2012 Calendar
Date Host Presenter
Nov 4 Diane Ann Stevenson
Dec 6 Carol W GGS Anniversary
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Please Forward this GaGazine
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November 4 Meeting
Have your children or grandchildren asked you to tell them stories about your childhood? Do you keep thinking you'll get around to it someday but somehow never get started?
Ann Stevenson is a trained Guided Autobiography Facilitator who will provide a structured, supportive environment in which we can write and share our stories. Join us and participate in an introduction to creating your own autobiography that can be left as a legacy for family members.
Ann has been in private practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist in Cupertino, CA since 1986, where she works with individuals and couples. She facilitated last January's discussion "When Being a Grandma Isn't So Grand."
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Tame Your Halloween Candy Monster
 I confess to having a serious sweet tooth. There's something about seeing a bowl of Halloween candy that brings out the candy monster in me. I looked for some ideas on dealing with Halloween candy temptations and found 9 tips to keep in mind when you're buying those trick-or-treat goodies. Read more ... |
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Pumpkin Bread
I've been baking this light and flavorful pumpkin bread for decades. When I have time, I steam fresh sugar pie pumpkin. But if you're in a hurry, canned pumpkin works just as well. This recipe makes 3 loaves or you can cut the recipe in half to make 6 giant muffins.
Ingredients
3 cups sugar
4 eggs, well beaten
2 cubes butter
2 cups fresh pumpkin + 1/2 cup water
(or 1 - 15 oz. can pumpkin puree + 2/3 cup water)
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tbs. vanilla
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. nutmeg
3 1/2 cups flour
1 cup chopped nuts or dried cranberries
Directions
1. Place oven rack to center and preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray three 8 1/2" x 4 1/2" loaf pans with cooking spray.
2. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
3. Add eggs, one at a time, until blended.
4. Add fresh or canned pumpkin plus water.
5. Add cinnamon, vanilla, soda, nutmeg, and salt.
6. Gradually add flour mixture being careful not to over mix.
7. Gently fold in chopped nuts or dried cranberries.
8. Pour batter into 3 pans and spread evenly.
9. Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes.
Note: If you want to use fresh pumpkin, I recommend sugar pie pumpkins. Cut the pumpkin in half, scoop out the seeds, and cut into large chunks. Steam in a small amount of water until soft, about 1 hour. Then peel, puree, and drain excess water.
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Greetings!
This month we had the pleasure of hearing author Ruth Nemzoff discuss her new book, Don't Roll Your Eyes: Making In-Laws into Family . Ruth was in the Bay Area on a book tour and made the GaGa Sisterhood her final stop before boarding a red-eye back to Boston. Ruth is a real dynamo who says she was born with lots of energy and a gift for getting along with many different people. She entertained us all by sharing tips from her book and answering questions about how to build satisfying relationships with our adult children. As Ruth writes in her book: The ease or difficulty of these relationships depends mostly on the willingness of everyone to make things work. Both generations want to be appreciated and acknowledged for our efforts. Neither wants to be taken for granted or judged. Most often, the angry feelings are over hurt: hurt about being cast aside, hurt about feeling inadequate, hurt about not being understood, and hurt about not understanding the new rules of the family. Ruth comes across, both in person and in her writing, as a wise woman with compassion and humor. She is dedicated to helping families gain insight into our relationships and learning behaviors that can help us avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings. I'm grateful to our gracious host, Jan, for providing a space for all of us GaGas to benefit from Ruth's wisdom. |
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Don't Roll Your Eyes
Host Jan, Donne, and Ruth
Ruth Nemzoff began her presentation by sharing a personal story. On December 20, 2009, she and her husband lost their home in a fire. Their whole family rallied from the four corners of the earth. Ruth made a point of saying that her four in-law children helped as much as her children, which is why it's so important to foster good relationships with your in-laws. Then she joked that they might also be the ones picking out your nursing home!
Ruth is an expert at navigating family dynamics and grasps all the different perspectives of intergenerational relationships. She examines the forces that make in-law relationships troublesome as well as how multiple generations can benefit from them.
She writes from experience and says that of all her careers--teacher, administrator, state legislator, and professor--mothering has been the most rewarding. She has four adult children, four in-law children, and seven grandchildren, with whom she has very satisfying relationships. It's easy to understand why, given her insight and communication skills.
Don't Roll Your Eyes focuses on all the different issues that can cause tension or bring in-laws together. Classic in-law jokes can make us wary of one another before we even meet. We all encounter misunderstandings because we all have varying needs for independence and connection. We forget that each one of us is on our own life course. As we continue to grow and change, our circumstances can change and that can lead us to blame the in-law for trouble in the relationship.
Most parents want to be part of our adult children's lives. But the degree of closeness we want may differ between the generations. These perceptions, right or wrong, lead to misinterpretations of many situations. Shared experiences, new routines, and affection take a long time to develop.
Each chapter ends with some thought-provoking questions that will help you gain insight into yourself and your family as well as providing a great starting point for family or group discussions.
In the final three chapters, Nemzoff addresses the big issues of money and death and encourages families to discuss these difficult topics before it's too late. She ends the book with ten wise suggestions for improving relationships in her chapter "Do Unto Your In-laws." She makes an important statement about how to begin:
We need to see ourselves truthfully and then change our behaviors and attitudes to achieve better results. We all can benefit from self-awareness so that we do not accuse others of causing our displeasure, when the dissatisfaction lies within ourselves.
Wise words that take practice, practice, practice.
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My New Book Is Available on Amazon I'm thrilled to announce the publication of my new book, When Being a Grandma Isn't So Grand: 4 Keys to L.O.V.E. Your Grandchild's Parents. Buy the paperback on Amazon for $7.50. Buy the ebook on Barnes & Noble for $5.99.
For nine years I've been listening to what all of you have to say about the joys and challenges of being a grandma. I realized that in order to help us grandmas improve our relationship with our grandchild's parents--especially their moms--we need to hear what moms have to say about their role in the grandparent relationship. By understanding each other's perspectives, I hope that we'll have more empathy for one another. To understand the mom's viewpoint, I created a survey with eight questions about the challenges of parenting, their primary sources of conflict, and advice for grandparents. Fifty moms responded and many said it was a therapeutic experience to write on the survey what they wished they could say in person to their parents and in-laws. I've included their wisdom in the second half of my book. We all know that parenting and grandparenting present challenges. When Being a Grandma Isn't So Grand addresses some of those challenges and can be a starting point for helping you explore solutions for handling them.
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Programs for Our 2012 Meetings
The following programs are planned for the rest of the year so be sure to mark your calendar for these dates.
November 4, 2012
How to write your autobiography guided by trained facilitator Ann Stevenson.
December 6, 2012
Celebrate the 9th anniversary of the GaGa Sisterhood hosted by Carol Woodard again this year.
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The GaGa Zone
Please continue sending me pictures and stories of you with your grandchildren for the GaGa Zone.|
Patrick, Caroline, and Katherine, three of Martha's six Minneapolis grandchildren, got carried away with their bubblebath!
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