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Last week I was told yet again how speaking in front of an audience was someone's worst nightmare and how they didn't understand how I can possibly enjoy what I do for a living!
 
Despite hearing this time and time again I still meet so many people who are asked to give presentations as part of their job or who are increasingly drawn to sharing their experiences and expertise with others. 
 
I've spoken here about the Professional Speaking Association (PSA) on many occasions and related how my membership over the last decade has had a huge impact on my speaking abilities and on my business. 
 
If you do speak as a key part of your role I would strongly recommend looking at the PSA and considering becoming an Associate. My good friend, BBC presenter Jeremy Nicholas, has recently put together a video showcasing the value the PSA brings to its members. You may even recognise one or two faces in there!
 
If you are based outside the UK, you can check out the Global Speakers Federation website for the nearest association to you, while if you don't speak for your job but want to improve your speaking skills and confidence, check out local public speaking clubs, the best known of which are Toastmasters International
 
You may be reading this and wondering what it has to do with you as speaking is not, and may never be, on your radar. Well, the PSA is my professional association and I have benefited enormously by being proactive as a Member and Fellow and making the most of the opportunities it offers.  Are you a member of a professional association? If so, how much value have you allowed it to present to you? 
 
You can't just join and hope that the benefits come. Go to meetings, get involved and know what you need to do to get a return from your investment in membership. 
 
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sales secrets On 16th April, seasoned entrepreneur Lara Morgan who successfully grew a global business Pacific Direct before selling her majority share for �20M, is hosting an amazing sales strategy event with 11 great speakers including Sinclair Beecham co-founder of Pret a Manger, James Averdieck founder and GU and Ed Wray co-founder of Betfair.  
 
Lara has offered two free tickets (worth �500) to readers of Connecting is not Enough and listeners to the podcast. For your chance to win a ticket please email enquiries@lopata.co.uk by 22nd March with 'Company Shortcuts Competition' in the subject line. 
 
To find out more about the events and to register, click here. Don't worry, if you book your place and then win a ticket, Lara will refund the cost of your purchase to you. 
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Don't forget, if you'd like to listen to these tips and some additional content on the move, Connecting is not Enough - The Networking Radio Show is available on my website, YouTube and to subscribe to on iTunes. 
  
I hope you enjoy the newsletter and look forward to your feedback.
 

If you're serious about developing a networking and referrals strategy that can take your business to a new level, or you are interested in booking me for a speech or training session for your team, find out more details on our website or you can contact me on:

  

Tel: 07930 417833
Skype: andylopata   

I look forward to hearing from you.

     

Andy


� All material copyright H & A Lopata ltd 2013. All rights reserved.

 

5 ways to: Mentor and be mentored

I regularly urge audiences at my talks to find one, or even more, mentors to help them achieve their potential. I have several mentors myself and also mentor a small number of people.

But a conversation recently made me think more closely about what are the key ingredients of a strong mentoring relationship. As ever, I turned to my network for their ideas and brought them together into 5 key tips for both mentors and mentees:      

 
ONE: Clear expectations
Both parties need to have very clear expectations about what they want from the relationship. 
Before finding a mentor for yourself, understand exactly what you want them to help you achieve. Not only will such clarity help the mentor to help you, it will also provide the information you need to find the right mentor. 
The mentor also needs to understand why they are entering into the arrangement. In some cases it will be a paid service they offer but in many others mentors provide their services voluntarily. They need to have a clear motivation to ensure that they are happy keeping mentoring appointments and maintain their interest over a period of time.  

TWO: Good chemistry
It should go without saying that there should be mutual respect and rapport between the mentee and mentor. You don't need to be close friends or even necessarily like each other. But the mentor needs to want the mentee to succeed, the mentee needs to trust the mentor's advice and the two of you need to be working together to achieve a common goal rather than facing conflict after conflict. 
Mutual respect is a key foundation to allow the transparency and honesty, from both parties, that is essential to the success of a mentoring relationship. 
The mentor's role is to guide, provide honest feedback and to give the mentee the tools to make informed decisions. The final choice should always, however, be the mentee's and the mentor should never seek to force an uncomfortable decision nor prescribe what they perceive to be the right route. 
 
THREE: A structured approach
You can have informal mentoring relationships where you call for advice when you have a specific challenge you would like help and advice on. But formal mentoring arrangements need a structured approach where both parties agree on how frequently they meet, whether in person or virtually, and what they expect to happen at those meetings. 

Be clear as well about what is expected of both the mentor and mentee between each session and how long the mentoring programme is expected to last for. 

FOUR: Different strokes
Not everyone has the same learning or teaching style. Part of getting the chemistry right is ensuring that your styles match. The mentor should not impose their own style on someone who won't respond, nor should the mentee expect the mentor to work with them in a way that they are not comfortable with. 

As a mentee, be aware of your mentor's boundaries. Just because they are there to support you does not necessarily give you permission to call them at all hours or several times a week. Agree boundaries in advance and honour them throughout the relationship.

FIVE: Allow for a change in direction
While you may go into a mentoring arrangement with clear objectives, the advice given or experiences during the course of the mentoring may lead to changes in where you want to go. 

As a mentee, bring such potential changes to your mentor and ask for their advice and input. And mentors should be open to such changes, helping their mentee to weight up the pros and cons and reach an informed decision. 


Thanks to Alan Stevens, Michael Birchmore, Fergus McClelland, Lubna Gem Arielle, Michelle Pritchard QJ, Amy Brann and Claire Boyles for sharing their top mentoring tips. 

Thanks also to Stephen Harvard Davis, who shared this recent interview with him by William Buist on choosing a business mentor
Video: Why do you network? 

Have you thought recently about why you network, what your key challenges are and how your network could help you? 

If you read this regularly of course I hope you do! But just in case, here's a quick refresher from a talk I gave to members of Eventia in the summer. 

It's Who Knows You - Andy Lopata discusses networking strategy at Summer Eventia 2012
It's Who Knows You - Andy Lopata discusses networking strategy at Summer Eventia 2012

Interviewing the Experts: Paul Sloane on Crowdsourcing
 
I recently caught up with Paul Sloane, author, speaker and facilitator on lateral thinking in business. I asked Paul about crowdsourcing techniques, why people would want to help you innovate and his use of social media to keep his network engaged. 

Crowdsourcing for Innovation - Andy Lopata interviews Paul Sloane
Crowdsourcing for Innovation - Andy Lopata interviews Paul Sloane


 
 
 
Just for Fun: Andre Rieu introduces 3 years old Akim Camara to the world

Just your average 3 year old then.....
 
Andre Rieu & 3 year old violinist, Akim Camara 2005
Andre Rieu & 3 year old violinist, Akim Camara 2005
  
 
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Andy's Books
Recommended
Recommended: How to sell through networking and referrals

and Death Came Third!
...and Death Came Third! The Definitive Guide to Networking and Speaking in Public



Recent blogs and interviews

 

PSA - Quantum Physics, Gratitude and Referrals - The Nonsense Thread review of PSA North West meeting 12th March 2013

 

Are You Cultivating Your Business Champions?

Manager Magazine

 

The High Net-Worth of Your Networks

The Independent - Marianne Abib-Pech

 

What people say
"Andy was one of the highest rated speakers for 2012. 
 
This was critically important as he was the lead-off speaker in our inaugural year of the Russell Women's Network. 
 
He worked with me to ensure that the message was consistent and genderless (as men were encouraged to attend). It was professionally done and consistently delivered. 
 
I think it speaks miles that Andy was able to get good crowds with a nice balance of men and women at a women's network event. I personally have used his tips and bits from his speech to expand my network exponentially in the last year, as have my colleagues."
 
Jill Naas, Director, Investment Division. Russell Investments