The following is an excerpt from : The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and

Deserve (Tarcher/Penguin, 2011), by Amanda Owen  

"Appreciation is an excellent thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us, as well." ~Voltaire

While the old proverb tells us it is better to give than receive, countless people bemoan the absence of grateful receivers. Thank you letters seem to be a relic of the past and expressions of gratitude are often drowned out in a sea of complaints about what is wrong with the world.

When you get back nothing or little in response to what you give, it's natural to feel mystified or even resentful. Interestingly, our culture spends a lot of time on the value of giving, while little attention is paid to receiving. Yet, for every giver there is a receiver. And when something is not received well-whether it is candy, a gift, or a compliment-we notice!

With a little time left before the holiday season arrives, it's not too late to strengthen your ability to receive.

1. Notice what people do for you and thank them. 

Don't think for a second that a lack of acknowledgment or a refusal to receive is not noticed by the person who gave! When we don't receive graciously, we thwart an opportunity for connection and prevent a mutually satisfying transaction from occurring.

The simple expression of gratitude is one of the ways that we give back to the giver. It feels good for our giving to be received and it makes us want to give again! 

2. Accept compliments.

When people pay you a compliment, do you downplay what they are saying about you? Or do you thank them? If someone wants to do something for you, do you say something like, "Oh, you don't need to do that! I can handle it myself!"

Many people are uncomfortable accepting compliments and then wonder why people aren't kinder or don't help them out more. Receiving something as simple as a compliment is a huge statement about your willingness to receive the good things in life.

Even if you are uncomfortable accepting a compliment, kind words, or a gift, note that feeling and receive it. But still say, "Thank you."

3. Start a gratitude journal.

To be grateful is to be receptive to life's abundance. Gratitude is a state of mind, a way of seeing life, of noticing and relating to life. There are those who have an overall attitude of gratitude. Conversely, some people are rarely grateful-even when people bend over backward to give to them.

Appreciation and gratitude come from inside a person as a way of looking at life, as a way of being in life. It is completely independent of external circumstances. Start a journal where you can record every day at least five things for which you feel grateful.  

When you express your appreciation, when you respond graciously to compliments, offers of help, gifts (and candy!) you not only strengthen your relationship bonds, you create a life where people want to give to you as much as you give to them. You create a two-way street, giving sometimes and receiving at other times.

This holiday season, receive from the people who give to you. Listen to what they say, notice what they do, and most of all, respond with a sincere 'thank you!'