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Dear friend,
I wish to thank our newest contributors: Kaylene Donohue, Catherine Greenleaf, and Lori Earl as well as four of our returning authors: Sandy Fox, Paula Osipovitch, Deb Anthony and Madeline Sharples. Each of you have shared what is a very painful journey and the efforts you have made to heal your grief and offer help to those who grieve the death of a child or children.
Be sure to read about our newest Bereavement Artist, Sybil Sage. Her work is exquisite and a wonderful memorial. Looking for a good book? Check out our newest books and our extensive Good Grief Books. Don't forget to view our archives. Know someone who is recently bereaved? Invite them to subscribe to our newsletters. All important links are below. Much love, many HUGS.  Peggy Sweeney, Editor |
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My Children Chose To Die (no surviving Children)
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 I was born in a small country town in New South Wales (NSW) called Wagga Wagga. My family lived on the outskirts of the town in a village called Lake Albert. I was one of eight children and the eldest girl with two older brothers. Our family was poor, and in those days if we went anywhere it was mostly on foot. We grew up playing with our ten cousins living next door and the rest of the village children. In those days, we were allowed to run free as long as we were in by dark or dinner. We never heard of kidnappers or people being murdered just for walking around the streets, life was so different from the way we live today. |
| Seven Steps To Surviving Suicide Loss |
 Losing someone we love to suicide can be devastating. The combination of sudden loss, shame and stigma can make the process of grief look like a long and lonely road. But there are things we can do for ourselves that will develop and increase our resilience, and make that road a little easier to travel:
#1 - ASK FOR HELP
Don't be afraid to ask for help. As school children, we were taught to aspire to a rugged individualism. We were urged to become independent. Yet no one taught us how to be vulnerable, how to ask for help, and how to receive that help.
In some families, asking for help is looked upon as a sign of weakness, or even outright cowardice. As the great poet, John Donne, once wrote: "No man is an island." Know that asking for help is a sign of true strength. Our ability to ask for, and receive, help is a strong indicator of how likely we are to survive crushing setbacks. The more we practice asking for help, the easier the process becomes.
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BEREAVEMENT ARTISTS
Introducing Sybil Sage
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 Our daughter Esther was born on August 3, 1994 in Beverly, Massachusetts. She was the bridge between two older sisters, Abby and Evangeline, and two younger brothers, Graham and Abraham. In November 2006, Esther was diagnosed with metastasized papillary thyroid cancer in Marseille, France, with extensive tumors already in her lungs. Following a thyroidectomy and seven months of treatment, our family moved back to New England for her continued treatment at Boston Children's Hospital. |
Subscribe to Our Other Newsletters and
Coursework in Grief: A Study in Healing
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 The Road Less Traveled
general loss and grief articles
Grieving Behind the Badge
emergency responders, department chaplains and CISM/D teams
Coursework in Grief: A Lesson in Healing
a free, online study program
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 I often get asked after a parent has lost a child, "When will I heal from this unspeakable loss?" I knew I would never heal completely, but I searched for reasons to move on with my life until I found answers. No one has the same experience, not all people heal the same way or at the same time. You need to be patient with yourself and give yourself time to grieve, no matter how long it takes.
You may feel better one day and the next feel worse. You may begin to go through the five steps of grief (shock, anger, withdrawal, acceptance and renewal) and find yourself making progress and then retreating backwards to the beginning. It may upset you, but know that it is normal for this to happen. |
 PHYSICALLY, it is silent. Emotionally, however, the pain is overwhelming. I dare not shout out my grief, nor do I speak to others who do not have a clue about it. In my heart I cry out your name, frightened someone might hear me.
"Oh, she is still hurting?" They would ask. "After all this time, why is she not 'over it' yet? She is dwelling too much."
My child, in my heart I long for you every moment, whether awake or asleep. Now when I dream of you, I am aware that you are gone and grateful for your presence. Your death has become a new life within me with feelings of being reborn. The person I was does not exist any longer. A piece of me left with you. I want to be with you, but I want to live. I want you back and that would make everything right again. Everyone expects me to get better, but I am not ill, I am just missing you.
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 Once again, it is my pleasure and honor to have been invited by Peggy Sweeney to participate in her undertakings to support bereaved parents. I have been a bereaved Mom since 1984, became a healed bereaved Mom in 2004 and upon successfully completing my own journey, helping others has become a passion for me also.
I would like to share an excerpt from my newest book Recapturing the Joy "Bridging the Grief Gap". I authored and published this one in 2013 and its goal is to close the gap that exists between the bereaved and those wishing to support us. This excerpt is from the Epilogue of the book and I am trusting it will be of interest to both grievers and non-grievers. For the purposes of this article, I am calling it .... "The Disguised Blessing"
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| Still Grieving Fifteen Years Later (child suicide) |
In the last month, I was asked to meet with two women who had recently  lost their adult sons to suicide. In the first case, the woman contacted me. She had read my book, Leaving the Hall Light On, and after several lengthy emails asked if she could take me for lunch. Since she was willing to drive quite a long distance to meet in my hometown, I readily agreed. However, I realized almost as soon as we sat down that this meeting was a mistake. She talked and talked about her son and his suicide and her problems with the hospitals that cared for him, until I finally had to stop her. Her words brought up so much about my own experience and the death of my son that they were painful. I then asked her why she asked for the meeting and what she expected from me.
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Nurturing Healing Love: A Mother's Journey of Hope & Forgiveness
by Scarlett Lewis
On December 14, 2012, Scarlett Lewis experienced something that no parent should ever have to endure: she lost her son Jesse in an act of unimaginable violence... when a gunman opened fire at Sandy Hook Elementary School. However, this isn't a story about a massacre. It's a story about love and survival. It's about how to face the impossible, how to find courage when you think you have none, and how to choose love instead of anger, fear, or hatred.
 Grieving the Unexpected: The Suicide of a Son by Dr. Gary LeBlanc
In Grieving the Unexpected: The Suicide of a Son, Dr. LeBlanc openly discusses his family's struggle to survive such a dreadful event, the variables that sustained them during the initial shock and the healing process that enabled them to commence their journey towards wholeness. Honest and insightful, Grieving the Unexpected will help those who minister to hurting people better understand what families and individuals experience when confronted with terrible loss, and will testify to the sustaining comfort of God's presence.
 Stephen's Moon
by Marcia Carter
On April 13th, 1997, a tragic accident claimed the life of an eighteen year old boy. He lives on in his mothers heart. From the depths of depression and despair to the inspiring last chapter, A Year and a Half Later, this is a journey you wont want to miss. The road through devastation, anger and soul searching leads to a place of peace, where the author acknowledges that her smile is a gift from God and vows to let that smile be a testimony to others who have suffered loss.
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The Sweeney Alliance, a Texas-based 501(c)(3) corporation, has been a leader in educational resources addressing the emotional needs of families and emergency responders since 1992. In the last 2+ years, we have published over 385 articles on loss and grief, post traumatic stress and other "hot topics". We currently have over 1,450 newsletter subscribers. All newsletters are free of charge. Your donation today will help us continue as a FREE publication. Thank you!
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