September 25, 2014



I imagine that all of you have heard about Inbal's death on September 6, 2014. (You can read her obituary here.) For the last two months of her life, I put more and more of the rest of my life on hold to be with her as much as I could. Now, two weeks later, as I begin, so very tentatively, to piece together a life without her, writing this newsletter, and the piece that I wrote about my experience of accompanying her and beyond, are the first forays into expanding my focus that I am taking on.


What I didn't write about and want to speak to here is the bittersweet celebration about the work that was done in Europe without me being there. Once it became clear that Inbal wasn't going to get better, I didn't see any way to leave. Seven years before, when Inbal's tumors were first discovered, two days before she was scheduled to lead a family camp, her two assistants were catapulted overnight into primary leadership, and she got to experience her work being carried forward, from then until her death, even while she was unable to attend to it. Now, as she was nearing her death, the same happened to me.

Sabine (far left) and Roxy (beside her) lead the Polish retreat

I had been going to lead one of my Leveraging Your Influence (LYI) retreats in Poland. Pulling together a team from the Bay Area, New York, and Germany to replace me was an island of joy within the immense focus on Inbal's well-being and the mobilization I was experiencing. Because Uma Lo from New York has been a member of the design team of my LYI retreats, I knew she had deep familiarity with the materials and with my vision for these retreats, and that she would be able to carry that to Poland, where Roxy Manning from BayNVC and Sabine Geiger from Germany would be leading the LYI retreat without ever having participated in one before. I got email reports throughout the work, an unexpected punctuation of my engagement with Inbal and the circle surrounding her in the last few days. This team took ownership of the material and led their own way, exactly what I would have hoped for.


Even though I had known through Inbal's experience how potent that kind of transformation can be, I still was deeply affected by the success of the work in Poland, followed by Roxy's teaching two workshops I had planned to lead in the Netherlands. Between this experience, and the number of small and large projects that continued with others' work and leadership, something fundamental is coming into being inside me. I believe this possibility of things being done without me is a large contributor to the emerging shift in how I see my future. I now have more and more clarity that what I want is to shift my focus from training to writing, and that having others work with my materials and designs as well as manage the work, is a key element in this move. More on this, as it unfolds, in the coming months.


Click here to read my blog about my recent experiences with Inbal's end of life. If you want to read the few other bits since the last newsletter, click here. And, if you are drawn to participate in an ongoing group that will be engaging with Jewish text and how it relates to our lives and to NVC, click here, and feel free to invite others. 


In sadness, and still in hope and peace,


Miki Kashtan

The Art & Craft of Dialogue, through the NVC Academy

Sept 26th (12:30-1:45 Pacific Time). Come enjoy a free taste and demonstration!

The program: Dialogue With the World at Large: Oct 3-31 (4 sessions, skips Oct 17)

Miki's teaching usually focuses on deep inner and outer transformation... Not so with this unique telecourse! This time Miki will be keeping her eagle-eye on sharing practical, useable approaches and tips you'll be able to readily apply to your workplace life. Her goal is to help you greatly increase the comfort and satisfaction you feel in your life by knowing how to approach your conversations with others. 
The Fearless Heart
Sunday, October 12: 10:30m-12pm PST
Thursday, October 16 : 5:30pm-7pm PST
Join Miki to talk about recent posts on her blog. The Fearless Heart blends theory, deep spiritual wisdom, vulnerable sharing of personal insights and experiences, radical vision, and practical tips for everyday living. Miki's interactive style of teaching focuses on the needs and interests of those who call in, whether they know her work well or are meeting it for the first time. 
Upcoming Retreats
F.U.N. Conference with Jeff Brown & Mary Mackenzie
5-day retreat: October 16-20, 2014

What if there was a conference that provided fellowship at the same time as it taught you how to create and sustain NVC groups in your community? What if you could build groups of fellow NVC enthusiasts in your life and at work, providing opportunity for practice, skill-building and companionship even after you get back homePlease join Mary MackenzieJeff Brown, Roxy Manning, Christine King, Miki and friends at the 2nd annual F.U.N. Conference (Forming, Uniting and Nurturing NVC Communities) in Mountain View, California. 

Leveraging Your Influence Using NVC: East Coast Retreat
6-day retreat: November 7-12, 2014

Can you imagine living NVC so fully that all the people you meet each day are affected by its profound gifts? Join this immersion-learning retreat practicing visionary leadership with Miki Kashtan in upstate New York. The vision of Leveraging Your Influence is to accelerate the transition to a needs-based world by actively integrating the three aspects of nonviolence -- love, truth, and courage - into the very fabric of our everyday lives so they can serve as the foundation and organizing principle of our relationships and work in the world. 

Esalen, Big Sur, California
A Weekend with Miki at Esalen
The Power of Dialogue: Finding Solutions that Work for Everyone
December 5-7, 2014
Dialogue is the alchemical power that transforms mere talking into relational magic. It is the essential ingredient necessary to build and sustain all relationships - casual, formal, intimate, or distant. Embracing dialogue is about transcending the legacy of separation, scarcity, and powerlessness... 
 East Coast Workshop

No One Left Behind: The Art and Craft of Convergent Facilitation 
November 3 - 4 in Rochester, NY


2 days training for anyone and everyone who is involved with group decision making. 

 Support the Reach of Miki's New Books
Spinning Threads of Radical Aliveness 
Brainstorm local events!


Miki's first book, Spinning Threads of Radical Aliveness: Transcending the Legacy of Separation in our Individual Lives, has been incredibly well-received by people all over the world. We'd love to have opportunities to read in local bookstores and at local events. If you live in the Bay Area or if Miki is coming to your hometown for a workshop, let us know if you have contacts or ideas for local events.  


And please continue spreading the word if you know anyone else that may benefit from this extraordinary work. 

The Little Book of Courageous Living
Buy for a friend!


In May, Miki published her second book, and this one one is much simpler, but with the same depth and richness that Miki always delivers. With grace, acuity, and humor, she has shared with thousands of people on five continents how to live, in every moment, from love, courage, and truth - the three hallmarks of nonviolence. This little book contains 200 concise, evocative distillations of her wisdom, illustrated with powerful and original images. It is an invitation to you to bring more courage to your life. 

Support BayNVC if you shop at Amazon
We're not suggesting you shop at Amazon rather than at some independent alternative. But if you are shopping there anyway you can register on AmazonSmile to support BayNVC (or any favorite charitable organization) and they will give us 0.5% of every eligible purchase you buy, at no cost to you. Register here.
Request for support
Donating frequent flyer miles
Christine Raine, who lives in Costa Rica and is gaining extraordinary momentum in bringing NVC to the governmental sector, businesses, and the public at large, is making plans to apprentice with me (Miki) for several weeks starting in November. This is a rare opportunity for her to receive support she needs to be as effective as possible in offering NVC at such a high level and for me to have the experience of someone accompanying me and learning with and from me so intensively. In order to make this possible, Christine would need access to one or more people who are willing to donate miles, as she will need to travel from Costa Rica to NY, from there to the Bay Area, to MN and back, and then back to Costa Rica. If you have miles you can donate for this cause, please contact Adriana Skura.
The Circle of Support is Growing!
Consider Joining Miki's Circle of Support
Miki's Circle of Support now has 28 members with a total monthly donation of $575. At the same time, 172 people have signed up for her first fully gifted offering -- The Fearless Heart teleseminars above -- while another 90 attended her free Cultivating Inner Freedom workshop in Oakland, with only 12 people overlapping the lists of givers and receivers. The uncoupling of giving from receiving is happening, and this is wonderful news!  Read more about Miki's vision and consider joining here.