NEW!  NVC Success Stories


A Success Story
For five years Jean Meier worked in a government agency as a vocational rehabilitation counselor for people with disabilities. Leaving the office on her last day, she said goodbye to the office staff, including a secretary with whom she'd had little contact.  "You're going to be missed," the secretary said. "I'm used to having clients complain and even yell at me. But that doesn't happen with your clients. They always seem less stressed than the others."

Jean told me this story when I asked how her life had been affected by learning NVC. I fantasized that the secretary had followed up: "What's your secret, Jean? . . . Really? Just NVC? Then I have no sympathy for the other counselors; they, too, could've learned NVC." In reality the secretary had never heard of NVC. We want to change this situation.

An Announcement

BayNVC is launching "NVC Success Stories," a new corner of our website in which we'll post stories, every month, that demonstrate NVC making a difference in the world. Our hope is to create a resource that anyone sharing NVC with others can use.

A Request
Where do we get these stories? From friends like you. Would you be willing to share your NVC success stories on the BayNVC website? If so, please read on!

What types of stories do we want?

  • Stories of how NVC has made a difference in your own life. For example: "I was unaware that I often spoke longer than people enjoyed listening. Because NVC teachers and empathy buddies gave me this 'hard to hear message' with compassion, I was able to hear it and change my behavior." -- Kathy Wilcox
  • Stories of how your NVC practice has made a difference in someone else's life. For example, using NVC skills, Jean Meier interacted with her clients in a way that left them seeming less anxious than other clients -- in the opinion of a third-party observer who interacted with all clients.
  • Stories of valuable experiences that probably wouldn't have occurred without NVC in your life. For example, after Eliane Geren listened empathically to an incarcerated man (who she probably would never have met if she hadn't been inspired to teach NVC in a prison), she was surprised to hear him say he'd just cried for the first time in 25 years. 
  • Stories of trying a new response to an old problem -- and enjoying the results
    . For example, during a conversation "Bob Smith's" partner, Sheila, got annoyed at him and stopped speaking. When Bob asked a question, Sheila said nothing and rolled her eyes. Bob was tempted to respond, "Why are you rolling your eyes? My question was perfectly reasonable!" Instead he asked, "Are you feeling exasperated because we've discussed this topic so often it's hard to trust that any more talk at this moment will be helpful?" Sheila's eyes widened and she said, "Absolutely! I'm exhausted!" Surprised and pleased that Bob had acknowledged her feelings, she was willing to re-join the conversation -- to some extent.   

  • Stories about the power of dialogue. These could be in any of the categories above. What makes them special is that they contain a "transcript" of an actual conversation. Such stories, in addition to being placed on the website, might be used in teaching, to show people what an actual dialogue might sound like, and what makes it successful.

How do you submit a story?
Send your story to Kathy Wilcox:

Stories told over the phone will be written up and sent to the storyteller for approval before being posted.

Celebration Time!
Do you have a story of success that you're willing to share with us and the world? It's time to celebrate! Hope to hear from you soon!

How has YOUR life been affected by learning NVC?