It's July, and the word of the month is  freedom. We all love the idea of freedom. Are we not the land of the free? Our Constitution protects our freedom. But the one freedom we most long for yet find so difficult to experience is pure emotional freedom. Freedom to live the life we were meant to live. To embrace our truth, to be free of all unnecessary worry and anxiety. To feel sure footed as we walk through life. Freedom to finally remove the shackles of our doubts and insecurities and step out into the world. That is what true emotional freedom is. So, if happiness is our birthright, why do we struggle so? The answer lies in The Judge who takes up residence in our psyche whose job it is to write and direct the scripts of our lives.  All humans, to one degree or another, are familiar with The Judge, also known our Inner Critical Voice. The Judge develops out of our childhood experience. Few, if any, people had such perfect parents, teachers and other authority figures around them that the Judge didn't have at least some fuel to feed its development.

The Judge is a remnant of our inner child and is a cumulative result of all the shames, guilt, humiliations, criticisms and punishments that got heaped upon us, when actually, all we were doing was the best we knew how to do at the time. As kids, our brains had limited capacity to understand the actions and behaviors of others who influenced our lives. We were smaller and less powerful and eventually reached the conclusion that they were right and somehow we were not good enough, not quite right, certainly not adequate, maybe even defective. The Judge then becomes internalized and can wreak havoc as we set out to achieve goals and fulfill dreams. The voice of The Judge is quite harsh and punitive in nature.

Unfortunately the Judge is always ready to strike a blow by causing our inner child to once again reactivate the anxiety and resultant stress response pushing us into a fight or flight or freeze state. Either way, we feel bad, because the Judge feels so real to us. When in actuality, the Judge is merely an illusion.  It's not real. There is no one in your head but you!

The Judge feels so real because it operates outside of our awareness. We march to its beat believing it is real and that it speaks truth, when in fact nothing is further from the truth. Remember The Wizard of Oz?  A brilliant example of the Judge and what it really is. Dorothy and the gang live in fear of the Wizard, giving him all of their power. It was Toto (of course it was the dog!) who was curious enough and smart enough to question it all. It was a beautiful moment when Toto pulled back the curtain, exposing the small man who had everyone tricked into believing that he was something that he was not.

And so it is with The Judge. Once we pull back the curtain of our own awareness, we can start to see and understand that that The Judge really is nothing more than a bunch of old recordings, and some really bad ones at that, that no one ever bothered to turn off. That is the first step in the process of freeing yourself from the Judge. Awareness.  Shrinking your Judge may be the most important work that you do, because the Judge is not just the Judge, but the Jury and the Executioner too. How many people let their dreams of success in what ever they are longing for literally die, all because of this crazy Judge that doesn't even exist, except to our own subjective impression.

Breaking free from the Judge is best done through body work, breath and imagery. Obviously, all of the tensions and traumas experienced as children landed somewhere in our physiology, so doing release work with the body, such as yoga and other mind-body practices would be helpful. Releasing habitual tensions on the physical level opens new spaces on the emotional and mental levels, space for new ideas and healthier emotions. Breath work is also essential. We typically breathe in a shallow manner, which does not allow for deep relaxation. Meditation, which quiets the mind, may lead to less bothersome thoughts. Imagery is also important. Draw a picture of your Judge, and keep drawing it smaller and smaller so the picture shrinks down to a very tiny image on paper. Imagine turning down the volume control knob when the Judge starts to bark. It is totally OK to ignore the Judge. Just say, "Isn't that fascinating. There goes that old recording again."

 In the end, to rid yourself of The Judge, you need a new belief system, one that is lighter and more optimistic and positive where you literally feel worthy, deserving and adequate to move towards getting what you want. Obviously, as an EFT practitioner, I believe that the use of EFT would be the fastest way to shrink the Judge down to essentially nothing. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques. If your Judge is preventing you from moving forward, consider setting up a session with me. I'll help you shrink your Judge and free your inner child so you can find the freedom and peace of mind that you deserve!

I have some great workshops lining up for the Fall. See events below.

Have a great month!