September 25, 2014

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I imagine that all of you have heard about Inbal's death on September 6, 2014. (You can read her obituary here.) For the last two months of her life, I put more and more of the rest of my life on hold to be with her as much as I could. Now, two weeks later, as I begin, so very tentatively, to piece together a life without her, writing this newsletter, and the piece that I wrote about my experience of accompanying her and beyond, are the first forays into expanding my focus that I am taking on.

What I didn't write about and want to speak to here is the bittersweet celebration about the work that was done in Europe without me being there. Once it became clear that Inbal wasn't going to get better, I didn't see any way to leave. Seven years before, when Inbal's tumors were first discovered, two days before she was scheduled to lead a family camp, her two assistants were catapulted overnight into primary leadership, and she got to experience her work being carried forward, from then until her death, even while she was unable to attend to it. Now, as she was nearing her death, the same happened to me.

Sabine (far left) and Roxy (beside her) lead the Polish retreat

I had been going to lead one of my Leveraging Your Influence (LYI) retreats in Poland. Pulling together a team from the Bay Area, New York, and Germany to replace me was an island of joy within the immense focus on Inbal's well-being and the mobilization I was experiencing. Because Uma Lo from New York has been a member of the design team of my LYI retreats, I knew she had deep familiarity with the materials and with my vision for these retreats, and that she would be able to carry that to Poland, where Roxy Manning from BayNVC and Sabine Geiger from Germany would be leading the LYI retreat without ever having participated in one before. I got email reports throughout the work, an unexpected punctuation of my engagement with Inbal and the circle surrounding her in the last few days. This team took ownership of the material and led their own way, exactly what I would have hoped for.

Even though I had known through Inbal's experience how potent that kind of transformation can be, I still was deeply affected by the success of the work in Poland, followed by Roxy's teaching two workshops I had planned to lead in the Netherlands. Between this experience, and the number of small and large projects that continued with others' work and leadership, something fundamental is coming into being inside me. I believe this possibility of things being done without me is a large contributor to the emerging shift in how I see my future. I now have more and more clarity that what I want is to shift my focus from training to writing, and that having others work with my materials and designs as well as manage the work, is a key element in this move. More on this, as it unfolds, in the coming months.

Click here to read my blog about my recent experiences with Inbal's end of life. If you want to read the few other bits since the last newsletter, click here. And, if you are drawn to participate in an ongoing group that will be engaging with Jewish text and how it relates to our lives and to NVC, click here, and feel free to invite others. 

In sadness, and still in hope and peace,

Miki Kashtan

No One Left Behind: The Art and Craft of Convergent Facilitation 

November 3 - 4 in Rochester, NY

Info and register here

2 days training for anyone and everyone who is involved with group decision making. 

Spinning Threads of Radical Aliveness 

Brainstorm local events!

Book available here

Miki's first book, Spinning Threads of Radical Aliveness: Transcending the Legacy of Separation in our Individual Lives, has been incredibly well-received by people all over the world. We'd love to have opportunities to read in local bookstores and at local events. If you live in the Bay Area or if Miki is coming to your hometown for a workshop, let us know if you have contacts or ideas for local events.  

And please continue spreading the word if you know anyone else that may benefit from this extraordinary work. 

In May, Miki published her second book, and this one one is much simpler, but with the same depth and richness that Miki always delivers. With grace, acuity, and humor, she has shared with thousands of people on five continents how to live, in every moment, from love, courage, and truth - the three hallmarks of nonviolence. This little book contains 200 concise, evocative distillations of her wisdom, illustrated with powerful and original images. It is an invitation to you to bring more courage to your life.