Good Mourning with Carole - May/June Edition

The Good Mourning News

May/June 2014 In This Issue:

Featured Article: Socially Speaking

Honoring Moms

Gee & Sorensen Funeral Home Update

Good Mourning Group - New Schedule

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Carole McLeod

Special Tribute to Moms

Welcome to the May/ June edition of The Good Mourning News,

an e-newsletter from Grief Matters. In this edition there is a special tribute to MOTHERS.

I would like to dedicate this issue to my Mom in honor of Mother's Day. A big part of the grief journey is to preserve the love and memories of a loved one who has died. Even though they cannot be with us physically we have two gifts to help us: the love we had for them and the memories we treasure. No one or nothing can take those away from us. By remembering the love and sharing the memories we can keep them in our hearts.

For those who h

ave lost your mother, you can remember them by sending out a thought: "I love you, Mom!" Take a moment to remember a special time that you had together.

If you still have your mom with you, I encourage you to give her a big hug and tell her you love her. If you are separated by distance, you can reach her by phone, email or Facebook. Don't let the opportunity go by.

When God Created Mothers

by Erma Bombeck

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into his sixth day of "overtime" when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic;
Have 180 movable parts... all replaceable;
Run on black coffee and leftovers;
Have a lap that disappears when she stands up;
A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair;
And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord," said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, "Go to bed. Tomorrow..."

"I can't," said the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick... can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger... and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

"But she's tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?"

"Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You You were trying to push too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

"You are a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there," He said.

Good Mourning with Carole

Featured Article:

Socially Speaking

The emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects of your grief can easily overshadow your ability to socialize. It may take some time after the death of a loved one for you to even consider being social again. Your relationship with friends, neighbors, church members, and even co-workers has changed. You may find it difficult to imagine going out to dinner, church, theatre, sporting events or anything else.

Common fears include crying in public or feeling like the "fifth wheel" if you accept a dinner invitation with other couples. You may not accept invitations simply because you don't feel like you have the energy to dress. Going to places that you and your loved one once frequented can be overwhelming and sad. Even attending church can be very painful when you hear your loved one's favorite hymn and are reminded there is an empty seat in the family pew. There are many reasons that these relationships may change.

Friends and family may be uncomfortable around you because they do not know what to say. No one wants to say the wrong thing possibly causing you pain or to cry. It can be a dilemma because they do not know if they should mention the deceased's name or share their memories.

To handle these changes you must become acquainted with how you feel and know that these feelings of loneliness and being afraid to be social are all a part of your grief journey. It is not uncommon to experience restlessness or an inability to sit still; a lack of concentration and organization; an inability to initiate activities; and a loss of self-confidence. It is important to understand your needs and decide what invitations you want to accept and which establishments you are ready to visit.

I suggest deciding what you WANT to do and what you CAN do. It is important to be honest with yourself and careful you do not find yourself in a meaningless social whirl just to keep busy because you are afraid to feel the emotions that are a part of your grief journey. If you want to accept an invitation to be with family and friends, help them feel comfortable with your mourning by telling them when it's OK to talk about your loved one. Let them know when you are ready to share memories and how you feel when they mention your loved one's name. I recommend finding a dependable support person who is a non-judgmental listener so that you can share your feelings and emotions when you need to.

There are also other sources of support that you might consider. A bereavement support group can introduce you to others who have experienced the death of a loved one and are also mourning. By sharing your story and grief experiences you offer support and you may even establish new friendships. If a support group is your cup of tea, consider church groups, civic organizations, and social clubs. Remember, it can be a great comfort to share your experience with someone else that is also grieving and understands how you feel.

Please know that you need to do this in your own time. There's no rush. It might take awhile to have the energy or desire to expand your social life. It is important that you mourn your loss at your own pace. It is your grief to mourn in your own way and you will know when the time is right.

Good Mourning Aftercare Programs at:

Gee & Sorensen Funeral Home and Cremation Services

Grief Matters' Good Mourning Aftercare Programs began at Gee and Sorensen with the launch of the first Good Mourning Group at the end of March and continued for six weeks with the final meeting at the end of April. The group was comprised of families in the community served by Gee and Sorensen. Having a mutual experience, members of the group became easily acquainted by sharing memories and experiences. Each grief journey was unique, but everyone in the group discovered many ways to mourn and to heal the pain of grief.

The widows' social club affectionately known as the WOW GALS (Widows on the Way)

continues to meet for dinner each month. Widows who attended the

Good Mourning Group are invited to start attending the WOW GALS activities in May.

The month of July will mark the sixth year of our WOW GALS group. If you are a widow or know of one who might be interested in joining the group please call

Stephanie at Gee and Sorensen office (727) 323-5111 to register. A social group, WOW GALS meets once a month at a different restaurant. There are no dues -- you pay your own check. Gee and Sorensen sponsors all other expenses.

Good Mourning Group Schedule

Join us at the Good Mourning Group, a six-week bereavement support group facilitated by Carole McLeod, CBF and sponsored by and held at

Gee and Sorensen Funeral Home, 3180 30th Ave. N.
on the following Tuesdays at 1:30 p.m.:

July 8; July 15; July 22; July 29; August 5 and August 12

Please enroll by July 15 and plan to attend all classes.

Good Mourning Group is open to the community and offered by
Gee and Sorensen Funeral Home at no charge.

For reservations and additional information, please call 727-323-5111

Good Mourning News is a resource for not only for those who are grieving but for
professional caregivers as well as those who care for their own families. Please share the
articles with those in your sphere of influence and include them in church bulletins,
community newsletters etc. with our web address: www.goodgrief-mourning.com.

A special thank you to Richard Sorensen of Gee and Sorensen for

Sponsoring this edition of the Good Mourning News

Contact Information
Carole McLeod, President, Grief Matters

phone: 727-515-3399

web site: www.goodgrief-mourning.com LIKE US ON