Thermographic Diagnostic Imaging
Health Through Awareness
April 2016 newsletter
Be Aware, Listening and Engaged words on papers pinned to a bulletin or message board to illustrate the need to pay attention when managing an organization
Be Aware, Listening and Engaged words on papers pinned to a bulletin or message board to illustrate the need to pay attention when managing an organization
There is no greater distance between two people than misunderstanding.  Understanding others is the sweet spot in life where we learn, connect, inspire, innovate and collaborate. 
                            - From the book "The Power of Curiosity" by Kathy Taberner and Kirsten Siggins.
 
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood.  The best way to understand people is to listen to them. 
                             - Ralph Nichols, Founding member of the International Listening Association
 
If you ever need a good laugh, Google auto-corrected texts. I was trying to find an appropriate example (no foul language) to put in this newsletter and I was laughing so hard I fell off my stool.  
 
I've got to tell you something.
Are you sitting down?
 
I am actually. What's up mom?
 
Your brother was adopted!
What??? What are you talking about? Why are you telling me this over a text? Call me.
 
Oh this d*mn phone. I wrote he 
was accepted and the phone changed 
it to adopted.  He was accepted to Yale!    

Talk about lost in translation!!!

 
I recently had the chance to spend some real quality time with one of my brothers.  He is the CFO of a large, prestigious company and in the course of our time together I was able to hear the way he communicates with his peers and the people who report to him.  He has wonderful listening and communication skills and has a way of getting to the heart of the matter which is very inclusive, open, and collaborative.  His approach is to look for solutions instead of just pointing out problems and he guides those reporting to him to be solution-oriented as well.  Our time together was very enlightening and inspired me to improve my communication skills.     

In a recent Globe and Mail interview with Brigid Schulte, author of "Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time," she pointed out that North Americans feel they are time constrained which impacts their ability to be curious.  Our offices are now our home; our homes are now our offices.  Technology tracks our every move, "connecting" us with friends on social media. Expectations of people are high and people are trying to do everything at once.  As a consequence, our communication is brief and shallow, leaving little room for listening, inquiry, and understanding.   

Does this age of texting and emailing make it easier or harder to communicate?  Even in business it has become accepted to text back and forth or send quick, short emails bursts as if you were texting. Texting is a good tool to get brief points across like confirming an appointment; however, when more dialogue is necessary or the topic is of importance, misunderstanding can be diminished by talking. 

Some days I feel like all I do is answer emails and text messages and, given the choice, I prefer talking.
One day this week I picked up my calculator and started typing away.  It took me a frustrating minute or two to realize why I couldn't send a message from it!!  

                                          
As Elvis sang in a song he recorded for the movie Change of Habit                                                            "Stop, Look and Listen baby that's my  philosophy        
(sounds like good advice)
                             Liesha
Here's a simple exercise: when you need to interact with another person do you ask to 'speak to them' or 'speak with them?'  This subtle shift in perspective can markedly change the quality of that interaction. It moves the interchange from one of control to one of collaboration.  This is not unlike substituting the word 'and' for 'but', which changes an implied negative into an opportunity to see other potentials in a situation or circumstance.
Speaking 'with', however, demands space, and that is where listening comes in.  Listening is the means for creating that space, expanding the tone and texture of a conversation.  It also gets us out of the way, which is important because within the context of authentic social interchange, it is often we who are the greatest obstacle.
Another aspect of listening is asking questions.  Very often we fail to ask simple questions and leave others feeling like they are not being heard.  Not asking questions is very much like imposing ourselves because we are being presumptive about another person's needs or wishes, rather than making an effort to establish them as they really are.
Lastly, we need to hear the other person.  This is something that is both symbolic and concrete.  We do need to hold space, hold our tongue and genuinely listen, but we also need to suspend our need to impose ourselves so the other person has the space to interject their needs in a tangible way.  If, then, the person with whom we are speaking is also listening, an authentic interchange ensues.
At this point, you might be thinking, "Well, that's easy - it's just common sense."  Is it, though?  Try a little exercise in introspective self-control.  How long can you be still without interjecting yourself into someone else's discourse?  When someone is speaking with you, where are you in the conversation? --have you already formed an opinion with which you are just waiting to intercede, or are you actually listening and considering the other person's position---even if you don't agree with it wholeheartedly.  Not as easy as you might first believe and, in a world where we generally answer a text within three seconds and an email in eight seconds, something that takes a fair amount of practice.

2012 Michael J. Formica(link is external), All Rights Reserved
Michael J. Formica, M.S., M A., Ed.M., is a psychotherapist, teacher and writer.  Hi is an initiate in the Shankya Yoga lineage of H.H. Sri Swami Rama and the Himalayan Masters. 

 

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Want to communicate better?
 
Improving Communication Skills in your work and personal relationships
It sounds so simple: say what you mean, mean what you say but don't say it mean.  But all too often, what we try to communicate gets lost in translation despite our best intentions.  We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue.
Fortunately, you can learn how to communicate more clearly and effectively. Whether you're trying to improve communication with your spouse, kids, boss, or coworkers, you can improve the communication skills that enable you to effectively connect with others, build trust and respect and feel heard and understood.  

What is effective communication?

Communication is about more than just exchanging information.  It's about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information.  Effective communication is also a two-way street.  It's not only how you convey a message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended, it's also how you listen to gain the full meaning of what's being said and to make the other person feel heard and understood.
More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including nonverbal communication, engaged listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and those of the person you're communicating with.
Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and improve teamwork, decision making, and problem solving.  It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.
While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it's spontaneous rather than formulaic.  A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech that's delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously.  Of course, it takes time and effort to develop these skills and become an effective communicator.  The more effort and practice you put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become. 

Improving communication skills #1: Become an engaged listener

People often focus on what they should say, but effective communication is less about talking and more about listening.  Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding the emotions the speaker is trying to communicate.

Improving communication skills #2: Pay attention to nonverbal signals

When we communicate things that we care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals.  Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing.  The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how you're feeling than words alone ever can.

Improving communication skills #3: Keep stress in check

To communicate effectively, you need to be aware of and in control of your emotions.  And that means learning how to manage stress.  When you're stressed, you're more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior.

Improving communication skills #4: Assert yourself

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and decision-making.  Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others.  It does NOT mean being hostile, aggressive, or demanding.  Effective communication is always about understanding the other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.

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Resources and references:

Effective Communication: Improving Your Social Skills - Learn how to communicate more effectively, improve your conversation skills, and be more assertive. (AnxietyBC)
Core Listening Skills - Find tips on how to be a better listener and identify and improve the things that are getting in your way. (SucceedSocially.com)
Effective Communication (PDF) - How to effectively communicate in groups using nonverbal communication and active listening techniques. (University of Maine)
Some Common Communication Mistakes - Overview of common mistakes that get in the way of effective communication and how you can avoid them. (SucceedSocially.com)
Active Listening: Hear What People are Really Saying - Understanding active listening, particularly as it applies to the workplace, and the steps you can take to become an active listener. (MindTools.com)

Effective communication: books

Porges, Stephen W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. New York: W.W. Norton & Company.
Sollier, Pierre (2005). Listening for Wellness: An Introduction to the Tomatis Method. The Mozart Center Press.
Authors: Lawrence Robinson, Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Melinda Smith, M.A. 
Last updated: March 2016.
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Overcoming Conflict- Here are three simple tips for coping with conflict.

Which is better, being right or being at peace?

In the middle of a conflict with a friend or loved one, it is easy to lose perspective and forget this question, but with practice you can create healthy relationship habits that carry through even the toughest of times.

Keep the conversation solution-centered.

Many times in an argument, both people push each other to only see the problem - one person harps on a mistake or a bad habit, and the other person becomes defensive of their behavior.  Instead, focus on possible solutions that will minimize drama and place you and your loved one on the same team, not pitted against each other.  Use these questions to keep the conversation solution-centered:

This relationship is very important to me and I want us to both be happy.  How do you think we can make that happen?

I think we are both very emotional about this right now, and I'm having trouble focusing on the solution. Can we talk in a few hours when we both can think clearly about what the problem is and how can we solve it?

How do you think we can resolve this with a win-win solution?

Conflicts repeat themselves.

Many arguments grow from a reoccurring conflict.  Perhaps you and your loved one fundamentally disagree on a sensitive subject, or they handle situations differently and it rubs you the wrong way. Engrained differences in character and perspective can lead to a loop of endless arguments. Fighting about it again and again does not usually resolve the root of the problem.  Try bringing the conversation to the next level - acknowledge that you both may never be on the same page about this issue.

How can you create a pattern that's productive and supports the relationship?

Is one of you willing to compromise on this problem?

Or perhaps you can agree to a trade-off so one person isn't carrying the entire burden of the problem?

Forgiveness.

Sincere forgiveness can be a tremendous relief and a simple strategy to overcome conflict. Remember everyone is human, makes mistakes, and comes into their relationships with a different perception of the world and their place in it.

Take your entire relationship with this person into consideration and ask, "Is focusing on this conflict good for me?  Will the relationship progress further with this conflict?"  If the answer is no, simple forgiveness might be the answer.

-Institute for Integrative Nutrition

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Please join us on Wednesday, April 20, 2016 (one week earlier than usual) from 7-8 p.m.for our next webinar.  Our presenter is Dr. Leo McCormick who will be discussing 
"How to get VIP Treatment from Your Physician."
With more and more people looking to incorporate holistic and alternative treatments into their medical care and with the wealth of information available on the internet, the dialogue between physician and patient is changing.  Patients are looking for a relationship that affords mutual respect and trust.  They want a doctor who will listen to them and have a conscious conversation about their needs and concerns.  The patient may want to approach a diagnosis in a less invasive way than conventional paradigms dictate or in a way that differs from accepted standard of care.  Dr. McCormick will provide guidelines in which the patient and their physician can meet in the middle for a mutually satisfying relationship with quality patient care being the primary focus.

Dr. McCormick truly believes that he can make a difference in people's lives through his practice of Chiropractic.  His doctorate was earned at the well-renowned Palmer College of Chiropractic in Davenport, IA.  He served an internship in patient care at the Palmer College Public Clinic where he was awarded the prestigious Gold Coat for his care and attention to patients.  After graduating Cum Laude in 1987, he returned to open a practice in Wayne, PA.  In 2001, he established his current practice in Pottstown and then opened a clinic in Elverson, PA in 2008.

Click here to register

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We hope you enjoyed our March 23rd "Evening with Elsie" webinar.  As always, Elsie brought forth her wonderful energy and enlightening information and led us on a lovely guided meditation. Thank you Elsie for a terrific program.

If you missed it, you can find it on our webinar page by clicking below.
 
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As you know, your confidence in TDI/Health through Awareness is our highest compliment.  If you find value in our webinars and newsletters and in the services we provide, please leave us a positive review on Google or Facebook. 
 
Disclaimer:  These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. The information in this newsletter is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. The contents of this newsletter are based upon the opinions and research of Liesha Getson and Health Through Awareness, unless otherwise noted. Individual articles are based upon the opinions of the respective author, who retains copyright as marked. The information in this newsletter is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. It is intended as a sharing of knowledge and information from the research and experience of Liesha Getson and Health Through Awareness. You are encouraged to make your own health care decisions based upon your research and in partnership with a qualified health care professional.
  
 
If you are interested in an individual holistic health coaching session, either in person, via Skype or by phone please contact me at the number listed below. 
Liesha Getson, BCTT, HHC
TDI/Health through Awareness
856-596-5834
856-596-0200 
100 Brick Road, Suite 206
Marlton, NJ 08053

TDI is the ONLY group I would recommend.  It is worth the time and it may save your life.  Thank you to
 Dr. Getson and Liesha Getson for dedicating your life 
to helping women fight breast cancer. ~ Lisa
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