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Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. ~ Dalai Lama
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. ~Joseph Campbell
Over this summer, the theme I've noticed come up again and again with clients is how often we set the expectation for perfection. Frequently, we focus on all the ways we, ourselves are not perfect which makes our life more difficult. Of course, this sets the standard for what we expect from others as well. So we set out on our daily journeys wishing we were somehow different and focusing on all the ways we could be happier if only other people were different, too.
When we're stuck in such limiting thought patterns, there's quite literally no room for us to think something more self-supportive. Especially in a time of expanded technology when we are building improved electronic communication (texting, emailing, Facebook, etc), real, wholehearted communication has taken a hit. An increase in social media has the tendency to support the self sabotaging mantra that everyone else is better, smarter, stronger and more interesting. Or worse, it's a place to hide as we show only our own better, smarter, stronger and more interesting sides to the world. This of course does not make social media bad, yet to be aware of the challenges it creates for authenticity is critical. We must know that face to face and phone conversations where the nuances are apparent and the tone or body language clear are more vital than ever. Most important, we must continue to be aware that a strong, beautiful life is fully dependent on the quality of the relationships we cultivate and create.
But how do we create happiness when too often, we're so hung up on perfection and expectation. The deepest and most profound relationships will only come through compassion and love and the willingness to see our own humanity and the humanity in others. It's when we sit across from one another, hear each other's voices, giving time and energy to a relationship, that we can see ourselves in someone else. We must begin to understand that to be human means that we are imperfect. Our life's focus need not be about what we achieve and accomplish, but instead about who we choose to be each day. Similarly, our focus need not be on expecting other's to change so that we can be happy and instead taking responsibility for creating our own sense of inner peace.
So as the summer winds down, join me in embracing our humanity....flaws and all. Let our focus be on doing the best we can with the tools we have in each moment. Let's set an intention to give love freely and fearlessly and receive love gracefully without expectation that it be in a certain (perfect) way. Let us understand the humanity in others, knowing they too are doing the best they can with the tools they have in their own personal tool belts in each moment. Let us look for opportunities to build inner strength during chaos. Above all, let us embrace the sometimes confusing, stressful, overwhelming, enlightening, awe-inspiring ride trusting that our biggest task in life will always be to just be ourselves.
We can all be that powerful.
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