The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband
'The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, DC. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin
MCCAIN GOES TO THE MOVIES
SPECIAL LAWYER TREATMENT
A lawyer dies and goes to the end of a long line at the Pearly Gates. To his surprise, St. Peter leaves his desk, walks over and greets him warmly. An angel takes the lawyer by the hand, guides him to the front of the line and settles him into a comfortable chair.
The lawyer says, "I appreciate all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replies, "Well, we've added up all the hours that you billed your clients, and by my calculation, you must be about 193 years old!"
Taking a break from the campaign trail, John McCain decides to take in a movie.
After buying his ticket, he stops at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $5, he says, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn didn't cost anywhere near this much money. "
"Well, sir," the attendant replies with a grin, "you're in for an even bigger surprise -- the movies have sound now."