsible for things I can't control. I did not understand that the idea actually means that I am responsible for how I choose to respond to things I can't control. I felt it was appropriate for me to behave angrily and righteously when I became upset at others for saying or doing things that are not right or fair.
Here is how I learned what making a responsible choice really means. I was invited to attend a special event that would only happen one time. It was very important to me, and I was honored and excited to be part of it. I prepared for this event for many months, and a few days before it was to happen, I was told that someone else had been chosen to take my place. In fact, I was told not to come. I was in so much pain, pain that brought me to my knees. I couldn't escape the pain. I was so attached to being an important part of this event and, at the very least, an observer. However, through this very painful experience I discovered that I could make a responsible choice at each moment about whether I would react or respond to this painful experience.
I knew that doing what the frightened part of my personality wanted to do would create distance in me from the people involved. I also knew that it would create, at the very least, a life-long grudge. It took me a while, but I knew that was not what I wanted to happen. I decided to feel the pain in me instead of acting on it. Each time it came, I chose not to make the people who told me not to come wrong, but instead to make the healthiest decision I could make in that moment.
This was a turning point in my life. I knew that my repeated choices to challenge this part of my personality were the "responsible choices" I had read about in The Seat of the Soul. I also learned for myself that making them lessened the power of part of my personality over me. Eventually, its power over me disappeared. Today, years later, I have a beautiful relationship with these same people. I am so grateful for "responsible choices" and for my decisions to make them.
Love,
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"Authentic power is the experience of creating with an empowered
heart without attachment to the outcome."
-- Gary Zukav, Soul to Soul
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