Volume 23 No. 6
February 5, 2016

"Dancing In The Sky" (excerpt)
Cause Here on earth it feels like everything... good is missing, since you left
And here on earth everything's different, there's an emptiness

Oh-oh, I,
I hope you're dancing in the sky
I hope you're singing in the angels choir
I hope the angels, know what they have
I bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived
 
 
you might be a nurse if. . .
1.  You avoid unhealthy looking people in the mall for fear they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
 
2.  You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and 12 earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."
 
3.  You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
 
4.  You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
 
5.  You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
the fifteen funniest church bulletin bloopers!
  1. The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00.  Please use the back door.
  2. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight.  Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  3. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m.  Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
  4. Ushers will eat latecomers.
  5. Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
  6. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need all the help they can get.
  7. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
  8. Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to the church secretary.
  9. Potluck supper; prayer and medication to follow.
  10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  11. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow.
  12. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.  It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Bring your husbands.
  13. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
  14. Announcement in a church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals."
  15. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.  All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

 




VIEW OUR EVENT CALENDAR for Conferences, Meetings, Webinars and Training





 
Newsletter Archives
THOUGHT PROVOKING QUOTES
"Nursing encompasses an art, a humanistic orientation, a feeling for the value of the individual, and an intuitive sense of ethics, and of the appropriateness of action taken."  -Myrtle Aydelotte

"Trust your hunches.  They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level." -Dr. Joyce Brothers

"Home lies in the things you carry with you everywhere and not in the things that tie you down." -Pico Iyer

"If you are creative, you get busier as you get older."  -Tony Bennett

"The word happiness exists in every language; it is plausible the thing itself exists." -Jorge Luis Borges

"When you're my age, you'll see that it is wiser to make your own decisions than let time make decisions for you."  -Charles Finch

"Sometimes human nature can leave you looking just a little shamefaced."  -Philip Kerr

"The expectations that others place on us help us form our expectations of ourselves.." -Wes Moore

"Concealing an illness is like keeping a beach ball underwater." -Karen Duffy

"Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs." -Kim Hubbard

"I have been everywhere because I don't know what I'm looking for." -E.L. Doctorow
"Half the harm done in this world is due to people who want to feel important." -T.S. Eliot

"There are many more ways to be attractive than to be beautiful." -William Landay

"To succeed in life you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone." -Reba McEntire
 

Copyright © 2015. All Rights Reserved.