People Pleaser by Jen Patterson

At the beautiful Presentation Center in the mountains above Los Gatos, CA, forty-three SoulCollage® aspiring Facilitators and four returning Facilitators gathered for the April Facilitator Training. With lead Trainer Mariabruna Sirabella and collaborating Trainers Diane Born, Sue Gelber, and Linda Woolfson, these were four intensive, moving days of learning in warm community and, for some, personal revelation.

New Facilitator Jen Patterson, shares her experience:
 
While I was waiting at the San Jose airport for my ride to the April Facilitator Training, I decided to consult my cards. I had been looking forward to this opportunity for nearly a year, and I wanted to make the very most of it! My question: What will help me stay grounded and open to this experience and be my authentic self? 

Being open comes pretty naturally for me. However, being my authentic self when meeting a lot of new people is often a challenge. My cards advised, "Be open to your adventurous self," and "Let your whole self be present." The most powerful card in my reading was my People Pleaser Neter: a young girl, COVERED with smiles, on a background that many would say resembles a crucifix. Her request to me was a surprise: "When I show up, love me and have compassion for me."
 
I took her wisdom to heart. Instead of being disgruntled when this part of me showed up, I merely noticed and thought, "Oh, there you are!" Mariabruna Sirabella talked about gently inviting our Self-Critic Neter to take a break, maybe take a walk. I loved this idea, and very quickly used that same invitation for my People Pleaser. I could imagine her smiling away, visiting with all the Self-Critic Neters and drinking tea! Meanwhile, I could get to the business of bringing more of my authentic self to the experience. When my People Pleaser Neter is in charge and people do seem to like me, I am always left wondering if they really like me, or if I've just done a good job figuring out what would please them! 

Jen Patterson (left) with her fellow new SoulCollage® Facilitators, Christina MacLeod (center) and Mary Estes (right)

The training was incredible and inspiring. The women I met were not only kind, but engaging and interesting. I discovered that when my People Pleaser Neter is taking a break, I feel energetic but without that frantic quality that can wear me out. I feel more grounded and less eager to talk. Turns out I am a better listener and can connect in a more patient way with those around me when I have a break from needing to be pleasing.

Now, I don't ever want to kill her off (not that a person can just do that anyway). In fact, Seena Frost mentioned in her time with the group that we don't ever throw away a card. When more balanced, my People Pleaser part has certainly served me well, helping me navigate all sorts of social challenges. But now I feel able to meet those same challenges by bringing my full authentic self to whatever experience I wish.


Jen Patterson is a counselor who lives in beautiful Portland, Oregon.  When not doing SoulCollage®, she keeps busy playing house with her husband and two kids, gardening, and teaching origami to children.

 

The Fool by Kathryn Bernardino

Kathryn Bernardino, another new Facilitator, writes:
 
I Am One Who was fooled into thinking I can control everything in my life. I let go now, lighten up, feel free to have fun and enjoy life without control.

I had been a stay-at-home mom for 18 years, struggling with depression and anxiety. I found myself shutting in more and more, when my husband said, "It's time for you to get out of the house." After I visited  Rose Lester, a psychotherapist and SoulCollage® Facilitator, she sent me to Art for Healing. This is a community art center where I started volunteering, bringing art projects to patients in the hospital.

I began to assist Claudette Hunter in her SoulCollage® workshops. I loved it from the very first class, but was scared to death even to begin sharing from my cards. Now, four years later, I have assisted at ten workshops, co-facilitated two, and have given three workshops on my own. In one, I taught thirteen women just out of prison how to make and consult the cards. Every time I was careful to work from Claudette's detailed notes and the SoulCollage® Principles. I explained, as Claudette had taught me, that I was not yet a trained Facilitator but was using the process of SoulCollage® as described by Seena B. Frost in her published works, according to the directions in the Principles of SoulCollage®.

Sharing SoulCollage® with others was a game-changer for me.  It was wonderful to see how much the women got out of doing this work. In a way, I too was coming out of the prison of my house-bound fears. I kept doing the I Am One Who... process, and the Neters began slowly to reveal themselves through the cards. In giving my Neters a voice and a home in the suits, I felt a freedom I hadn't known before.

For instance, my Inner Critic Stevie was one of my most important Neters. I learned that she had been running my life for far too long, always telling me I wasn't good enough. I told her I respect her, because she helped me keep my life together until I could heal my wounded child. However, I told her I now see that her criticisms are not the truth about me. She still comes up when I'm doing something new. I reassure her that I now have the support of people who know I'm good enough, and that she can trust them as I do. And she relaxes!

The other card that was important was my inner encouraging part, Accept. She taught me to embrace the shadow side of my personality. I had always tried to run away from shame by hiding any shadow sides of myself, always trying to be the good girl. I now know that I am just human, not bad, but worthy like everybody else.

SoulCollage® has been the most gentle and meaningful healing process among the many I have tried, although it is not psychotherapy. I just completed my Facilitator Training, with Trainers who are the most generous, compassionate group of woman I have ever encountered. I spent those four days working out my fear of not being good enough to do this work in the community. When I made my Fool card and experienced its freedom, lightness, and joy, it became clear that my life, struggle, and healing have made me who I am: good enough to be a SoulCollage® Facilitator.

Trust the process, it works!

Kathryn Bernardino lives with her husband and family in Bakersfield, CA. She just landed her first paying job in 22 years, doing SoulCollage® as a Volunteer Liaison in the Special Needs department of the hospital where she volunteered for four years. 

Dave Room took a different path to his new Facilitator status:

My stepmom Gretchen introduced me to SoulCollage® a year ago, on vacation with my daughter Melia, then eleven. Melia was complaining about being bored and unsure of what she wanted to do. Gretchen engaged Melia in making collage cards and answering questions about the cards. Melia was enthralled. I wanted to jump in and play too, but I knew it might inhibit Melia, so I sat back and pretended I wasn't paying attention. Melia's attitude changed from the moment she started collaging and she remembers the trip fondly.

I became interested in how I might integrate collage into my work to support the healthy social/emotional development of children. I attended the SoulCollage® and Archetypes course this past September with Seena Frost and Mariabruna SIrabella, which inspired me to take the Facilitator Training.

I really enjoyed the training on all levels. I helped with logistics, so I had the pleasure of meeting Jim and Kylea and hearing more about their perspectives, and selling books and supplies with them felt nourishing for me. My table team enthusiastically threw themselves into the process and shared deeply, which enabled me to share deeply as well. I valued and appreciated their perspectives on SoulCollage® and their personal stories, and enjoyed our talks about how we might move forward together as Facilitators.

And yes, it was great fun and honor being the only guy among 47 amazing women on their path to self-awareness.  I am inspired to bring SoulCollage® to young people, social entrepreneurs, people of color, and through those groups, men and boys. I am planning a workshop with food and music for social entrepreneurs that gives them a taste of SoulCollage®.

My card Story Sculptor helps me live my philosophy of life:   

I Am One Who lives the story I want to tell... who creates beauty out of mud... who transmutes negative situations into positive stories. I make choices that I feel good about.

Dave Room's most important identifier is "Melia's Papa"; Melia is his inspiration. Dave is the co-founder of BALANCE Edutainment, a social enterprise that produces "nutritious" children's entertainment to support the healthy development of today's kids. Dave co-authored the young reader book Pacha's Pajamas: A Story Written By Nature and produced the nine-award-winning companion album. Check out PachasPajamas.com and MeliasPapa.com Twitter: @meliaspapa