As anyone with children these days knows, bullying is a hot topic and, indeed, a major concern in our society.  As Head of School, I make it a priority to read articles and attend workshop seminars on the topic, since bullying is incompatible with the values and environment St. Francis School works deliberately to espouse and maintain.  

 

Recently, I read an article in The Huffington Post about the difference between bullying behavior and more "normal" (albeit unacceptable) mean and rude behavior.  It provided an apt reminder:  there are indeed many childhood and adolescent behaviors that are inappropriate, but they do not necessarily fall into the category of bullying.  Thankfully, most often at St. Francis we experience the "normal" behavior and work to correct it, rather than actual bullying.  

 

The article, entitled "Rude vs. Mean vs. Bullying: Defining the Differences," by Signe Whitson, can be found by clicking here. 

 

This article is consistent with many others that I have read, as well as with the presentations and educational workshops I have attended on the subject of bullying.  The experts agree on the three things that identify bullying: 1) the behavior is intentional and the intent is to harm; 2) there is a true imbalance of power between the bully (the powerful one) and the victim (the one with no power); 3) the aggressive behavior or threats are consistent and repeated over time.  Bullying can involve physical aggression, verbal aggression, or relational aggression (using one's relationships to isolate and exclude others and/or inflict harm); in addition, bullying does not have to happen in person but can also be conducted over the internet (social media, in particular).  

 

I'd like to talk a bit more about the three defining characteristics.  First, a bully's behavior is intentional and meant to harm -- in other words, the actions are premeditated, planned out, and specifically meant to inflict harm, physical or emotional, on a specific target.  The converse means that a bully's actions are not spur-of-the-moment, and not a reaction to something the victim does or says.  Victims rarely have a voice or even a true role at all in these situations; they are passive recipients.  A bully's behaviors often fit a pattern -- knowing when to abuse the victims and exactly how to do it in order to avoid being caught.  In fact, the behavior often occurs when no adults are around; for example, while walking home from school or at a bus stop.  

 

The second characteristic defining bullying is that there is an imbalance of power.  The bully is the one with all the power and the one who can control others around him or her, and the victim is powerless and isolated.  This imbalance is extremely clear and is static over time.  One way to think about this is that bullying behavior cannot exist if the two children involved are friends and possess similar levels of social power. Bullying does not involve a "give-and-take" between two children -- in a bullying relationship, there is clearly one who acts and one who receives. Even "mean girl" behavior is not always bullying (although extreme "mean girl" behavior does fall into the social bullying category), and bullying is not occurring when two children are friends but just not getting along at a given time.  It is common for friendships to morph and change over time, and for classmates to get along well at times, and not so well at other times; it is also not uncommon for children to treat each other poorly at times and to be downright mean on occasion.  Meanness is not always bullying; the consistent, clear power differential must be there.

 

Finally, a bully's behavior is consistent and repeated over time.  In other words, bullies know exactly what they are doing and their behavior occurs repeatedly over a long time period -- it is not something that crops up occasionally or intermittently, and, again, it does not occur in reaction to the victim's behavior.  Most bullies act on their victims every single day.  

Many cases of bullying occur in smaller towns, in public schools, against kids who do not fit "the norm".  These kids may be somewhat eccentric, suffer from learning differences, or just be different than what is accepted in their school or community.  The most frequent and horrific cases occur against children and adolescents who are gay or transgender.  These situations are truly heartbreaking and in the worst cases can even tragically end in suicide.  These bullying victims often have no advocates, even among the adults in their lives, including their parents and the teachers and administrators at their their schools.  This is not necessarily because none of the adults care, but often the child being bullied does not want to tell anyone for fear of being "outed."

 

I am truly grateful that bullying is far less prevalent at a school like St. Francis, and I attribute it to several things.  The first is simply our Mission, an important part of which is "to celebrate individuality".  We talk frequently with kids about the fact that it's their differences that make them special and unique, and that we are lucky because we have the opportunity to learn from others who are different from us.  This helps to eliminate the stigma of not falling within "the norm". Second, being small is also a great benefit in that we all know each other, and in particular, the teachers know every student well.  There is no way for a student to hide or be invisible.  Of course, we don't always know everything going on with every student, which is also why the third attribute that is critical is our partnership with parents.  Together, we can ensure that we are aware when students are experiencing challenges in their lives, and that we get them whatever help may be needed.   

 

Childhood is a tumultuous time in terms of relationships -- friendships come and go, changing over time as people change.  Most childhood social challenges are part of the adversity that we all face as we grow up, and learning to overcome them can make us stronger.  Experiencing bullying, on the other hand, can be truly damaging, and significant intervention is necessary.  While bullying could occur in any school, it is unlikely at St. Francis, and even less so when we -- parents and school -- partner together to help our students solve problems. 

Highlights from the Downtown Campus

On Friday, March 21, St. Francis School hosted its annual Grandparents' Day at the Downtown campus. We are delighted to report that this year's Grandparents' Day saw a record attendance of over 50 grandparents! The day was packed with activity as grandparents attended classes, toured the campus, and enjoyed a delicious lunch catered by local favorite, Ramsi's Cafe on the World! Thank you to our Downtown Parent Association for their time and talents in volunteering, Downtown Parents Ramsi and Rhona Kamar for a delicious lunch from "Ramsi's Cafe on the World," and to all grandparents who attended. This was truly a special day for all of us!

  

Ben Bass '15 was recognized as having one of the top 10 images in the Environment Category in the Youth Competition of the Sony World Photography Awards 2014.  139,554 images were submitted to the competition this year!

Gilman Bagga '16 notched second place in the Kentucky High School Chess Championship.  Gilman is a noted chess aficionado whose win in this tournament last year made him the only Kentucky student to ever win state titles at every age level.   

From left: Michelle Jones '15, Nina Erbes '15, Rose Gilbert '16, Kinsey Morrison '14, Joe Harlan '14, Fiona Eden '14, Sam Edwards-Kuhn '16, and Gilman Bagga '16.

When the Olmsted Parks Conservancy named its top volunteers for 2013, St. Francis was recognized for the second year in a row as "Most Awesome School Group." Olmsted Parks is one of the many service sites students and faculty/staff from the St. Francis Downtown Campus visit in groups six times per year for a half day each time in our comprehensive all-school service program.  

The St. Francis Drama Project spring play production of Shakespeare's

The Pegasus Parade is May 1st and, as always, goes right past the Downtown Campus on Broadway!  As such, we are once again selling seats and food, plus we'll have activities, tailgating, indoor restrooms, parking and so much more!  It's the best way to experience one of the key events in ether Derby Festival, plus support your School. If you are on the Preschool or Goshen Campus, it' also a great way to see the Downtown Campus.  

Stay tuned for the ticket order forms.

The ever-popular fundraiser for the "moms" at St, Francis is quickly coming up. Mojito Mamas is being hosted by Beverly Lancaster this year and we already have 25 of the 50 tickets sold.  Tickets are $50 each.  If you would like to join us that evening, please contact Emily Carter-Essex soon!

Happenings at the 

Goshen Campus

Happenings at the 

Downtown Campus

Community Service Day

Around the 

Downtown Campus