Grieving Behind the Badge
March 2014
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Greetings!

Feelings and emotions. For many people, especially men, sharing your inner thoughts and talking about sensitive issues is difficult. 

 

We, as first responders, consistently see human tragedy and horrific scenes. If we are uncomfortable talking about them, disturbing feelings and emotions build up inside of us. Some people develop post traumatic stress, become abusive or violent, self-medicate with alcohol and / or addicting drugs, or sadly, choose suicide as a way to deal with nightmares and such.

 

Over the last several issues, I have seen a growing change in the Badge newsletter. Whether it is to help themselves or to reach out to others to let them know that they are not alone in their struggles, more and more first responders are coming forward and sharing their personal stories of nightmares, addiction, and family upset. I am so very proud that our newsletter is the vehicle to make this change happen. Thank you so very much!

PeggyCVFD  

Stay safe and HUGS,

Peggy Sweeney, Editor
830.377.7389

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Caring fOr Police Suicide Survivors
by Janice McCarthy
On March 5, 1993, my husband Paul had just gotten home from working an overnight shift and spending all day in court. It was just after 10 pm when I crawled into bed after checking on my 7- month-old, Shannon, who had been running a fever.

 

I was praying for a quiet night, whenthe phone ringing on the night table next to me pierced the silence. The station was calling for Paul. They had an open spot on the midnight shift. Did he want it? I was just about to say no when I heard his sleepy voice say, "I'll take it."

Crossing the Line
Blog Series by Maryanne Pope 

When Maryanne Pope's husband, Constable John Petropoulos, died in the line of duty in 2000 as the result of a preventable fall at an unsafe workplace, Maryanne went into a freefall of her own into grief and depression - and a determination to ensure positive change came from tragedy. Crossing the Line is a blog series about Maryanne's experience of coming to terms with her husband's death and working with the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund to help create a culture of safer workplaces for everyone, including emergency responders. Though Maryanne's professional commitment has been as an advocate for the physical safety of first responders, much of her writing and public speaking has been about the emotional, psychological and spiritual impacts of learning to accept the unacceptable and transform hurt into hope. 
 
Second in the series:

Read Protecting the Line by Maryanne Pope

PTSD: What is It?
by Bob Rabe
PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a new name for an old story and there are many complexities to its definition. The name, recognizing a medical condition, was coined several years after the onset of the Vietnam War. Similar symptoms demonstrated by soldiers following the Civil War were called nostalgia. GIs during WWI were said to have shell shock. Military personnel from WWII and the Korean Conflict were suffering combat fatigue. No matter what term is used, the symptoms are the same. 
Read More »
Fighting the Devil Within 
by Don Prince
None of us ever wants to admit defeat. It is not in our nature.  What makes it even more difficult for people like us is what we do.  We are the ones going in, giving aid, support, sacrifices and sometimes even our lives in order to save others.  We are supposed to be the invincible ones and for the most part we are. But ultimately we are all human; we act and react differently to situations both in and out of the "job". 

 

Pressure, stress and pain are pretty much unavoidable in all forms: both physical and mental or a combination of any of them.   How each one of us deals with these stresses; such as self-medicating and isolating, is what separates us from our families, loved ones and careers.

No More Alarms
by Bob Devonshire

It was the 25th of September in the old firehouse,
No lives needed saving or fires to douse.
The aroma of coffee drifted up through the air,
As we waited for the next shift, that soon to be there.

We talked of our brothers, of family and friend,
How we wanted to be home, with them again.
Hanging in silence, out in the bay
Our gear at the ready, night and day.

When from under the glow of the light, high above,
We heard a sound; from a wing of a dove.
A sound that can be heard by Jakes young and old
A new recruit will arrive, is what we are told. 

Read More »

Good Stuff

by Kevin Coffey
OK, I've got this theory. It goes like this: The greatest concentration of pure unadulterated good in your town is at the fire station. Yes, I'm serious. Sure, I may have a bit of a skewed predisposition from being in the fire service for the past 34 years. But something happens in the heart of the man or woman who puts on the firefighter's uniform. It may not be as outwardly dramatic as Superman's phone booth transformation, but I believe it is nonetheless an invitation to an inner transformation from God (He's just above Superman). It is a transformation from average citizen to a community doer of good. The seeds of that good were already planted in the soil of your heart when you were initially drawn to the fire service. 

 Read More»

What Are These Tears Falling From My Eyes?
by Tami Bulik
What are these tears falling from my eyes?

They are the hopes and dreams of a mother's love as we tried to breathe

life back into her firstborn son.

 

What are these tears falling from my eyes?
They are the broken promises, hurtful words, and fists thrown at a beautiful young woman who collapsed in my arms as her soul slipped away to booze and drugs.
They are the football scholarships and future play-off dreams of the high school football star thrown off the back of a 4-wheeler racing down a gravel road.

Read More »
The Onion Field
by John Chiusolo
September 16, 1970 was a sad day in Jersey City, New Jersey. At approximately 8:00 p.m. that evening, a 12 year old girl named Pamela Dial (daughter of Firefighter John Dial) walked outside of her home at 9 Bleecker Street, at which time she was coerced and kidnapped by a scumbag named Joseph Kuklinski - brother of the infamous murderer, "Iceman". He took her and her dog to the roof of 438 Central Avenue. He gave her an alcoholic beverage, raped and killed her on his rooftop makeshift bedroom. He threw her off of the roof along with her dog. She died and the dog lived. The Jersey City Police made an arrest within hours. Kuklinski died in Trenton State Prison. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.
Read More »

That is a Combat Disorder....

by Joel Holbrook
If you ask anyone who knew me growing up, "tell me something about Joel?" They would reply, "He always wanted to be a firefighter."  
 
I am not sure what my fascination was, but it was something I wanted to do when I grew up.  But, like most teens, there were other things I wanted to do as well.  So, before graduation, I enlisted in the Marine Corps.  I was deemed medically unfit, due to a childhood diagnoses of Tourette's Syndrome.
Read More »
BOOKS OF INTEREST
Visions of Courage: The Bobby Smith Story
by Dr. Bobby E. Smith
Bobby Smith was a Trooper in Louisiana and was critically wounded while preforming a routine traffic stop, on March 14, 1986. He was shot in the face with a 12-gauge shotgun by a crazed killer. Bobby Smith is an authentic hero who has not only fallen but, through his personal determination and help from his family and friends, has successfully triumphed over his own adversities. 
Click HERE to View Our Full Booklist  
The Sweeney Alliance
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The Sweeney Alliance, a Texas-based 501(c)(3) corporation, has been a leader in educational resources addressing the emotional needs of families and emergency responders since 1992. In the last 2+ years, we have published over 385 articles on loss and grief, post traumatic stress and other "hot topics". All newsletters are free of charge for our subscribers. Your donation today will help us continue as a FREE publication. Thank you!  

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