Dave Helmuth presents: the [worship] fertilizer
Howdy! 

Have you ever wanted your teams, pastors, and congregation to get better at giving each other feedback? Ah, the Art of Constructive Conversations. Notice I didn't say "constructive criticism," I said "constructive conversations."  But how?
THE CULTURE* YOU CREATE

I believe we must engage in safe, open conversations where we lovingly share our perceptions, opinions, encouragement, and suggestions. The end goal is for all of us to grow so that we can serve productively, effectively, and with longevity. If we tear each other down with criticism out of our frustration, we'll destroy each other. If we "keep our opinions to ourselves" we'll effectively be stealing opportunities for growth, and end up burying our talents. Both are tragic and unacceptable.

 

THE ART love

This kind of conversation is an art. It will take time to learn it. "All discipline is painful," Hebrews 12:11 reminds us, "but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Engaging in regular feedback will help us become people who stick close, are fiercely loyal to each other, and are committed to sharpen each other like iron!

 

Here are some further guides for us as we share feedback each week with each other.

 

*Click here for details on next Saturday's Free Training on the "Culture of Worship"  

Culture of Worship

WEAR THEIR SHOES

After writing your comments (or as you think about what you're going to say), ask yourself "If I was on the receiving end, would I feel like it's safe to learn here? Would the tone encourage me to stay open relationally to the person giving the feedback? Great! But if I would read that feedback about me (without all the warmth of body language and vocal tone that you miss via email), and I call that person names or swear in my head, then change it.


I HAVE BLIND SPOTS

You don't, but I do. :-) That's the great value in this kind of perspective - you can see things that I can't. Your vantage point is different than those in the congregation. You have at least an idea of what it's like to be in my shoes. Yet at the same time, I need you as a mirror because the reality is "I have no idea what it's like to be led in worship by me." But you do.


DON'T BE NICE
Speak truth in the language of love. Lots of people could've avoided being "American Idol'd" if at least one person they trusted would've been honest with them. I don't mean candy coat truth, I mean be kind and give them your true perception. But listen. Truth that's spoken in love will be experienced as freedom. Make it sound like freedom. Talk like you'd want someone to speak to your "kid sister."


IT'S A CONVERSATION

Don't drop bombs and run. Think of ways to ask questions or say things that are open ended, that invite a response. If you're receiving it, plan on continuing the conversation with some agreement, perhaps some rebuttal, and some "thanks, I never thought of that before."


YOU AREN'T WHAT YOU DO

Artists are often challenged by this disease - attaching who they are to what they do. The reality is that we have complete worth (perfect worth) in who Jesus says we are. We're loved as a son or daughter and are pleasing to the Father because of what Jesus paid. Live out of that. You don't need to perform for your acceptance or approval. (sigh...relief!) But our art is often so personal, so emotional, that it does feel like it's us, like it's hard to see where it ends and we begin. One of the troubles with this is that when we do really well, we can easily get proud (Satan must have been one amazing musician). And when we do a lousy job, we feel worthless and like a piece of junk. Nothing could be further from the truth. So hear feedback as if has nothing to do with your value. Because it doesn't.


TALK LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF A PERFECTIONIST

A perfectionist plays 1,000 notes, makes 2 mistakes and is completely oblivious to the 998 right notes (proving why there aren't any perfectionist jazz players). Chances are, we know the spots where we made mistakes. Comments like "you really messed those notes up in the bridge" aren't that helpful, because we probably already know. Highlight the bright spots, what was working, the moments when your heart raced, you saw real fruit, you were helped.


BUILD A PATH

You won't always know how to "fix" what's amiss, but try to give suggestions on how to move beyond where they are. Have you walked there and have tried something successfully? One way to do this is by saying what you want/like rather than what you don't want/like. Saying "your midrange is so powerful and listenable, especially when you're between a G and a D" is a better way than saying "you sound awful above a D." In a way, you're helping them by "scripting the critical moves." Don't think big picture, think in terms of specific behaviors. Change is easier when you know where you're going and why it's worth it.


SHRINK THE CHANGE

We all started without knowing anything and had a huge learning curve ahead of us. Sometimes it still feels that way. We don't want to stay stuck, but learning can be daunting. Break down the change until it no longer overwhelming. Sometimes you can suggest a simple tweak to the environment that's a lot easier to change than a behavior. For example, instead of saying "You really learn to flow more," try "What would it take to play those two songs in A rather than in Bb and A?"


SUGGEST HABITS

When behavior is habitual, it's "free" - it doesn't tax us, we don't need to try to do it, "it's just habit." Look for ways to encourage good habits. Some of what we observe are symptoms. Address the underlying cause by implementing good habits.  


DECIDE THAT YOU AND YOUR FELLOW LEADERS WANT TO GROW

Commit to cultivate a sense of identity (as a learning, growing leader) and spread a growth mind-set that says "I can always learn. I can always change how I do things."

 

 

Wow, that's a ton of great advice! Thanks to Chip and Dan Heath for inspiring many of these thoughts in their amazing book "Switch: How to Change Things when Change is Hard." I really hope that it helps you and your team grow better together. So what else would you add? Any feedback for me? :-) 

 

 

[and here's a printable, text version of this Fertilizer]

Lanco Worship Link's "Culture of Worship" Free Training Day, October 5thCulture
Culture of Worship
UPCOMING EVENTS
How you can get involved!

Vocal Workshop with Nikki Learner (10:00 AM - 2:00 PM, this Saturday, September 28)
This is a great opportunity to bring your choir, worship teams, soloists and even your speakers to a vocal workshop. It's professional vocal instruction, snacks and coffee in a warm and friendly atmosphere! All for $12! Click here for details.

 

"Culture of Worship" Free Training Day (7:30/9:00 AM - noon, next Saturday, October 5) 

Bring your whole team to learn How to Sound Check effectively, How to increase congregational engagement in worship, How to help the Word and the Worship complement each other, How to have an effective rhythm section (Bass and Drums), and How to play keyboard without sounding like it's 1992. It's free and will be a blast! Register here.

   

Coaching Moments (ongoing)
A moment in time with a seasoned coach who will listen well, speak into your situation and life, and give you new energy to tackle your challenge can make all the difference. Available either via Skype or in person. Click for details.

Mondays at Prince Street (6:30-7:30 AM every Monday)
Coffee up with other worship leaders. Great conversations. Encouragement. Friendship. Details.

Ephrata Guild (October 3)
Each month, worship leaders in Ephrata gather for lunch and to encourage each other. Join us in October on the 3rd at noon at La Borimex.

Harrisburg Alliance of Worship Leaders
(November 16)
Every other month, worship leaders in Harrisburg and the surrounding areas gather to enrich, educate, and encourage each other. Visit us on Facebook! 

 

Worship Team Retreat (ongoing)

"What Dave presented was practical, timely, and God-inspired - we are still talking about what an awesome time we had together!" When is your team going to say this? Hire us

 

Rehearsal Coaching (ongoing)

Whether it's your worship band, garage band, or touring band, you can have Ad Lib Music come to a rehearsal and help you get to the next level! Schedule a date here

Dave and Goliath 
You are receiving this email because at some point in your journey, Dave Helmuth, Ad Lib Music, or someone connected to us, helped you grow in your relationship with the LORD through worship. If you ever find this resource unhelpful, simply unsubscribe below and continue on your merry way. 

 

�nimo!

Dave Helmuth
In simple love and pure devotion to Jesus, we are eradicating isolation and burnout so that leaders bear much fruit!

Email: [email protected] 

Phone - 717.468.6428
www.AdLibMusic.com 

 

�nimo: courage, refresh, transform, bring to life, encourage, inspire, intentionally cheer up,
come on, it's not far now!
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