"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
"I don't much care where -"
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
While human beings are classified as animals biologically, they are different from all other animals because they have the capacity to choose. And while it may not appear so, we make choices moment by moment, with each choice leading to a new set of options to choose from.
If we choose to examine how we have arrived at certain circumstances we may understand the choices we have made. On the other hand, we dis-empower ourselves by claiming that we had no choice. In reality, we make choices in every present moment. And the more of those choices we make from a place of consciousness, the more those choices will lead us to circumstances that support our evolution.
How we choose
Choice can be influenced by external factors. Shags or Nairobi? Extended family or nuclear? Local or international trip? Each of the options confronting you is armed with an entire array of qualities to sway your choice. The fresh country air draws you to the shags option, while your need for convenience and comfort dictates Nairobi. Your sense of 'obligation' suggests extended family, while reason says stick with what you can manage - a small nuclear family to deal with. The chosen options' qualities, together with elements of your upbringing, personality and past experiences, all come together to drive your choice.
If you attach no value to fresh air or family, or physical comfort then the choice of shags or Nairobi will be random. It is highly unlikely that you would agonise over choice if you did not attach value to the attributes at play in whatever situation. So let us proceed with the assumption that you feel tension because you are faced with a selection of values.
This is where the essence of 'you' comes into play.
If you are making a selection that isn't 'you' will feel tension, discomfort, guilt, something. You will also feel tension if you do not acknowledge the 'you' it points to. For example, choosing to go upcountry may be 'you', but you may want to portray an image of a 'modern' person who goes on holiday to the beach. This situation, much as the first, is about authenticity.
Your best choice is your authentic voice. If you are not using this voice these holidays you will not feel as energised after the holidays as you could be. Keeping up pretences takes up a lot of energy, and not using your authentic voice is, in a manner of speaking, keeping up pretences.
Listen to your authentic voice
These holidays pay attention to what you feel when you are considering your options.
Does your body tense up when you think of some of the options?
Do you refuse to consider some options, even as they hover on the horizon and refuse to be ignored? Which options are you relaxed about reviewing? Which options do you select? Do they reflect your vision, or 'it doesn't matter which way you go?'
Your responses to these questions could create a whole new range of possibilities as you go into the New Year.
Happy Choosing!
