Grieving Behind the Badge Newsletter

Grieving Behind the Badge
January 2014

Greetings!

Once again, a great newsletter! Thank you to everyone who took the time to share their thoughts, experiences, and insights for you, our readers. Several of our authors have told me that writing has been very cathartic and has helped them deal with some unpleasant memories.

With this issue, I am pleased to introduce Maryanne Pope with her recurring column, Crossing the Line. This will be a twelve part series about the line of duty death in 2000 of her husband, Constable John Petropoulos, and her personal journey of grief and healing.

Stay safe in 2014 and thank you for your support.

Stay safe and HUGS,

Peggy Sweeney, Editor

peggy@sweeneyalliance.org

830.377.7389

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Suicide. A View From the Nozzle End of the Problem

by Peggy Sweeney
Originally published by request in the Carolina Fire Rescue EMS Journal

Suicide is a major, preventable public health problem. According to the Centers for Disease Control, in 2010 it was the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, accounting for 38,364 deaths. Based on data about suicides in sixteen National Violent Death Reporting System states in 2009, 33.3% of suicide decedents tested positive for alcohol, 23% for antidepressants, and 20.8% for opiates, including heroin and prescription pain killers. One of the major risk factors for suicide is depression, or a substance-abuse disorder (often in combination with other mental disorders). More than 90 percent of people who die by suicide have these risk factors. (Moscicki, 2001)

Firefighting contributes many elements of stress and trauma that greatly exaggerate depression. As a firefighter, you are placed in life-threatening situations and witness human injury and death regularly. Yet, no one else in your department seems to be troubled by these events or talks about the recurring nightmares that you experience as the result of these horrific scenes. You quickly learn to hide your feelings so that you are not bullied for your weakness.

Crossing the Line

Blog Series by Maryanne Pope

When Maryanne Pope's husband, Constable John Petropoulos, died in the line of duty in 2000 as the result of a preventable fall at an unsafe workplace, Maryanne went into a freefall of her own into grief and depression - and a determination to ensure positive change came from tragedy. Crossing the Line is a blog series about Maryanne's experience of coming to terms with her husband's death and working with the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund to help create a culture of safer workplaces for everyone, including emergency responders. Though Maryanne's professional commitment has been as an advocate for the physical safety of first responders, much of her writing and public speaking has been about the emotional, psychological and spiritual impacts of learning to accept the unacceptable and transform hurt into hope.

Read The Awakening: Tragedy as a Wake-Up Call by Maryanne Pope

Stigma and PTSD

by DTT

Why must I hide behind a moniker? This is a common practice for people with Mental Illness. We have to hide lest we be judged by society. Society prefers to remain scared and judgmental of those who are different.
What is it about me that is so "bad" that I have to hide my identity? I have a secret, at least something I try to hide from the rest of the world lest they judge me. I allowed situations to affect me. If I didn't, I would lose my humanity and / or become an angry, drunk, or drugged person. It is interesting how these behaviors are more universally accepted than my position where I take ownership of my disease and do something about it.

Seven Steps To Surviving Suicide Loss
by Catherine Greenleaf

Suicide Awareness Voices of Education

Losing someone we love to suicide can be devastating. The combination of sudden loss, shame and stigma can make the process of grief look like a long and lonely road. But there are things we can do for ourselves that will develop and increase our resilience, and make that road a little easier to travel:

#1 - Ask for help

#2 - Know your limits

#3 - Create a comfort zone

#4 - Make the clock your friend

#5 - Write it down

#6 - Keep the faith

#7 - Understand the consequences

Firefighter's Daughter

by B. Kathy Oldaker

Greetings to all my adopted firefighter family. I want to share my story of being a firefighter's daughter. The pains, lives, thrills and the tragedies of growing up. There were many good times, as well as bad. I was quite young when dad started at the department; I think I was about five years old. My first good memory of his fighting a fire was when I was in kindergarten. There was an insurance company behind the school that caught fire. Because of the excitement of the ordeal, all the classes in the building moved to that side of the school. I saw my dad in full uniform, handling the hoses and getting directions from the chief, where he was to go next. As he turned he caught a glimpse of me in the window. Our eyes met and I started jumping up and down yelling, "That's my daddy! That's my daddy!" Of course, he smiled back.

The Importance of the Relationship Between Supervisors and Member's Families

by Syd Gravel

In 1988, over 25 years ago, as a constable, I was one of the founding members of a group of police officers who decided to help each other as peers. Each of us had either fatally shot a person as a result of our duty to our citizens, or been shot and survived.

As a result of this work and my subsequently becoming a sergeant and then staff sergeant before retirement I have often been asked by other front line supervisors what they need to look for and be aware of if one of their members is showing signs of not reacting well to trauma.

The answer is not complex.

Willie's Death

by Robert Cubby

It was January 14, 1976. Tim and I were assigned West 401 on the midnight

tour. Our zone is usually one of the quieter zones. We were partnered up since we were both younger officers and the older officers were already partnered up. I guess it's just human nature to want to be a partner with someone you can relate to. Eight hours is a long time cooped up in a radio car with a person you can't interact. Tim and I got along well and enjoyed working together.

It was 2:10 a.m. Time to start heading for our dining period. The dispatcher comes on calling our car number. He tells us there is a report of shots fired in the area of the VIP. We have been getting a rash of false alarms of shots fired or large street fights around the area of the VIP, same time every night. That was probably what this call was.

Choices

by Jim Tucker

The plan for January 8, 2011, seemed simple enough: I would get a haircut before we attended the Congress on Your Corner meet-and-greet sponsored by Representative Gabrielle Giffords in front of the Safeway grocery store, and then go to the Home Improvement Show at the Tucson Convention Center. We arrived early, met several of the congresswoman's staff, and signed the registration list. My wife, Doris, was number two and I was number three, so we would speak with the congresswoman and then be on our way.

We had just started talking with Giffords when there were some loud bangs and a whirlwind of air. The first two shots were a blink of an eye apart, then a flurry of shots began and I found myself lying flat on my back, looking up at the roof under which we had been standing.

BOOKS OF INTEREST

Believable Hope: Five Essential Elements to Beat Any Addiction

by Michael Cartwright

Millions of people appear to be living normal lives yet they are secretly numbing their emotional pain with alcohol, drugs, food, and many other lifestyle addictions. The good news is that there is hope, and author Michael Cartwright knows this firsthand, both personally and professionally.

Hooked on drugs and alcohol as a teenager, Cartwright landed in a psychiatric hospital in a catatonic state in his early twenties. Despite completing the typical recovery programs and mandatory counseling, he continued in a downward spiral until he had an epiphany that would ultimately set him free. In Believable Hope, he shares his personal struggles, his recovery process, and the 5-pronged approach that has caused dramatic transformation with clientele ranging from those living on the street to celebrities and everyone in-between.

Jack Knife - The Crushing of a Policeman

by Paul "Little Jack" Horner

Jack Knife is the story of my journey as a fully operational police officer working at some for the busiest and hardest police stations within the State of New South Wales (NSW) in which I had the privilege of being both an apprentice and a leader. This book is the TRUTH as to what really goes on behind the front line of the policing world. I have written this book with the intention of assisting those that have been diagnosed with PTSD. In addition, I wish to put positive pressure on every Police Force within Australia to change their ways so that the engine room of the force is looked after the way in which they deserve to be looked after and treated with respect, just as the management expect our police to treat members of the public. After all police are human too and deserve to be treated like human beings as opposed to the robots we are publicly, at times, made out to be by police management and the media. Jack Knife is an all inspiring book about, not only the NSW Police Force, but a policeman with two arms, two legs and a heartbeat. In other words a regular human being just doing his best to serve his State the only way he knew how.

Scenes of Compassion

by Timothy Dietz

This book will offer the education and insight to become aware of the tremendous impact we have during even the most brief encounter with people going through significant emotional events, and will offer simple tools for scene compassion without becoming "too wrapped up in someone else's emotions." On the contrary, you will come away from even the most tragic scene with the knowledge and sense that you did the right thing.

Click HERE to View Our Full Booklist

The Sweeney Alliance

The Sweeney Alliance, a Texas-based 501(c)(3) corporation, has been a leader in educational resources addressing the emotional needs of families and emergency responders since 1992. In the last 2+ years, we have published over 385 articles on loss and grief, post traumatic stress and other "hot topics". All newsletters are free of charge for our subscribers. Your donation today will help us continue as a FREE publication. Thank you!