LOSS
There have been some years, I suppose, that life can coast along without much disruption. In those moments we can live the luxury of thinking God's love = the good life. Pleasure. Friends. Fun. Good food. Monetary stability. Intact families. Life!
But then . . . there are years of loss.
An unexpected death in the family. Tragedy. Addiction. Unemployment. Disease. Unexplained. Undesired. Unmitigated. LOSS. We all have our ways of coping, and processing grief. Some of us lean heavily, in those times, on God's character, on seeing the bigger purpose and plan. Some of us need to muddle in the mess of roiling emotion, and give ourselves the freedom to question without being pushed into any answers, fixes or solutions that may not serve or touch our deepest heart at that moment.
In my experience, at those times of loss, there are many -- even sometimes true -- statements that can be lobbed at us by well-meaning people. Though perhaps deeply felt and genuinely held by these persons, those words have felt platitudinous to me, like deadwood falling into the swirl of my heaving heart; unsatisfying, weightless and hollow:
"There is a purpose for everything."
"God will make it good."
And I've even heard . . ."Did you have enough faith?"
I am amazed at the things that can come out of people's mouths, and I am humbled to recognize, that I, too, have said my share of ill-timed, perhaps-insensitive things when I am grappling to understand, myself, and I so desire to make it better for someone I love. It's important to remember that even the right thing said in the wrong moment can bloody and bruise an already-crushed spirit. Likewise, the wrong things said at the wrong time, or the wrong things said at the right time too, those can deeply wound someone already hurting.
"Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks," the Bible says. So what does it say about our hearts, our faith, when instead of weeping with those that weep, we feel, at times, the compulsion to give answers to their unspoken questions, and fixes to their deep need; needs that sometimes can only be met by an internal, very personal, unique, Holy Spirit-inspired process?
A 19-year-old friend of mine just lost his father. His dad struggled with alcoholism. After 20 years of marriage, his mom didn't want to watch her husband die of this disease: alcoholism. She divorced him last year. Last Tuesday his dad was getting ready for a late Father's day celebration with his three kids. He went to take a quick nap before he went and picked up my friend, his younger brother (17), and little sister (5). Instead, as he slept, he had a grand mal seizure and my friend's father died.
That coming Sunday was supposed to be my friend's first day preaching in his new church. Instead of bowing out, like many would have done, he took to the pulpit with a deeper sense of purpose. The Spirit of love and mercy itself fell as he spoke about the promise that we have in Christ. How God himself sent his son to earth to take on our death and fear, all our 'less-than-love's and 'less-than-life's that every last one of us have chosen. That Jesus was sent to pay our debt and in its place give us His life! How recent conversations with his dad had led him to believe that he would see him someday again, in heaven. With a courageous smile on his face and a gleam in his eye he talked about how happy he was that his father would never have the shakes again. His dad was beginning to believe, he said; he struggled -- deeply -- but was receiving, by faith, Jesus' love for him. It was a testament to the great power of grace and faith.
A man got up after him and with only a few words crashed and shattered the hue of golden hope my friend had woven into the air. He said something to the effect of, "Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived..." and then went into a long list of those who, according to the Bible quoted here, will not inherit the kingdom of God, a list that includes drunkards. (1 Corinthians 6).
Now those of you who know me well enough probably already know that I have wrestled with Paul many times. He is the one that authored those verses in 1 Corinthians and who, overall, authored the letters, or rather the "epistles" portion, of the New Testament. He synergized the gospel in profound ways and gave us many theological truths. I do believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God, and I also believe in wrestling with the truth until it gets on the inside of you in ways that mere ascent cannot enable. I do not believe in signing onto prepackaged doctrine deals. Indeed, the TRUTH sets us free, so what question would the truth, in its true form, ever fear? So, with that, let's wrestle.
Paul was at one time a letter-of-the-law man, and I think a part of that nature in him never fully went away; it's a bent, a personality type, if you will, and it goes without saying, it is not mine. Now, I'm not certain what motivated Paul to say what he did. I do know he was addressing that letter to a church he was encouraging to live out a pure representation of Christ. He was dealing with the pedestrian parts of living out a gospel life, and it's a valid concern. How does the gospel, being a "little Christ," more commonly known as being a "Christian," flesh itself out in us?
Granted, in Christ, there is sanctification, which is the process of healing in our hearts and minds, even to the point that, in part, we are freed from sin and its hold over us. We are empowered then to live, and inspired to teach, love.
In order to recognize freedom from sin it might help to be clear on what "sin" really is. The word in Greek actually means, "to miss the mark," and since the Bible says, "perfect love casts out fear," that "God IS love," and that God is, "the author and sustainer of all things," I would say that sin is really just anything less than love and life. Less than the best that God, who IS absolute LOVE, and IS the very breath of life, has for us, inasmuch as it is ours to choose. Indeed, the Bible says outright, "Anything less than [that which comes] from faith is sin," in Romans 14:23.
Stay with me, we are building a theological foundation here . . . so, we are told in 1 Corinthians 6 that overt 'sinners,' in the ways elucidated, "will not inherit the kingdom of God," then are given a more nuanced impression about what sin really is in other portions of the Word; and by that true definition it leaves us ALL very much guilty. Now, for what at first glance seems a kicker contradiction, Paul says this: "What then shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all -- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies, who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died --more than that, who was raised to life -- is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
It's like he's saying, on one hand, do not be deceived you will not inherit the kingdom of God if you have these 'less-than's manifesting in your life, but on the other hand, NOTHING can separate us from the love of Jesus Christ. So which is it? And are any of us truly FREE from overt and even covert 'less-than's on this side of eternity? Are some of us, some sins, in essence, better than others? Because that's certainly what it can seem to imply, based on common interpretations -- no?
Jesus (oh, how I love Jesus!), said, "The law said not to commit adultery, I say if you even look at a woman lustfully you have committed adultery." What is his point? Jesus was not so much a letter-of-the-law kind of guy. He was a SPIRIT-of-the-law man. He wanted to pick something up and look at its underside, then turn it inside out and graze, with healing hands, the fibers of its insides, its essence -- in order to really apply the principle behind the letter. How I love Jesus. His whole life, death and resurrection were about setting us free! So what was his point in saying that? What was his point when he knelt beside the woman who had been caught in prostitution, and instead of adding his voice to those raised in judgment of her, began to draw in the dust? The angry mob heaved and harangued, thronging towards the woman and now a kneeling Jesus, to lob their indignation at the woman in the form of stones that would bloody and bruise her body. What was His point? When he finally looked up at them and said quietly, but with humble authority, "He who has not sinned, cast the first stone." I believe His point, HIS VERY LIFE, was about showing us that ALL OF US NEED. ALL OF US LACK. ALL OF US HAVE FALLEN SHORT. And this holy life -- a sanctified life -- is NOT POSSIBLE outside of the grace and mercy of God. Our freedom comes from receiving that grace. UNDESERVED. UNEXPLAINED. UNMITIGATED. IN OUR LOSS . . . whatever kind it is.
My friend's father, and my earthly father too, in fact, struggled with an addiction perhaps you and I don't understand. But we can understand need, can't we? Maybe our fear and our 'less-than-faith' is expressed through pride, or laziness, anger, despair, or maybe religious legalism. We have all felt and expressed need in ways that were "less than" faith, life and love, have we not? We have all sinned. Where did this ridiculous hierarchy of sin come from? Like one is worse than another, just because one can appear more obvious?
The Bible says, "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who stirs up conflict in the community."
Who has NEVER lied? Or never devised a stupid scheme; a "solution" that created more woe, not less? We have all grasped in our need, have we not?
The good old King James Version interprets Jeremiah 17:9 like this: "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Some time ago now I looked up the word translated as "wicked" there in an English-to-Hebrew lexicon and I found that the word for wicked there was also translated elsewhere to mean "fatally ill," or "wounded." Illuminating. So, let's really pick it up, turn it inside out, and graze the fibers with healing hands.
Essence?
The Bible says, "God desires that no man would perish," and it says too, "God does not willingly afflict the sons of men." God does not want all this pain and this hurt; this fear and this loss, but here it is, and here it is again, and now again. We are broken. This world is broken. There ARE NO EASY ANSWERS for us, but there is a God who weeps. Who sees. Who hears. Who loves us. Emmanuel -- GOD WITH US -- in it. Who longs for our good even more than we do. Who wanted our LIFE, in every sense of that word, FULLY LIVED and FULL of all the fruits of His spirit: LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, GENTLENESS, FAITHFULNESS, AND SELF CONTROL. THAT IS WHAT GOD WANTS for ALL OF US.
Inherit the kingdom?
Jesus tells us when he teaches us how to pray to ask for the Kingdom to come "on earth as it is in heaven." I believe we can have God's kingdom, and, please, hear that as I mean it -- LOVE'S KINGDOM -- here on earth, inasmuch as we receive the freedom that comes from knowing God loves us NO MATTER WHAT. Is our identity defined by our deeds, or are our deeds defined by our identity? And who are we really? God says if we will believe in the gift of his son, if we will receive with faith God's great love for us, that we are saved, that we are holy, that we are, as 1 Corinthians 6 goes on to say, "washed, sanctified, and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." Could it be sanctification begins and ends with THAT? Simple acceptance of our identity secured by Christ and God's merciful love for us. Receive WHO YOU ARE to inherit the kingdom of heaven even HERE on earth, inasmuch as you have power over your sphere of influence. With your choices -- embrace that identity. Let it come to define you above, and independent of, your deeds. That freedom produces "the joy of our salvation," and "the Joy of the Lord is our strength." This great gift of BEING LOVED, FULLY KNOWN, FORGIVEN, ACCEPTED, that alone being our IDENTITY . . . undeserved, but here it is, and here it is again, and now again. We are loved. We are loved. We are loved. As we accept that gift, so beyond us, the fear and need -- that overwhelming sense of our own failure, perhaps -- all of those things, that can drive our 'less-than's -- they can fall away, and in their place we find ourselves living as we were meant to live -- love. We have been here all along; buried, dormant maybe, but not dead.
The Kingdom?
It was Paul again who says (I have grown up to love Paul now too), "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." All our best answers still fall short. How can we comprehend the yet-incomprehensible?
We can experience the kingdom here on earth inasmuch as we choose to live the joy and strength that comes in accepting, by faith, the gift of LOVE and MERCY God has given to us, but there is so much in the world beyond our control, and beyond our understanding. Only God knows the heart and story specific to each person. Only God sees and hears all. There is so much still reliant on others' choices and/or on a fallen system that has been ravaged by years of 'less-than's. The whole earth "groans" with it, the Bible says. No, we will not experience the kingdom fully until ALL has been set right. When this broken world, and all these unanswered questions, these pregnant, tearful silences, these well-meaning mouths, sometimes hurtful, sometimes insensitive, sometimes even downright wrong, meet their ultimate healing. The Bible talks about that too . . .
Then one of the elders asked me, "These in white robes -- who are they, and where did they come from?"
I answered, "Sir, you know."
And he said, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore, "they are before the throne of God and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will shelter them with his presence. 'Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat down on them,' nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; 'he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.'"
So next time we have a moment of loss, or someone near us does, whether it is clearly due to overt 'less-than's, or just the result of a terribly broken world where hard things happen for seemingly -- no -- reason, speak if you are sure the Spirit is leading you to edify the other through speech, but otherwise, do feel free to just shut up. Don't need to fill the pregnant silences if silence is what would best serve. Fear is compulsion. Faith is freedom. Cry and trust GOD (LOVE) to be GOD (LOVE) in it with us, and to lead us all to his heart through it, whatever it is, in his own time, in his own way.
Paul, this letter-of-the-law man, a dear recipient of God's great mercy, went on to say, "God's grace is sufficient for me." He ultimately declared himself "the greatest of sinners!" Finally, he summed up his talk about someday knowing fully as he is fully known, about seeing Jesus face to face, with this, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE."
Who am I to say, really? But still, I will say what I believe: my friend will see his dad again.
And what of his father? Well, he WOKE UP from his nap to IDENTITY, and to a Father's Day celebration unlike any he had ever known. Fully knowing now as he has been fully known. Face to face, Jesus smiled at him so deep he couldn't help but do the same, and "Jesus said, "It is finished'" (John 19:30).
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received" (2 Corinthians 31:3-4).
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