A True Story of Self Control
In The Workplace
At the end of the day, Alice, the cleaning lady, would often peek into Mr. Cooper's office to say hello. No matter what the "emotional weather" might be, she adored Frank Cooper and was one of the very few who could withstand his tongue lashing episodes. Theirs was a special connection because of that mutual trust and tolerance- Frank could raise his voice complaining about some detail Alice might have "overlooked" in her nightly cleaning routine, and both of them knew his outburst had nothing to do with her incompetence; it had everything to do with his struggle with emotional self control.
When the "episodes" occurred, there was no stopping the fiery language, verbal attacks and even personal barbs. Co-workers would emerge from his office pale and even shaken at times, armed with one conviction- they would never allow themselves to wander into the crossfire again. The problem however, was no one could second guess when or where or even why he was erupting- like many exploder's, it seemed arbitrary.
What made it especially difficult is everyone loved and admired Frank because he had a heart of gold. He cared deeply about his clients and the employees in his accounting firm. This paradox between his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde selves was the barrier that kept the office paralyzed to act. That was, until the Alice Incident.
After a particularly difficult day, Alice rapped on Frank's door, signaling she was outside and ready to clean his office. More a courtesy, than a formality, she knew to enter quietly, expecting to find the office dark and empty. Instead, she saw Frank, head buried behind a tall stack of audits due out the following Monday. She quickly reached for the wastebasket, missing the handle. As the metal fell against the credenza, it sent a sharp metallic jolt through the air, and Frank raised his head from the pile and began an assault of commentary that even Alice had not heard before.
She excused herself and left the office, walking down the long hall to her car below. As best folks could piece together, she must have decided that this was the last straw. Later that evening, her son found her collapsed on kitchen floor. Still alive, she was rushed to the hospital. The report indicated an attempted suicide, likely brought on by the stresses she did not share with even her closest associates and friends.
For, what no one knew the night Frank exploded was she had just received word that her husband of many years had been diagnosed with a chronic condition which would leave him paralyzed within three years........What no one knew is that her mother had just spent the last of her savings, allowing her the level-4 care which she needed at the local nursing home...And what no one else knew is that Alice had recently discovered a lump in her breast...
You see, what no one knew and what she was living with everyday was a silent weight she carried around her neck daily. She was not the type to complain or bring attention to her life challenges. Rather, she was raised to believe that if she had the strength to bear these burdens, then she had the strength to be a model for others. But as all human beings, she too had her limits. As much as she often was the steady hand, the understanding and compassionate anchor that Frank dumped his anxiety on, even she had a breaking point.
On Monday morning, Frank heard the news. He excused himself from a board meeting, walked to an empty office and stared out the window to the street 21 stories below.
"Did I miss something?" he wondered. "Did I say something that pushed her over the edge?" In a minute, his horror must have hit him full on, as he recalled his demeaning tirade of Friday night.
As I understand it, Alice's recovery was slow. She never returned to the accounting firm, citing it was "too much" physical strain. However, the employees who knew Alice the best also knew, it was not the physical strain that kept Alice away. It was a strain of a much different kind.
That day Cooper Accounting lost a great employee and Frank Cooper lost much, much more.
...Your words are as powerful as arrows
Choose your target with the knowledge
you can never truly take them back...
Copyright 2013
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