Kinde Nebeker drumming at Great Salt Lake, Global Earth Exchange 2010

"Grief needs something to contain it, like a riverbank," said Kinde Nebeker, an artist and rites of passage guide from Salt Lake City, "and it needs to move like a river."

To offer both these necessities, Kinde recently hosted a grief ritual. She held it at Great Salt Lake, a place she herself had grieved at her 2010 Global Earth Exchange, since the lake is polluted by effluent from housing developments and chemical industries. For the grief ritual she began by creating a special, devotional area, or temenos, composed of a bowl of water and a stone placed in each of the four directions. She then invited those who felt called to do so to come to this central area one at a time and express their feelings. Anyone who felt overwhelmed and in need of support could raise a hand, and someone else would step forward and place a hand on their shoulder. After each private observance, the person washed his or her hands and face with water from the bowl and returned to the outer circle of witnesses.

When everyone had had a chance to grieve, the group walked together toward a shallow trickle of water running toward the lake. They poured the contents of the bowl into the flow, so all the released emotions would be symbolically carried away.

It is by acknowledging sorrow and looking boldly at difficult places (both inner and outer) that we open up new channels of creativity, compassion, and courage. And know we are not alone.