SoulCollage® Community Update
April 2015
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"Should We Sell Our Parent's Home?"
How I Used SoulCollage® to Resolve My Conflict
by Alison Moncrieff
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| | Attachment, by Alison Moncrieff |
I was already grappling with an inner conflict when I arrived at the SoulCollage® workshop. The workshop's theme, "Create Through Conflict," seemed the perfect fit for my current struggle -- the upcoming fate of our dear family home. I was born and grew up in that house and had never lived more than an hour away. During a recent discussion with my siblings, one expressed a desire to sell the house after my father passes away; the other, like me, was emotionally attached and wanted to keep it. I was afraid to give up the sense of safety and support the house gave me.
Our Facilitator introduced us to the Weaving Exercise from the CD, Embracing Change, Transforming Conflict Using SoulCollage® by SoulCollage® Trainer Mariabruna Sirabella. We began by identifying the two conflicting parts of ourselves; I named mine Attachment and Letting Go. We either made cards to represent each, or found them among cards in our existing decks. I had already made a SoulCollage® card that conveyed the feeling of the Attachment part: a mother and baby elephant in front of a house surrounded with lush gardens. I couldn't find an image among the stash at the workshop to match the Letting Go part that I saw in my mind's eye, so I sketched out a card to collage later: a woman with her back to us opening her arms to the universe.
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| | Letting Go, by Alison Moncrieff |
Then, while sitting in the Weaving meditation, we were guided to let our hands rest lightly, palms up, in our laps, and in imagination allow each part to go to the hand where it seemed to belong. Then we sensed the qualities of each part in turn (shape, color, weight, temperature, scent, sound, etc.). My Letting Go part felt light and airy and warm in my left palm. It was pale green, resembling lichen, and smelled of the sea. My Attachment part felt heavy and hot in my hand, so heavy that I felt my hand was pinned to my leg. It was a huge black block, glossy and impenetrable, like a skyscraper with no windows. It smelled like bay leaves.
Next, we asked each part a series of questions -- about its view of the situation, its desires and intentions for us, its feelings about the other part -- and recorded the answers on an outline prepared by our Facilitator. We guided a discussion between the two parts, again writing down what was said, to aid in resolving the conflict. |
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I have known that I have a free, independent soul.... but in matters large and small, I have consistently chosen to defer to others and depend on their help rather than on my own powers.
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The Letting Go part spoke of awareness and safety in growth and was very positive -- about me, about the situation, and in conversation with the Attachment part. The Attachment part was angry, contemptuous, protective, and punitive in its conversation with the Letting Go part. It told me I needed to do a lot of work and make lots of plans and confront all kinds of problems, to hang on to the house at all costs. It told me I couldn't trust myself, and it asked the Letting Go part to leave. The Letting Go part told me I was free to turn over control of this situation and that if I remained aware and trusted life, I could grow and still feel safe, whether or not the house remained in my life. The Attachment part spoke to me as if I were a child, in a mean, disempowering parental voice.
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| | Integration, by Alison Moncrieff |
Finally, in meditation we brought our hands toward each other very slowly, each with its resident part, while sensing what was happening inside us, and if possible let our two hands touch. I was very scared as I brought the two together because I was sure the Attachment part would smash the Letting Go part, or suffocate it. But as I drew my hands together, the Letting Go part disintegrated the black block of the Attachment part into a million tiny particles. The last step in the exercise was to make a card to represent whatever integration of the two parts might have happened. Mine is on the left.
As comedian Janeane Garofalo said, "I have a very 'Will-you-start-[peeling]-my-orange-for- me?' approach to life." Inside, I have known that I have a free, independent soul. I have been attracted by the power I associate with driving my own life, but in matters large and small, I have consistently chosen to defer to others and depend on their help rather than on my own powers.
I discovered within this Weaving exercise that I can be stable, free, and joyful without being dependent on others and clinging so tightly to things. In fact, being dependent precludes the joy of freedom. I can be free through letting go and learning to receive and hold in ways that feed me, instead of ways that simply attend to a fear. What I have interpreted as a savior, impenetrable and strong (family, establishment, inheritance), is only one tiny shard of a great world of possibility. And perhaps letting go -- something I have seen as reckless, unsafe, frivolous -- can be a sturdy tool for learning to trust myself and to develop personal agency. This really is an integration: the Attachment part's desire for security now feels amply met, within my expanded sense of being at home in the universe.
I feel both calmed and energized as a result of this door opening for me. Knowing I don't need to rely on others for my stability gives me great peace. And letting go, which once felt limiting and scary to me, now feels like a liberating practice through which things can go well in a million different ways.
And the house dilemma? I wrote to my siblings saying I'm content to let things rest for now, since our dad is still healthy. Once I released my attachment, my siblings seemed to let go of the struggle to figure things out and force a certain outcome. Accepting and supporting each other around this decision feels wonderful.
 Alison Moncrieff lives in Oakland, CA where she raises children and chickens, designs gardens, and writes poems. Always an artist and newly wanting to heal herself and attend to the healing of others, she has found in SoulCollage® a wonderfully harmonious practice. She plays in the intersection of poetry and stitching here. |
If you are interested in doing some advanced work with yourself, or in groups you facilitate, to transform conflict into positive change (especially between two of your SoulCollage cards or two themes in your deck), this CD offers three guided journeys based on Mariabruna Sirabella's extensive study of yoga and shamanic practice. Learn more or purchase here.
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We all experience that inner tug-of-war, conflict, or struggle when we are challenged to change a long time habit, behavior, or pattern. How do we achieve a peaceful yet empowered change or decision that meets the needs of all our parts so they align for the show of your life? Join Barb Horn in a hands-on and fun journey using a current real life situation and your SoulCollage® deck. This is an online recorded course. Download and learn at your own pace. Learn more here.
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Mariabruna Sirabella, MS, LMFT talks about SoulCollage® and how it helps her remember what matters the most.
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Join the SoulCollage® Facilitator Community around the world... a place is waiting for you.
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Photo by Diane Karen Born
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UNITED STATES
April 9-12, 2015 - Mariabruna Sirabella, M.S., LMFT
California (Los Gatos)CLICK HERE for info and to REGISTER
Massachusetts (Andover) - Rolling Ridge Retreat Center Colorado (Arvada) - St. Andrew Lutheran Church
Ohio (Columbus) - Deer Creek Lodge
Pennsylvania (West Chester) - Temenos Retreat Center
North Carolina (Charlotte) - Catherine Anderson Studio
California (Southern CA-Lake Elsinore) - Pine Manor INTERNATIONAL
(Ed. Note: US and Canada residents, keep your eye on the Euro. The exchange rate has been advantageous to you. Perhaps you can combine a European vacation with a SoulCollage® Facilitator Training!)
*No degrees or certificates are required to attend the SoulCollage® Training. The purpose of the Training is to prepare people to share SoulCollage® with others. The pre-requisites for the SoulCollage® Facilitator Training are your own active practice of SoulCollage® and your enthusiasm for sharing it with others, as well as reading SoulCollage® Evolving by Seena B. Frost and listening to her CDs: Introduction to SoulCollage® and Facilitating SoulCollage® in Groups. Before attending a Training, we want you also to have a SoulCollage® workshop experience with a trained SoulCollage® Facilitator or listen to a recorded class Fundamentals of SoulCollage®, make some cards, do the exercise, " I Am One Who...", with your cards and do some SoulCollage® Readings, letting your cards answer at least one of your questions.
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 Our Getting Started Kit comes complete with Seena Frost's book, SoulCollage® Evolving, 12 quality blank mat board cards (5"x8"), 24-pack card sleeves, a Pioneer glue stick and a SoulCollage® card frame. .
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Either click here or go to www.soulcollage.com, scroll down the right column and click the link to Amazon.com there before you start shopping. Thank you!
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