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Addiction. Something beyond your control that is destroying the life you once enjoyed.
Recovery. Learning to live again, rebuild relationships, and enjoy your new life to the fullest.
If you find that your life has been taken over by alcohol, narcotics, an eating disorder, online gaming, gambling or some other form of addictive behavior, please read the following article, The Devil Within, as well as the other personal stories about addiction and recovery on the Grieving Behind the Badge blog. Help IS available.
Stay safe and HUGS,
Peggy Sweeney, Editor
830.377.7389
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Don't Keep This Newsletter a Secret
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Fighting the Devil Within
by Don Prince
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None of us ever wants to admit defeat. It is not in our nature. What makes it  even more difficult for people like us is what we do. We are the ones going in, giving aid, support, sacrifices and sometimes even our lives in order to save others. We are supposed to be the invincible ones and for the most part we are. But ultimately we are all human; we act and react differently to situations both in and out of the "job".
Pressure, stress and pain are pretty much unavoidable in all forms: both physical and mental or a combination of any of them. How each one of us deals with these stresses; such as self-medicating and isolating, is what separates us from our families, loved ones and careers.
Read More »
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MAKE THE SCREAMS STOP
by Cindy Armstrong
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One day I went for an interview to become an EMS Dispatcher and then I was  hired.
I was told that I wouldn't make it a year, as I'd get stressed out and tired.
So excited getting the first few calls, I knew that I wanted to help people all the more.
Helping others is all I ever wanted to do, but little did I know what was in store.
With each call different from the next, they started to come in, one by one.
There were accidents, people with burns, stabbings, and a man with a gun.
There was difficulty breathing, chest pain, abdominal pain, and a fall to the floor,
The ambulances were sent and the paramedics would respond with a big
10-4.
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I Hope You Understand
by Nathan Nixon
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I hope you can understand someday, this hell I live every day; the fear, the  pain, the hate, the wondering, the loneliness. I live every day scared and anxious wondering when this hell I live with is going to visit me, and make my day worse than it is already. Most days I feel alone in this fight. If I speak out about it, I am ridiculed or told to grow up or to get over it.
I hope you can understand what it is like to lay awake at night wondering why I am like this, wondering what I did so wrong in this world, wondering why others can't understand what it is like to live this hell.
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Crossing the Line
Blog Series by Maryanne Pope
 When Maryanne Pope's husband, Constable John Petropoulos, died in the line of duty in 2000 as the result of a preventable fall at an unsafe workplace, Maryanne went into a freefall of her own into grief and depression - and a determination to ensure positive change came from tragedy. Crossing the Line is a blog series about Maryanne's experience of coming to terms with her husband's death and working with the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund to help create a culture of safer workplaces for everyone, including emergency responders. Though Maryanne's professional commitment has been as an advocate for the physical safety of first responders, much of her writing and public speaking has been about the emotional, psychological and spiritual impacts of learning to accept the unacceptable and transform hurt into hope. Sixth in the series:
Triumph Over Tragedy - Lessons Learned from Loss
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Where Does He Go Now?
by Robert Cubby
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I watch now, helplessly, as my friend, Officer Jason Zangara, formerly of the West Palm Beach Police Department systematically loses everything near and dear to him. After he was terminated for failing to resume full duties as a police officer as the result of PTSD, he thought he was going to at least be awarded a disability pension. He was denied.
After the reports were reviewed from six separate doctors stating that Jason had chronic PTSD and was unable to continue as a police officer on full duty, the board decided, based on no discernible evidence medical or otherwise, that PTSD was "subjective and not creditable." They denied benefits.
Read More»
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The Bullet
by Jason Zangara
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A bullet so filled with speed
velocity
power
mobility
and truth.
But when it lies in its empty shell,
It becomes hollow.
As hollow as the target,
Shallow as the lake of fire.
Read More»
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First Step Hope: Not All Wounds Are Visible
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The Twelve-Step Approach to PTSD
by Joel Brende, MD
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Editor's Note: It has been stated many times that first responders have a kinship with Vietnam Veterans. Why? Because, like these Vets, they are asking - no, demanding! - help in coping with the horrific images, nightmares, and the other mental and emotional casualties of their professions. Lewis Epright, Sr., a Vietnam Veteran and firefighter, has asked me to share these twelve steps that he and others have found invaluable in coping with their traumas. Thank you, Lewis, for your service and your friendship.
Step One (Power)
Our first step is to accept the fact that we have become powerless to live  meaningful lives. Even though we had the power to survive against the worst combat conditions, we must admit we have become powerless to win the battle against a new enemy-our memories, flashbacks, and combat instincts. Some of us have become powerless over the continuing wish to gain revenge over those sudden impulses to hurt those who cross us or unsuspectingly annoy us. We even hurt those who try to love us, making it impossible to love and care for our friends and family. So we isolate ourselves and cause others to avoid, dislike, or even hate us. Our attempts to live meaningful lives and fight this psychological and emotional hell which imprisons us seems to be in vain. We now find ourselves powerless to change it.
Read More »
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To learn more about suicide and it's impact on the Unites States click here.
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Firefighter Through and Through
by David Bass
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To those of you that know me, and those of you who don't.
Those of you that know me, and read this document, will know how hard this  is for me to talk about. A firefighter through and through.
To those of you who don't know me, I hope you understand.
To talk about my illness is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. To admit to a flaw is hard for me to comprehend. To admit I have an illness is not an easy task.
For that, I sometimes feel like a failure. For that, I sometimes feel weak. However, I ask that you not think of it as a failure or a weakness. I ask that you think of it as strength. A strength that took all I had in me to write this, and share it with you.
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 So Others Might Live
by Terry Golway
On September 11, 2001, the courage and sacrifice of the New York City Fire Department inspired the nation, giving new meaning to the word "hero." But the heroism of the firefighters was not unique to September 11--it has been part of the FDNY's tradition from the very beginning. Journalist Terry Golway, whose father, father-in-law, godfather, and uncles were all New York firefighters, tells as no one else could the story of the men and women, tragedies and triumphs of the FDNY throughout its history. From the original eighteenth-century volunteer force to the New York Firefighter unit in the Union Army, from the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire to the arson epidemic of the 1970s, to contemporary issues of diversity and efficiency, Golway's history holds up a mirror for firefighters throughout the U.S.
 No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One
by Carla Fine
Carla brings suicide survival from the darkness into light, speaking frankly about the overwhelming feelings of confusion, guilt, shame, anger, and loneliness that are shared by all survivors. Fine draws on her own experience and on conversations with many other survivors--as well as on the knowledge of counselors and mental health professionals..
The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms
by Soili Poijula and Mary Beth Williams
Based in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), the book is extremely accessible and easy-to-use, offering evidence-based therapy at a low cost. This new edition features chapters focusing on veterans with PTSD, the link between cortisol and adrenaline and its role in PTSD and overall mental health, and the mind-body component of PTSD..
Visit our online booklist resource page here
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 The Sweeney Alliance, a Texas-based 501(c)(3) corporation, has been a leader in educational resources addressing the emotional needs of families and emergency responders since 1992. In the last 2+ years, we have published over 385 articles on loss and grief, post traumatic stress and other "hot topics". All newsletters are free of charge for our subscribers. Your donation today will help us continue as a FREE publication. Thank you! |
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