The fourth question that could change your life is: "what's holding you back?"
In my experience the most common response to this question is "resources", or, to be more specific, "money".
The irony is, you need to do something to create or attract the resources in the first place.
Other responses include 'not knowing how or where to start' which includes the lack of skills, and 'not being ready' which could include the two reasons above.
In all instances, I find, fear is at the root of our seeming inability to move forward with creating the life we truly desire.
It may be fear of success, or of failure. It is the fear of changing, and the fear of staying the same. It is the fear of the unknown, in juxtaposition, ironically, with the fear of knowing our truths. It is the fear that we are not good enough.
What is your kind of fear?
Understanding that fear is part of life is the first step to stopping it from paralysing you. Fear can spur you to action, and not only in extreme situations, if you choose to harness its energy for positive action. Many people will tell you they still feel a tingle of fear before they embark on something they have done severally, like stepping up onto the stage to perform, or talk. This kind of fear serves to remind us that we are a continuing work of art, and that we are human.
5 things that you can do about your fear:
1. Let it be your companion, but do not cede control. Imagine you are driving, and there is a car in the lane next to you. The driver of this car appears erratic, and sometimes gets too close to you, but she is not driving your car. You are in control of your car, no matter what she does. So you focus on your driving, staying in your lane, while keeping a 'third' eye out for sudden moves from the other driver. Eventually she, or you, will take a turn, or stop, and you will not have to worry about her anymore. If you don't stay focused on your driving you will begin to make mistakes and could cause an accident.
Fear accompanies us on parts of our journey, but it need not be in control.
2. Ask yourself what if? What if the fearful outcome isn't true? What is possible? Asking this question gets you into thinking about possibilities, and doing so opens you up to new perspectives, new solutions, and, possibly, the realisation that you can do it. Another way to look at this is to ask "what's the worst that can happen?" Often, we can survive the worst that we imagine, and many times what we fear never comes to pass.
3. Burn the boats. This seemingly extreme position leaves you no option but to succeed. One of the reasons we fear to do things differently is because we have the option not to do so. And as long as we have that option, we can make excuses.
4. Start doing something anyway. Some people call this 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. Don't wait for the fear to go before you start doing something about the life you want. This could be just what you need to show you that you can do it! And the more you succeed, the less the fear holds you back.
5. Take care of yourself, from the inside out. Eat right, sleep right. Be at peace with your neighbour. This builds your immunity against fear, and gives you the confidence to step out and go for the life you really want.
When all is said and done, ask yourself this: "is my fear less dreadful than the future I face if I don't do things differently?"
When your answer is "no" you will do something about it.
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