Happy Mother's Day! 

Thanks to my Mom, Sandra Crim

 I just spent several days with my mother who turned 80 in February.  I am from a small town in TN and my mother still lives in the house in which I grew up. She continues to be vibrant and quite with it.  She insisted on driving 3 hours to the airport to pick me up and then insisted on driving home as well. (Some of you wonder where I got my strong will? ;-> ).  Between these drives, she and I met some of my girlfriends from high school who live in Nashville - we all enjoyed delicious steak and friendship which included delighting in my Mom.  What makes my Mom's vibrancy more remarkable to me is not just her age, it is that she suffers from osteoporosis, severe scoliosis, high cholesterol and diabetes.  She has some hearing loss in the last few years, but can still stay with you in the conversation if you repeat now and then.  She looks and has the energy still of someone much younger.  And even though she is shorter, more bent, more easily fatigued, and at times in pain, she does not complain.  She instead insists on moving forward with presence and intention.  

I watched her on this trip.  I observed how she moved through her day.  I wanted to know how this amazing woman was still so vibrant, and beautiful, yet calm, steady and generally unphased by most things.  She is kind, loving, generous and so full of faith.  She is a wonder to me - probably moreso this trip than any other time in my life.  

My mother gardens.  She shows steady care and genuine interest in each new bud and bloom and green growth emerging.  I think she had 100 irises in various states of bud and bloom all around her house and each tree in the yard.  She had amazing plants that grew little red, white or purple flowers or "bells," including Solomon's Seal, Lily of the Valley, and so many others whose names I cannot recall, but she recounts easily.  She stated proudly that the tulips held on until I arrived as she had prayed they would.  And true to her faith claim, they were there when we pulled into the driveway with every petal having fallen off by the day I left.  Amazing.

Each time we walked the path by our house she would prune the dead blooms from the flowers and plants as we walked past to wherever we were going, church, the grocery store, the video store, the farm out in the country.  She wanted to finish cleaning every part of the kitchen before we retired. "I don't like to leave things unfinished."  Her back is curved into an S.  She rarely complains.  She insists on making me breakfast when I am there.  She argues with me before she allows me to do any housework, clean the kitchen, vacuum, etc. or attempt to do just about anything that she manages by herself when I am not there.  Though she quietly acknowledges how much my efforts truly help her.  I am thankful she can receive something from me along these lines.

She still steadily tells me how proud she is of me, as if I am just entering my adult life.  I find I relish it now as much as I did in high school and college and at each phase of my journey.  She is so patient and seems to truly enjoy listening to me, to my brother, my friends, family, and to others.  She is very tolerant of hearing of the parts of our lives that she surely would have done differently.  She remains a devout and Holy Spirit-filled Southern Baptist.

She sits at her desk each morning and maps out her day, pays bills, files things.  She thoughtfully makes plans for her future and for our future when she is not here.   She maps out her week each Monday morning. "I guess I still like to make a weekly 'lesson plan' after all these years!"  She was a 2nd grade teacher for over 30 years. 

Each morning she reads her daily devotional books, scriptures from the Bible that accompany, and prays for those in her life.  I am quite thankful that my husband, children, and I are in her life.

Each afternoon after lunch she takes a nap on the couch after reading the local newspaper.  This daily ritual was her Sunday ritual every week since I was a toddler.  She teaches Sunday School at the local "old folks home" where some of her peers now reside.

She adds and removes décor with the seasons and is ever upgrading and steadily maintaining her home with new paint or a new porch or plan for the house.  Somewhere along the way in my early adult life, my Mother became my friend.  And recently, as I settle firmly into my middle life, I am seeing with new eyes my role model for growing old into my future.

My mother is an amazing woman.  I feel incredibly blessed to have had time with her recently.  I feel incredibly blessed to be her daughter.  To have been raised by her with her efforts that were at times spot on and those that were a bit amiss.  She and I have learned from each other and changed together over time. She is a wonderful role model for being present to your life throughout your life.

And I think one of my favorite things is to experience my friends' and family's, including my husband's, awe and love of her.  I thank God we have that.

I love her life.  I pray for her to have less pain. I pray for her to have increased stamina.  I pray for her to feel so so loved and cared for and to enjoy activity and vitality until her final breath.

As I am both challenged and encouraged by how she lives her life, I share that encouragement with you!  Take a moment and notice the older women and men in your life.  Who are they? If you admire them, take a moment and wonder:  How do they live?  How do they start and move through their day?   What choices do they make?  How do they love?  How do they give?  How do they receive?  Who are they?

Let's become wise, steady, present people... Paying attention. Pruning as we go.  Listening with interest to others.  Loving and taking pride in those in our lives.  Starting our days with intention, devotion, meditation and prayer. Acknowledging pain, but complaining less. Finishing. Taking naps when tired.  Accepting others when we don't necessarily agree with their choices. Learning from our mistakes in life and relationships.  Allowing our relationships to change and mature as we stay present to each other.  I believe healing wisdom will flow from others to us and from us to others more naturally when we do.

So, thank you Sandra, Sandy, Mom, Mama, Mother, 

Grandma, Mama Crim...

 We love you, Thank you...