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If you live in the Hanover, Pennsylvania area, I'd like to personally invite you to attend the Voices of Recovery conference on Saturday, September 13th. I will be presenting a workshop, Addiction and Post Traumatic Stress: Avoiding Crisis in Your Home, Workplace and Community, for families and first responders. I look forward to seeing you there.
Our newsletter subscription is climbing daily. I'm very proud to announce that as of this newsletter we have reached 1,375 subscribers! Please continue to share our publication with friends and family. Thank you for your help and for being a loyal subscriber. |
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Join the Voices of Recovery
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Shannon's Gift
by Nate Bennett
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In September of 2011-just about a month after our 26th wedding anniversary-I lost Shannon. We were just weeks into being empty nesters, having recently dropped our younger son off at the University of Colorado. Shannon had waited until our son was settled to schedule routine shoulder surgery. Post operation, the doctor came out to tell me the procedure was a success and he sent me to get the car. In those few moments, Shannon collapsed and never regained consciousness. Shannon died, and I went from being half of a couple, anticipating the joy of time and travel with an amazing partner, to a person struggling to find a way back into the light..
~ Read More ~
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Artists who design memorial art and condolence gifts for the bereaved
 Memorial Pet Portraits
Emma Kaufmann loves to create portraits in pastel and watercolor. She can create a portrait of your child and your pet together - which is a unique gift for a loved one. She also works as a pet bereavement artist, creating wonderful memories of your cherished pet once he has crossed the Rainbow Bridge.
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Written by bereaved parents for bereaved parents and their families
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Coping After Homicide
by Lynn Jett Minick
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When someone you loved is murdered, your emotions become intensified  to a much greater extent than you can imagine. You feel as though you have been thrown into an emotional tailspin. Shock, grief/heartache, guilt/self-blame, disbelief/denial, and anger seem to know no bounds - all seem to become entangled. You may possibly feel a loss of faith in God and mankind. You may feel stigmatized and suffer a loneliness you have never known, all the while confused and wonder why this horrible tragedy occurred. At times, you will wonder if anyone cares. Overwhelmed and confused, you may experience a loss of memory. Your mind seems "fragmented" and you may feel that you are losing your sanity. You will probably be depressed, impatient with yourself and others. You sometimes feel as though you have no emotional control. These are all normal reactions..
~ Read More ~
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The Living Memories Project: Keeping Memories Alive
by Meryl Ain
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My mother would have turned 93 this year. When she died after a brief illness in November 2006, although I knew she had lived a long life, I was bereft. There is never enough time with a loved one.
My mom was my best friend, a reliable loving, comforting, and wise presence in my life. I spoke to my mother several times a day. When there was a lull at work, she was the one I called. When something wonderful happened, I called her. When something challenging happened, I called her. When I needed advice, she was the one I trusted. I could always count on her to be a calm and intelligent sounding board.
She looked at least 10 years younger than she was, and even when the freak cancer attacked her, her mind and heart were still intact. Although I was in my 50's, I was now officially an "orphan," my father having died after a long illness a year and a half before.
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The Grieving Behind the Badge Newsletter is comprised of articles written by men and women who serve their communities as first responders.
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Patch Adams: Death of a Comic
by Peggy Sweeney | |
I fell in love with Robin Williams during the movie, Patch Adams. I disliked  Philip Seymour Hoffman in the same movie. Over time, I came to find both actors on an even par, I loved them equally. Now they are both dead.
Depression is an evil demon that reaches into the core of someone, be they Robin, Philip or the thousands of men and women who die by suicide each year. I have had a brother-in-law take his own life. I have read story after story after story of brave men and women in the armed services and those who serve their communities as police and correctional officers, firefighters/EMS and 911 dispatchers who fight this same demon, but lose the battle over depression.
Please do not judge Robin or Philip or the others. Do not call them weak. They suffer from a mental illness that, at times, is cast aside as not an important illness, something that we only talk about in whispers. They are often told to suck it up. Be a man! They are shunned.
~ Read More ~
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The Twelve-Step Approach to PTSD
by Doctor Joel Brende
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Editor's Note: Editor's Note: It has been stated many times that first  responders have a kinship with Vietnam Veterans. Why? Because, like these Vets, they are asking - no, demanding! - help in coping with the horrific images, nightmares, and the other mental and emotional casualties of their professions. Lewis Epright, Sr., a Vietnam Veteran and firefighter, has asked me to share these twelve steps that he and others have found invaluable in coping with their traumas. Thank you, Lewis, for your service and your friendship.
Step One (Power)
Our first step is to accept the fact that we have become powerless to live meaningful lives. Even though we had the power to survive against the worst combat conditions, we must admit we have become powerless to win the battle against a new enemy-our memories, flashbacks, and combat instincts. Some of us have become powerless over the continuing wish to gain revenge over those sudden impulses to hurt those who cross us or unsuspectingly annoy us. We even hurt those who try to love us, making it impossible to love and care for our friends and family. So we isolate ourselves and cause others to avoid, dislike, or even hate us. Our attempts to live meaningful lives and fight this psychological and emotional hell which imprisons us seems to be in vain. We now find ourselves powerless to change it.
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 1) You will feel better knowing you are not alone with this experience of grief as a result of losing a loved one. Many individuals have traveled this path successfully and, those of us who study these processes, have been hard at work creating the tools and strategies necessary to help you safely negotiate the recovery experience.
2) You will feel better as you become aware of how manageable the healing experience can be while you grow accustomed to using tools that will help you get in touch with your feelings. Once aware of what you are feeling, you will be encouraged you to express those feelings and see for yourself how your stress level will begin to recede. Strategies of denial, anger, withdrawal and repression will be abandoned as they should because you are now aware of what's necessary to safely manage your recovery experience.
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Speaking of the Unspeakable
by Melissa Dalton-Bradford |
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Early October. Two months and two weeks after burying Parker. The shock  of major loss has crash-landed our family on an island of pain. We've also literally landed in a foreign country: just days after the funeral, we've moved with our three surviving children, catatonic with grief, to Germany. We're doubly shipwrecked.
And still we've had no word from Grandma and Grandpa.
No phone calls. No emails. No messages in a bottle. Nothing.
I need my parents now more than ever. But do I call them?
No.
Why not?
Because I'm overwhelmed with sadness. I'm soaked through with our three children's sadness and with my husband's sadness, which sad saturation is compounded by the demands of an international move managed under extreme physical and psychological impairment. The vacuum of no familiar anything or anyone is gaining suction with each day that passes.
And because I'm afraid.
~ Read More ~
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First Step Hope: Not All Wounds Are Visible
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 On Loss and Living Onward by Melissa Dalton-Bradford
After experiencing the loss of her first-born son, Melissa Dalton-Bradford thrust herself into literature searching for those who have experienced similar, devastating loss. What she found was comfort and guidance to help her overcome the pain of losing a loved one and the faith to face her own life without him. In On Loss and Living Onward, she has compiled the best resources that will guide the living through the process of grief.
Shannon's Gift
by Nate Bennett
In this raw, emotional memoir, Nate Bennett uses a blog to work through his grief over the sudden loss of his wife Shannon. He is surprised and comforted to discover a vast virtual community of support. His blog posts--alternately poignant and of dry wit--eventually attracted tens of thousands of hits and a following from readers who hadn't even known the couple or their sons. This unique book gives the reader a window into the starkness of a widower's grieving experience in real time.
 The Living Memories Project: Legacies That Last
by Meryl Ain
A collection of stories from Nick Clooney, Lynda Johnson Robb, Jack Klugman, and others who lost someone dear to them and how they keep their memories alive through memory quilts, the arts, scholarships, poetry, recipes, and many other ways to remember their loved ones.
Be sure to visit our Good Grief Book section on our blog
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 The Sweeney Alliance began in 1992 in rural West Tennessee. It had been of dream of mine to start a company to provide support services and educational programs and resources for the newly bereaved in our local community. Little did I know where that dream would lead me. Find out about our journey since then. ~ Read More ~HOW YOU CAN HELP Your donation helps provide all three of our newsletter free of charge.
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