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Truth In Advertising
There once was a man named Frank who thought he had the greatest vaudeville act of all time. He was so convinced of this that he burst into the waiting room of the number one talent agency in New York. He rushed past all the others who were patiently and anxiously awaiting their turns, plopped his brief case on the receptionist's desk, and demanded that he immediately be allowed to enter the audition room to see the Bert, who was widely known as the most successful talent agent on the planet.
When the receptionist explained that he would have to be seated and wait, he abruptly grabbed his briefcase, darted past her, and stormed through the door, with the terrified receptionist racing behind, close on his heels. Before the Bert had a chance to say anything, Frank opened a compartment in his satchel and pulled out a large bull frog and a miniature piano. He said, "Sir, please allow me to introduce you to Freddie, the only piano playing frog in the world."
Immediately Freddie began playing the piano with a proficiency that would have made Chopin envious. He played the classics, he played contemporary, pop, jazz, and country, and even played a few original compositions. His performance was stunning and left everyone in the room speechless.
Without missing a beat, Frank said, "Wait! There's more!" He then reached into another compartment in his briefcase, brought forth a small goldfish bowl, and introduced Gloria the goldfish, while announcing that Gloria would now sing to the accompaniment of Freddie on the piano. Sure enough, as Freddie began to pound the ivory again, Gloria swam to the top of the bowl and delivered the most beautiful renditions of old favorites and new tunes alike, with perfect pitch and timing, and a range that was unrivaled. Her performance was no less amazing than Freddie's.
Hardly able to contain himself after witnessing this spectacle, Bert said, "Sir, you are absolutely correct. I have never seen such a performance in all my years in this business. I will have my assistant draw up a most generous contract immediately. We will tour the world and we will make millions."
Frank let this sink in for a moment, then abruptly declared, " I can't do it. I just can't do it. I'm sorry. We have to go now." With that, he scooped up Freddie and Gloria, stuffed them back in his briefcase, and in a flash was out the door, headed for the elevator.
Bert was aghast. He had just discovered the most lucrative act he had ever seen, and just as suddenly as they had burst into his office, they were gone. Not willing to miss this opportunity, he flew out the door behind them, knocking over a few hopeful applicants on the way. He chased them down the hall, out on the street, and finally caught up with them just before they boarded the train.
He said, "Frank, you just can't do this. What is the matter with you? We're going to make millions!"
Frank replied, "I can't do it. I just can't do it. It's all a sham." Bert, said, "What do you mean! This is the real thing; I saw it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears!"
Frank, by now totally despondent replied, "I just wasn't totally honest with you, Bert. You see, Gloria really can't sing. Freddie is a ventriloquist."
Selah
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