Find Your Calm, Kind Voice

If only we could remember how it felt to be a few days, weeks or months old! We can try to imagine what baby's world is like by putting our self in her shoes and  trying to look at life from her perspective. Your baby is becoming attached to you, and when you make your voice calm, caring, and kind your baby will feel secure and loved.


When you meet your baby's needs with a kind, calm voice, you will help her to eat, sleep and play more calmly in response. This positive response from the person she most wants to please-you-will encourage her to respond to you with a calm, caring, kind voice, too  

Brain Science for Your Baby

What does brain science say about talking?  What is the best way to talk to a baby?  Babies seem to like "parentese"!  You may be doing this without even knowing - are you talking slowly, with simple words, in a sing-song voice?  Scientists have found that just talking to babies helps their little brains learn to form categories for objects.  Even when they are just 3 - 4 months old! 


Your kind voice focuses on helping your baby learn how to do something, communicates respect and love, and helps her brain develop the pathways to kindness, respect and compassion. Moreover, your calm response soothes her when she gets upset or angry herself. 


The opposite holds true: when your baby is talked to in an angry, shouting voice, she learns to make herself angry, loses her ability to care for others, and fails to learn how to manage her emotions, due to the part of her brain controlling her emotions being underdeveloped.

A Baby Buffer Prescription for Your Baby
  •  Respond to your infant's behavior with a soft touch and a kind voice, using encouraging words and a loving gaze.
  •  Learning can only happen when we are calm-so make sure your baby is able to learn by using a calm and caring voice when responding to her as you diaper her, feed her and play with her.
  • Choose your words carefully-they will be he ones you will hear said back to you, as her brain records this learning today.  



A baby Buffer Prescription for You        

  • You can't control our baby, but you can control our reaction to her. Therefore, tell yourself that your baby is wonderful, even when her behavior is frustrating.
  • Look in the mirror: Do you smile when you think about your baby? Observe your expressions and notice if you are frowning, sad, anxious or worried. Talk with a trusted friend or doctor about what is making you upset, if you find that you are unable to smile or relax, to help you feel in control of your anger or frustrations, getting help is a positive quality of a Baby Buffer!

What Your Baby Can Do - Developmental Milestones 



Babies as young as 2  months old can calm themselves briefly by bringing their hands to their mouth, and by 4 months your baby will copy sounds and facial expressions that they see and hear every day.  The environment that your baby is growing up in is so important, and your calm, kind interactions with your baby will make a positive impact!
Baby Buffer Blog
Cathy Smith, PhD

New Year's Resolution

Now that the presents are un-wrapped, the cookies are eaten and the guests are all gone, it is time to get back to everyday life. I love the holidays, but I also look forward to the feeling of calm and routine that January brings. I 'm not usually one for New Year's resolutions but this January I am striving to be "present" and "in the moment." Giving others your full attention when you are with them lets them know they are important and worth your time. It helps to build strong relationships. Being "present" with your children is really important, no matter how old they might be. When my youngest child was a baby, she would use her hands to physically turn my head towards her, so that I would stop whatever I was doing, and pay attention to her! That was a pretty clear sign that she wanted and needed my attention. Not all babies are that persistent but all babies do need you to be "present" as much as possible.

Read the full blog by Cathy Smith, PhD 

"Like" us on Facebook! 

Join Our Mailing List!