Busy.
Everyone is busy.

It is ever more important to stay connected with your child's mental health among busy schedules, and especially, their down time. What are they thinking and feeling?

Two tools I find helpful..

Asking, each day, what their day was like on a scale of 1-10, ten being the best day they could possibly have. This helps you to establish a baseline and to get important information, particularly from children who don't tend to want to talk a lot. When they come back with a 7, 8 or 9.5 each day, for example, and then one afternoon perhaps report that it was a "3," you will know to probe further. If not, you may miss an important opportunity.

A second tool I find useful is to ask kids each day to list 5 things they like about themselves. This is especially important for middle school aged children. The goal should be for them to rattle off their tongue what it is they love, appreciate and value about themselves. If they're stuck, that's your cue to spend some time reminding them what makes them who they are at their core. When they're answering, pay attention. Be present.

Ask these things, or questions like it, often, if not daily. And at bedtime, end the day by asking your child 5 things that they're grateful for. Eventually they develop the habit of doing this on their own. Research has shown that kids who think in terms of gratitude, exhibit less signs of depression and anxiety. In this busy world, is that not worth the time it takes?

Happy October!