"I'm a unique, one-of-a-kind, unrepeatable miracle!"
That statement, from No More Perfect Kids, is a phrase that Dr. Kathy Koch and I wish every parent and every child could fully grasp!
Looking at that from an adult perspective, if we can say that and mean that, we can celebrate who we are in place of criticizing who we aren't. It's hard for our kids to accept themselves if we model negativity about ourselves. (Tweet This) So it starts with us first!
Looking at this from a kid perspective, it's important for our kids to be more familiar with their strengths and unique
qualities than with their weaknesses. It's easy
for kids to want to fit in to the world around them, so sometimes it's hard for them to embrace their unique qualities. You and I play a huge role in helping them celebrate who they are!
Watch the words you speak about yourself. Do your kids hear you complaining about your weight or your hair? Do they hear you lament about what you don't have rather than celebrating what you do have? You are setting the stage for their ability to accept themselves through your acceptance or rejection of yourself.
Where do we start? Here are a few steps to take:
- Celebrate character, talents, and skills as much as -- or more than -- achievement. "Wow! Lisa, you were a good listener!" "Tommy, you were very helpful when we were picking up toys." These kinds of statements translate into your child's internal identity: "I'm a good listener," or "I'm helpful."
- Celebrate more than criticize. Children who receive more criticism than encouragement become more familiar with what they can't do than what they can do. Be generous with encouraging words.
- Hear the cry of your child's heart. When children are trying to deal with how they are different than others, it's important to respond with compassion and to hear the cry of their hearts. After you've felt their pain, help them accept what can't be changed by reframing it for them in some way.
- Press the pause button in conflict. It's easy to let hurtful words exit our mouth in the heat of a moment filled with emotions. Step outside or walk into another room in an effort to maintain self-control and keep hurtful words from slipping out when you are frustrated. Return to the situation with correction and/or consequences without letting your emotions add to the situation.
We can love our lives when we embrace our unique qualities and celebrate the way that God made us! (Tweet This)
Joining you in the journey,
Jill Savage
Wife to Mark
Mom of Anne, Evan, Erica, Kolya, and Austin
Nana to Rilyn, Landon, and Marie
