A Peacemaking Practice

There are times each day which seem to call for a peace-filled expression, word, prayer or touch. In tense moments it is a challenge to seek peace. Watch for tips, guidance and tools each third week of the month right here.

Getting others to do what we want

  

Last month I started on the theme of things we do to address conflict which, while they quite obviously don't work-indeed couldn't possibly work-we nonetheless keep trying because our culture tells us they should work. Because these things don't work while we are told they should, we come to believe that these conflicts are ones that cannot be resolved.

 

It is fundamental to the Peacemaker Training that all conflicts can be resolved. God hasn't constructed a world in which we cannot create what we need. We have only failed to yet learn how to live in this world in such a way that everyone gets what they need. These puzzles are the Holy Spirit's way of inviting us into a New Way of Being that moves us closer to the Way... closer to the Realm of God.

 

Last month we considered that making others lose will not actually make us win. It only creates circumstances in which everyone loses. A second common cognitive distortion is that we can get what we need if we can only get others to do what we want. Indeed, we should be able to get others to do what we want, especially if we have their best interests at heart. As a salesman, I should get my customers to buy my great products. As a parent, I should be able to get my kids to go to bed and to clean their rooms.

 

I have worked with some people who actually believe they can control the choices of another. This is so even as they are very frustrated that others won't do what they want. When we are committed to getting others to do what we want they will tend to see us as controlling and will resist us. They may even resist when what we want for them is something they genuinely need. We call this "cutting off your nose to spite your face."

 

For our part, when we are invested in making others change, all they have to do to make us lose is to do what they are already doing. What could be easier? When we are frustrated and feeling helpless and hopeless we are trying to change something we can't change.

 

There is an image in Taoist literature that suggests that the Tao-that is the Power of God-is like water. It gently flows but can wear away the hardest stone. Our power, when it is aligned with God, comes not from our ability to change others, but our ability to be ourselves transformed.

 

Camp MoVal's annual Golf Tournament and Fund Raiser is on Saturday, October 4, with a 1:30 pm shotgun start. The funds raised from this annual event allow Camp MoVal to continually provide scholarships to anyone interested in participating at the camp and its programs. This event also allows us to invest in making several improvements to our facilities at MoVal.

Your continued support of Camp MoVal and Outdoor Ministries is allowing us to be successful in reaching out, providing outdoor opportunities, creating a safe space where all are welcome to participate and providing dynamic and life-changing programs. Please come out on October 4, 2014 and support your outdoor ministries program! You may find the registration information on MoVal's website or click here for event flyer and registration form.  You may also call the camp office at 636-583-2730. Thank you for your support!

Lydia's Ladle empowers and employs women that have been victimized by domestic violence. Through this opportunity, Lydia's Ladle is able to provide Lydia's House residents the opportunity to work in a safe environment free from the abuser and provides confidentially located employment.

Lydia's Ladle is special because:
* Provides employment hours for women during children's school hours allowing the freedom to parent before and after school without the additional burden of childcare expenses
* Day time employment hours are available that are not available all the time at minimum wage jobs
* Transportation is available to and from work through directly located bus lines
* Will provide sustainable income for the women while at Lydia's House and throughout the after care process
* Provides documented work experience to better themselves in their future career and opens the opportunity to work in restaurants by building a work history and familiarity in the industry
* Increases self esteem and confidence (that of which is lost in an abusive relationship) in order to work outside of the home

Be the first to taste test our CHICKEN or VEGGIE potpies.  Test market pies available only until October 31!  To learn more about ordering potpies, click here.

            Because of the historic significance of a lawsuit brought by a mainline denomination against a State, the Missouri Mid-South Conference, the Illinois South Conference and The First Congregational Church of St. Louis have invited Mr. Donald C. Clark, Jr., General Counsel of the United Church of Christ, to be in St. Louis on Sunday afternoon, October 26, 2014. Mr. Clark will present additional information, perspective and analysis regarding the lawsuit and answer questions. The forum will take place in the sanctuary of The First Congregational Church of St. Louis, beginning at 3pm and conclude no later than 5pm, with a reception following in the church's fellowship hall.

 

            Mark your calendars and plan to attend what promises to be a very interesting, informative and spirit filled discussion relating to this prophetic action. No RSVP is necessary but would be appreciated in order to plan appropriately for the event. You may call the church office at 314-721-5060 or send an e-mail message to office@firstcongregational.org.   You may also contact me if you have questions prior to the event.

 

Barnet M. McKee, Attorney for the Missouri Mid-South and Illinois South Conferences

314-361-0800 mike.mckee@charter.net