Readers Respond
Hi Veronica The next time you're on this subject, you might throw in a few words about us guys. So far as I know, there is no male equivalent of "slut" or "whore". The words "fornicator" or "womanizer" do not even come close. Nevertheless, we have our own issues. Many of us learned guilt and shame at an early age, and I speak for legions who are glad to be out of it. We are off our knees and on our feet. Thanks. Ryan Yes, Ryan, shame most certainly effects all genders. No doubt about it. And while the Whore/Madonna dichotomy effects both men and women because men are not encouraged to love a whole woman but to split off their love from their sex, it is women who are raped and murdered because of the rape culture the dichotomy creates. However, there is another form of shame which effects men in a very detrimental fashion and that is the shame surrounding male lust. In fact, a colleague named Kerwin Kaye edited an anthology by that name: "Male Lust." You might want to read it. Fortunately, this shame does not lead to the rape and murder of men but it certainly destroys lives and hurts both men and women in the long run. I think the equivalent of slut-shaming and whore-bashing for men is being labeled "gay" or a "fag." Anything which might suggest that a man is more female than male can endanger his personal safety and even his life. Such labels have led to the rape and murder of more than a few men. Blessings, Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM Hi Veronica, Anais Nin has written about how she used to write private pornography stories for some men, and the men kept telling her to take out the poetry of the stories, and just write, for lack of a better way of putting it, the mechanics of the sex. I've never understood this. I like porn, but I like the porn that has something more than just the mechanics of the sex in it. I think we have to try to put the poetry back in, not just to porn, but to life as well. It seems like the poetry has gone out of it for so many. And it's these types of men who don't see the poetry and go about abusing women sexually, and in others ways. Makes me want to cry. Good article. Keep raising awareness of the issue. I know we'll get there someday. Will "Taliesin" Jarvis Dear Veronica, I am checking in with you. In my experience you are one of the only persons male or female that perceived my despair and the depth of the deception. In one evening none the less. Being that you are a professional healer with deep personal experience, you as it turned out, hold yourself to a much higher standard. I applaud your ethics and wish to convey my appreciation. Thank you for doing your homework and being who you are.
Respectfully, Dave Note To My Amazing Readers and Clients: If you wish to share your perspectives and success stories, you can do so anonymously! Have you realized inspiring progress in your relationship? Are you feeling less burdened by shame? Please consider sharing with others so they might benefit too. Email me with your story. Your privacy is assured. | 
Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM